The Young Ones (TV Series)

Oil (1982)

Barrie Cookson: 2nd Man on Raft

Quotes 

• [Two dishevelled, unshaved men are lying on a raft in the middle of the ocean] 

  Man on Raft : What was that?

  2nd Man on Raft : What?

  Man on Raft : ...Nothing. My mind's beginning to play tricks on me. I thought we were lying on a raft just now.

  2nd Man on Raft : You should take it easy, you know. You must be working too hard.

  [They're actually lying on a mattress in a dingy cellar lit by a bare bulb] 

  2nd Man on Raft : Bloody hot, isn't it?

  Man on Raft : It is.

  2nd Man on Raft : I should get a lower wattage bulb.

  Man on Raft : Help! We're sinking! We're sinking!

  2nd Man on Raft : Relax. We're not sinking, we're not sinking. I'll get some fresh air in here.

  [He opens the door, revealing endless ocean, and breathes deeply] 

  2nd Man on Raft : Ah, that's better.

  [He closes the door, then pauses] 

  2nd Man on Raft : Uh...

  Man on Raft : What's the matter?

  2nd Man on Raft : Nothing! Nothing. Can you swim at all?

  Man on Raft : What?

  2nd Man on Raft : I was just wondering.

  Man on Raft : Wondering?

  2nd Man on Raft : Yes, I was wondering if you might swim to the chemist and get me something for my hallucinations.

  Man on Raft : Have you had one too?

  2nd Man on Raft : Either that, or the whole town is flooded.

  Man on Raft : You're right. We've been working too hard. I haven't had a holiday for over a year now.

  2nd Man on Raft : What about this?

  Man on Raft : What? This? A holiday? Two weeks in a cellar under a light bulb?

  2nd Man on Raft : It was all I could get.