- Rose: If you ask me, people rely too much on sex in relationships anyway.
- Ernie Faber: You're right. I mean, what is sex after all?
- Rose: Two clunky old bodies, thrashing around against each other, like animals.
- Ernie Faber: You get all sweaty and flushed.
- Rose: Your hair gets mussed.
- Ernie Faber: You lose your breath.
- Rose: You lose your earring.
- Ernie Faber: Your mouth waters.
- Rose: Your nose runs.
- Ernie Faber: Your heart races.
- Rose: Your blood races.
- Ernie Faber: Rose?
- Rose: Say it, Ernie!
- Ernie Faber: It's time, Rose!
- Rose: Check, please!
- Blanche Devereaux: Impotent? Are you sure?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh Blanche, what would you have done? Asked him to prove it?
- Rose: I guess I never really learned how to be assertive.
- Blanche Devereaux: Honey, it's as easy as riding a bicycle.
- Rose: I never learned how to ride a bicycle.
- Dorothy Zbornak: It's as easy as falling off of a bicycle.
- Rose: Oh! That is easy!
- [leaves kitchen]
- Dorothy Zbornak: [turns to Blanche] I had a hunch.
- Dorothy Zbornak: A feather, that's a symbol, isn't it?
- Sophia: What're you talking about?
- Dorothy Zbornak: Oh don't play dumb with me, Ma, everything from Sicily means something: a black rose means a loved one is dying, a white carnation means a newborn is on the way, a dead rabbit means 'My husband knows, get out of town'.
- Rose: Knows what?
- Dorothy Zbornak: The score to South Pacific, Rose!
- Blanche Devereaux: Well, Rose Nylund has a date on Saturday night and Blanche Deveraux does not, what're the odds of that? There're probably better odds of being struck by lightning in a house you won from Ed McMahon.
- Dorothy Zbornak: Ever since you got that feather in the mail, you've been acting like a spy, I'm surprised you didn't check the broom closet to see if someone was hiding in it.
- Sophia: Broom closet, right!
- [gets up]
- Dorothy Zbornak: Ma, you're acting crazy.
- Blanche Devereaux: Well now, Dorothy, I happen to know that there *is* enough room in that broom closet for at least two people, and enough room left for a tray of cold cuts.