- Charlie: Once upon a time there were three very different little girls who grew up to be three very different women with three things in common: they're brilliant, they're beautiful, and they work for me. My name is Charlie.
- Eric Knox: So where we going, House of Pancakes or The Sizzler?
- Vivian Wood: What are you, the cheapest man on the planet?
- Roger Corwin: You're very good. With your hands. I could use someone like you on my staff.
- Alex: Thanks for the offer but my hands aren't going anywhere near your staff.
- [ordering at the drive through]
- Dylan: I'll have three burgers, three French fries and three cherry pies. What do you guys want?
- Natalie: [to UPS guy] I signed that release form,so you can just feel free to stick things in my slot.
- Alex: Your methodologies are antiquated and weak. Your procedures of approval ensure that only the least radical ideas are rewarded. Meanwhile your competition is innovating.
- [whip]
- Dylan: [quietly] Ow.
- Alex: You. What was the last suggestion you made to your boss?
- Red Star Systems Techie: I said the coke machine should be free.
- Alex: Why?
- Red Star Systems Techie: Because caffeine helps us program.
- Alex: All right, let's get one thing straight between us.
- Jason Gibbons: Go ahead. We're way past keeping secrets at this point.
- Alex: This is gonna be long, hard and rough.
- Jason Gibbons: Sometimes when it's rough I just get there faster.
- Alex: If you don't diffuse this bomb, Logan, LA is gonna become a new underwater attraction.
- Jason Gibbons: Which wire? The red one or the blue one?
- Alex: Bump bump baah.
- Jason Gibbons: That is not helping.
- Alex: Ooh, my muffins.
- Jason Gibbons: This is stupid. Why wouldn't I just yank the wire.
- Alex: No honey, the real mechanism is inside encased in a titanium shell, if you trip the external feedback circuit the bomb will detonate.
- Jason Gibbons: Wow! You know for a bikini waxer you know an awful lot about bombs.
- Alex: Isn't it amazing how much you can learn off of the internet?
- Chad: Starfish, I would just like to say that I'm honored, honored to see you taking an interest in my work and I also think you're very pretty and... (sees girls getting scuba gear on) Starfish? Where are you going? Starfish are you going swimming? Where are you going? Where are you going again Starfish? Was it the Chad?
- Dylan: No the Chad was great.
- Chad: The Chad was great.
- Alex: Oh, my God, you're hit!
- Jason Gibbons: No, it's nothing. I mean the squibs hurt a little when they go off but... what happened to my trailer?
- Alex: Jason
- Jason Gibbons: Were you in there while that happened? I mean, look at it!
- Alex: Jason, I haven't been completely honest with you. I'm not a bikini waxer.
- Jason Gibbons: Bummer. I mean... that was kind of a turn on.
- [Vivian Wood steals Natalie's cell phone from her while she's talking to her friend Pete]
- Vivian Wood: Is this the famous Charlie?
- Pete: No, this is Pete.
- [first lines]
- Flight Attendant: I said, "Look, lady, it's not the seats that have gotten smaller, it's your ass that has gotten bigger."
- [Natalie, Dylan, Alex, and Chad are on a boat]
- Natalie: Hey Chad, does this thing go any faster? We're kind of in a hurry, and I could really open her up, and if you wanted me to drive.
- [turns to Dylan]
- Natalie: I could drive, right?
- Chad: I'm sorry, friend of Starfish, but there's only one captain of this love boat. That captain is me. The Chad.
- Natalie: The Chad.
- [both Natalie and Dylan are giggling]
- Natalie: Chad, captain of the love boat-
- Chad: [correcting Natalie] *The* Chad.
- Natalie: We're kind of in a hurry.
- Chad: [repeating] *The* Chad.
- Bouncer: Hey you! You wanna dance on stage?
- Natalie, Pete: Us? Yeah!
- Bouncer: No. Stage is for the ladies.
- Natalie: Oh, then you know what? I'm just gonna find a place on the floor.
- Pete: [to bouncer] Wait a minute!
- [to Natalie]
- Pete: This is like Soul Train's highest honor, I am NOT gonna sit here and let you NOT go up there so yeah, she'll go.
- Natalie: Really? Cause I've always wanted to go up there.
- Pete: Have a great time!
- Natalie: See you in a minute!
- Natalie: Dylan? Hey, it's Nat. Listen, Vivian Wood is a fake and an all-around bitch. Her assassin just paid me a visit. We gotta warn Knox.
- Bosley: And I had a really long talk with a squirrel one time, longer in fact than I can with most people.
- Jason Gibbons: So when do I get to meet this Charlie.
- Alex: Well, Charlie's not a very social person.
- Jason Gibbons: But Charlie's a chick right? I mean, she's definitely a woman?
- Eric Knox: You're a woman, you've got female intuition, *and* you're a detective... and you didn't know this was going to happen?
- Bosley: This place, it's Japanese, is it not?
- Roger Corwin: It's a 13th-century Shinto temple. I had it...
- [Bosley opens his mouth and leans forward, so his molar transmitter gets a clear signal]
- Roger Corwin: I had it FedExed from Kyoto. Blowfish?
- Bosley: Isn't that poisonous?
- Roger Corwin: It's a rare delicacy, for the man who has no fear of an excruciating death.
- Dylan: Technically, 1 in 60 is fatal.
- Bosley: [trying a piece, then feigning falling over dead] Tastes like chicken. That would go very nicely with broccoli.
- Charlie: With the micro-camera we planted on Corwin's briefcase, we've been able to study Red Star's layout.
- Alex: There's the mainframe, just behind that door.
- Eric Knox: Well, that's where my software would be, but the security looks incredible.
- Alex: Yeah. Restricted access.
- Dylan: Fingerprint ID.
- Natalie: Retinal scanner.
- Charlie: Angels, break it down.
- Dylan: Only two directors at Red Star have access to the mainframe room. In order to get through the security system, they have to synchronize their entrance. A gelatin scanning plate takes exact fingerprints.
- Natalie: A laser accurate to .009 millimeters scans the retina.
- Alex: The mainframe is accessible only through an airless antechamber. A surveillance-monitored clean room.
- Natalie: There's only one way to get through undetected: be invisible.
- Alex: The floor is rigged with pressure sensitivity. Any contact which exceeds .25 seconds will trigger the alarm.
- Vivian Wood: Sounds impossible.
- Natalie: Sounds like fun.