Cher Horowitz: [opening lines, voiceover, Rodeo Drive shop-till-you-drop to the tune of "It's a Beautiful Life"] I guess you can say that I'm blessed. I mean, here I am, living in the greatest shopping country in the world, and don't think I don't appreciate it.
[prize purchase slung over her shoulder, then back at home, unpacking]
Cher Horowitz: Dee, you look so Betty.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport: Well, you are beyond Betty, you are approaching Demi.
Josh: [in room] Ugh.
Cher Horowitz: [to Dee] You are pushing the Uma envelope.
Dionne "Dee" Davenport: Oh, thank you.
Cher Horowitz: [voiceover] Dee and I are getting ready for the gala grand opening of Alonzo Marcus, a way exclusive European designer store,
[scoffs]
Cher Horowitz: which isn't easy in the same room as my oats-scarfing non-stepbrother.
Josh: Ugh, okay, so let me get this straight. You're buying clothes in order to go to the store where you can buy clothes...?
Cher Horowitz: Of course. You never walk into a store looking like you need clothes, I mean, they're not going to give you the time of day. You have to make them respect you.
Josh: Gee, silly me, I thought people respect you because of your character, your integrity.
[Dee yawns dramatically]
Josh: Hey, at least I'm trying to do something useful here. I'm volunteering to help Joe Pasadine get elected to the State Assembly. Maybe we can finally get some regulations on toxic dumping and auto emissions.
Cher Horowitz: Josh, you're so C-Span.
Josh: That's a good one.
[rises, leaves]
Cher Horowitz: [voiceover] It's always great to slam-dunk Mr. Holier-Than-Thou, so why did it give me this general feeling of ickiness?