- [Luke Skywalker and C-3PO, from the movie Star Wars, are making a guest appearance on the show "Pigs in Space"]
- Luke Skywalker: [pointing at Miss Piggy, who's dressed like Princess Leia] Look, it's the Princess!
- C-3PO: She doesn't look like the Princess to me.
- Miss Piggy: [sternly, to C-3PO] Watch it, hardware!
- Miss Piggy: [pulling Luke down, dressed as Princess Leia] Look, Skywalker, play along or I'll cut you in half...
- Luke Skywalker: Look! It's the princess!
- C-3PO: She doesn't look like a princess.
- Miss Piggy: Watch it, hardware...
- [Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, and R2-D2 have crashed through a guest's dressing-room wall]
- C-3PO: Excuse me, Master Luke, but where are we?
- Mark Hamill: [as Luke Skywalker] Beats me, '3PO. We appear to have landed on some sort of comedy-variety show planet...
- Luke Skywalker, C-3PO: [with Piggy, Link, and Strangepork] Oh, no, Derth Nader!
- [looks at camera]
- Luke Skywalker, C-3PO: Who?
- Gonzo: The world will never know!
- The Newsman: Here's a bulletin from the Muppet Newsroom. The spaceship Swine Trek is about to make a soft landing on a distant planet. In other planetary news, Venus is about to make a hard landing on the Muppet Newsroom. That doesn't make sense.
- [suddenly, the Venus de Milo falls down on top of the Newsman's desk]
- Fozzie Bear: [to Mark] You could be a guest on this very show!
- [he addresses Kermit as he approaches]
- Fozzie Bear: Right, Kermit?
- Kermit the Frog: Oh, well, maybe. What do you do, Mark?
- Mark Hamill: [imitating Kermit] Oh, uh, well, you know, I've been known to do impressions. Yaaay!
- Kermit the Frog: Hm-mmm. Who do you do?
- [Mark looks perplexed]
- Robin the Frog: Uncle Kermit, Uncle Kermit!
- Kermit the Frog: Oh, just one second, Robin. One thing at a time. That's how I'm able to put on this show without falling into a panic. Next, we have, uh... Pigs in Space! Pigs in Space next, please!
- [He directs his attention to Robin, who is facepalming and shaking his head]
- Kermit the Frog: Uh, now what was it?
- Robin the Frog: Well, I was trying to tell ya the Star Wars people have hijacked the Swinetrek.
- Kermit the Frog: [stammering in a panic] They've hijacked the... they've hijacked the Swinetrek?
- [Kermit runs onstage and crashes into something]
- Robin the Frog: ...Well, at least he didn't panic.