Big Trouble (2002)
Jack Kehler: Leonard Ferroni
Photos
Quotes
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Leonard : If I don't shoot someone soon, I'm gonna forget how.
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Leonard : Look at this thing. He's the size of a Buick.
Henry Desalvo : She.
Leonard : She what?
Henry Desalvo : The mosquito is a she.
Leonard : How the hell can you tell that?
Henry Desalvo : Discovery Channel. Only the female mosquito sucks your blood.
Leonard : Sounds like my ex-wife. Bitch.
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Leonard : [during their second attempt to kill Arthur] What's happening?
Henry Desalvo : Well, Moron #1 is tying up the family.
Leonard : So take the shot.
Henry Desalvo : I would, but Moron #2 just came back with a couple of Miami's Finest.
Henry Desalvo : [notices Eliot in the kitchen] Hold on a second. We have a Die Hard situation developing in the kitchen.
Leonard : What?
Henry Desalvo : There's a guy there in the kitchen.
Leonard : A guy? What's he doing?
Henry Desalvo : Well, my guess is he's either gonna whack em' with a rolling pin or he's gonna bake em' a cake. I don't know. Could go either way with this crew.
[sees Eliot grab Matt's water pistol]
Henry Desalvo : Holy shit. Betty Crocker's got a squirt gun!
Leonard : Let me look!
Henry Desalvo : Forget about it. This is better than pay-per-view.
[sees Eliot make the water pistol look like a real gun]
Henry Desalvo : There goes the warranty, and here comes the Iron Chef.
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[At the airport, Leonard trips and a hunting rifle goes flying out of his golf bag. He and Henry freeze when they see FBI Agents Greer and Seitz, and Officer Romero standing there]
Pat Greer : Your jurisdiction.
[the FBI Agents leave. Monica stares and Henry and Leonard for a few seconds, then picks up the rifle, removes the bolt, and tosses the rifle back to the ground]
Monica Romero : Gentlemen.
[She leaves]
Henry Desalvo : ...Well, Miami sucks. But the cops are kind of nice.
Leonard : Got that right.
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Annoyed Sports Radio Host : I'm looking for one brave Gators fan to call, just one. Oh so Gators fans talk trash all the time but when they play a game and lose nobody has the guts to call in?
Leonard : What are Gators?
Henry Desalvo : Football. College.
Confused Sports Radio Call In : I'm a Gators fan.
Annoyed Sports Radio Host : And what do you have to say?
Confused Sports Radio Call In : You said that Gators fans don't have the guts to call in.
Annoyed Sports Radio Host : Your point?
Confused Sports Radio Call In : My point is that I'm calling you now.
Leonard : [notices Snake and Eddie escorting Arthur wearing dark-colored pantyhose on their head] Is that him?
Henry Desalvo : I think we got Gator fans.
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[Henry and Leonard are stuck in the middle of a big traffic jam, just right before the Airport Road]
Henry Desalvo : We're gonna miss our flight.
Leonard : You see what the problem is?
Henry Desalvo : I don't know. There's some kind of commotion up there. There might be something about it on the radio.
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Henry Desalvo : [back at his table] You go tell your employer it's gonna cost him another 10 G's apiece.
His Boss : Okay. But we want this finished as soon as possible.
Henry Desalvo : Well, believe me, we don't want to spend anymore time in this garden spot than we have to.
Leonard : Got that right.