The Shield (2002–2008)
Michael Chiklis: Detective Vic Mackey
Photos
Quotes
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Vic Mackey : Good cop and bad cop have left for the day. I'm a different kind of cop.
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Vic Mackey : Well maybe in your own mind, amigo. But in the real world, I don't answer to you. Not today, not tomorrow, not even on Cinco de Mayo.
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Claudette Wyms : The evidence is lacking.
Vic Mackey : So is Dutchboy's dick but I'm not helping with that.
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Vic Mackey : Hi. I'm detective Vic Mackey.
Cop : These your men?
Vic Mackey : It depends. What did they do?
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[Vic is trying to scare a suspect in a third floor apartment]
Vic Mackey : Write what I tell you.
[Vic puts a notepad and a pen in the suspect's hands]
Vic Mackey : L. I. F. E. New word, new word! S. U. X.
[rips off the page and puts it into the lapel pocket of the suspect's shirt, then leads him towards an open window]
Vic Mackey : Looks like you're going to die a bad speller.
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Vic Mackey : I don't step aside. I step up.
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[Vic doesn't do anything and the suspect starts screaming]
Suspect : Help! Help! HELP!
David Aceveda : [walks in] What's going on in here?
Vic Mackey : [confused] Nothing.
[Aceveda glares at him]
Vic Mackey : Really.
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Vic Mackey : [to the Strike Team] Hey, option one is: we take him alive. But feel free to consider option two.
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Officer : You guys have anything to declare?
Vic Mackey : Just that is great to be back in the States.
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Vic Mackey : [after he identified Ben Gilroy's body] How'd he die?
Medical Examiner : Take your pick. Cirrhosis, malnutrition, official cause was suffocation. Aspirated on his own vomit.
[looking at a file]
Medical Examiner : Christ, this guy was the Assistant Police Chief? What happened?
Vic Mackey : Take your pick.
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Vic Mackey : I don't speak ebonics, shithead!
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Vic Mackey : [to Julien about a suspect] He sees the uniform and runs? He did it.
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Vic Mackey : You still got that boyfriend?
Lauren Riley : You still got that wife?
Vic Mackey : No. You still got that boyfriend?
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Vic Mackey : Get over it and don't bring it up again.
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Vic Mackey : You better figure out how much you hate me. And how you're going to deal with that. 'Cause I'm not going anywhere.
Claudette Wyms : Neither am I.
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Taylor : Are you gonna hold this third strike over me for the rest of my life?
Vic Mackey : I could lie to you. But I have far too much respect for you as a person. Yes I am!
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Vic Mackey : [about Shane's baby, Jackson] Cute kid.
Shane Vendrell : Thanks. He's got his mother's looks.
Vic Mackey : Thank God!
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Vic Mackey : Pack up your shit and get on the first donkey back to home.
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Vic Mackey : Since when did you get an ulcer?
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky : Since the Armenian mob started looking for me.
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Vic Mackey : Ay, Mo. Your sister's ass really tastes as sweet as Alvarez here says it does? He wants to know what your momma's putting in the corn muffin.
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Shane Vendrell : It was gonna be a surprise.
Vic Mackey : It is. A bad one.
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Vic Mackey : Until now I've tolerated you. Come near my men again... I'm gonna lose patience.
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Shane Vendrell : Can I get your autograph, man?
Vic Mackey : Yeah, like on a confession?
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Vic Mackey : I'll never forget what you guys did for me.
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky : Don't worry, we won't let you.
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Captain Monica Rawling : Let me guess - you're either with Vic Mackey or you're against him.
Vic Mackey : Keeps things simple.
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Vic Mackey : [after shooting a dog] Sir, I'm telling you, the kid had no choice. The dog was reaching. It was kill or be killed.
Captain Monica Rawling : Oh come on, Roy. The dog had a piece, he was gonna use it.
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Vic Mackey : [to Dutch] Just attack it like you're hungry. Like the wolf.
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Vic Mackey : Put your clothes on, get out of here, and change your taste in men.
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Vic Mackey : Wipe those smiles off your faces ya shit heads. You don't score points with me bagging twelve year olds.
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Vic Mackey : What the hell are you doing?
Shane Vendrell : I'm not doing anything that we weren't doing before. I'm just pumping things up a level.
Vic Mackey : And what level is that? Prison?
[Shane doesn't answer]
Vic Mackey : All right, where's my investment now?
Shane Vendrell : It's all tied up in the coke shipment.
Vic Mackey : That coke that had Tio's guy bleeding from every orifice?
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Vic Mackey : [to Connie's sons' foster parents] I'm gonna be checking in on him from time to time. I better like what I see.
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Claudette Wyms : You gonna be able to handle him?
Vic Mackey : Oh, yeah. I'll make him sing.
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Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky : [about breaking into the safe] I don't like this.
Vic Mackey : Well pretend.
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Vic Mackey : Partner up with a criminal? I can name one flaw in that plan.
Shane Vendrell : Only one?
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Trish : Better than going home to an empty bed.
Vic Mackey : Well, I can't help you with that. At least, not tonight.
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Vic Mackey : [Listening to the Armenians] Huh... the Armenians... speak Armenian.
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Vic Mackey : [to guy selling stuff out of his car] You having a sidewalk sale and didn't invite us, Taylor, I thought we was on yo mailing list.
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Vic Mackey : [to witness] A lot of people wanna know what evil looks like.
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Vic Mackey : [leaving interrogation room] Excuse me while I get a Kleenex for the rest of this sob story.
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Holland Wagenbach : You ever hear of a Canadian super pot?
Vic Mackey : What, you looking to buy a bag?
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[Holland asks Vic's help on a case]
Vic Mackey : Well, seeing as you and Claudette's Wonder Twin Powers aren't fully activated yet, I'll do you a favor and pick up the slack on this one.
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Smitty : Why are you guys always coming to me with this shit?
Vic Mackey : Because you're the last honest guy we know.
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Vic Mackey : Maybe it would help to recreate the crime: "Ai, Dios mio. I'm burning.". Hey, hey Smitty. Get these two to the morgue ASAP.
Vic Mackey : Why are you a better deal for me than Rondell?
Tio : I don't use my own product. Rondell does. More and more.
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Detective Trish George : You like Chinese?
Vic Mackey : Sometimes.
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Detective Trish George : Thanks for making me queen.
Vic Mackey : Enjoy your kingdom.
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Lauren Riley : They brought us out here because of a song?
Vic Mackey : Just think of it as quality time.
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Vic Mackey : How's your stomach now?
Curtis 'Lemonhead' Lemansky : It'll be better when this is done.