Soapdish (1991)
Teri Hatcher: Ariel Maloney
Photos
Quotes
-
Jeffrey Anderson : You have beautiful eyes.
Ariel Maloney : Ooh, they're nothing compared to my tits.
-
Celeste Talbert : [accepting an award] Ohhh, there's so many people to thank. First of all, my fabulous supporting cast, who gives a new meaning to the word "support"...
[At their table]
Ariel Maloney : Bitch!
David Barnes : Hag!
Montana Moorehead : I hate her so much!
-
Montana Moorehead : [as Lori, Celeste, And Jeffrey kiss and make up] WAIT! Wait! But I'm carrying his child!
Jeffrey Anderson : [annoyed] I didn't sleep with her! Will somebody please believe me!
[Ariel and Rose enter as doctors]
Jeffrey Anderson : Doctor!
Ariel Maloney : A second opinion...
[Celeste mouths to Rose asking what she's doing]
Ariel Maloney : ...this is Dr. Frans Blau of the sex change clinic in Bethesda, Maryland.
Rose Schwartz : Thank you. Dr. Randall, after extensive investigations, I've come to the conclusion that it's virtually impossible for you to have impregnated your nurse - Montana Moorehead - because before she came to our little clinic, she was... Milton Moorehead of Syosset, Long Island. Hello!
[Rose opens the high school yearbook showing Montana's teenage boy photo]
Montana Moorehead : [shouts and runs off] NO! NO! NO!
-
Ariel Maloney : New boy in town?
Jeffrey Anderson : Just got off the choo-choo... you have lovely eyes.
Ariel Maloney : They're nothing compared to my tits! You should come up and see them sometime!
-
Ariel Maloney : Why, Bolt! I didn't realize you were here.
Bolt : Well... I am.
-
Ariel Maloney : [after seeing Montana on the Enquirer, angry in tears] Bitch!
-
Ariel Maloney : Oh, yummy.
Montana Moorehead : With a spoon.
Ariel Maloney : He's mine. You touch, you die.