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- Bill and Judy are not your average parents; the kids are the responsible ones.
- While Bill and Judy's marriage seems threatened by the sudden introduction of unadorned honesty, Bill's fatherly advice to Brian for attracting girls gets Brian into trouble at school.
- Brian is getting anonymous instant messages from a girl and believes it is Lauren's tutor, Sarah. Unbeknown to him Lauren is the person sending the messages just to play with Brian.
- Brian has a crush on a girl called Carrie at school, but to her, he is invisible. Lauren encourages Brian by saying that he has a lot of potential - with a little bit of work, he "could actually be... a pretty good-looking guy". She then offers to give Brian a whole new look, because that would be a challenge to her. It all goes well, until a slight accident happens... Meanwhile, Bill wants to buy a muscle car of his dreams. Judy does not approve. Linda stops by with Perry, who is about to start making a music video of his dreams - but he hasn't even written the song yet! Since the video would be partly funded with Linda's money, Judy asks if it is really wise to spend the money that's been reserved for Linda and Perry's wedding. When Linda tells Bill about Judy's comment, he declares Judy a dream-crusher and suggests that Linda encourage Perry to make the music video. Then... Linda tells Judy about Bill's advice, and an argument ensues. In the end, Judy storms out, predicting that Bill's advice will result in things falling apart...
- When an after school program is cancelled, the kids' parents decide to have a meeting to determine how they can raise money to reinstate the program. They decide a silent auction offering items donated by the parents will be a good way to raise money. Everyone seems to have good items to offer, but Bill and Judy have nothing. They decide to offer a beef dinner for 2, followed by a tooth cleaning by Judy. No one bids on it, while the other items all have been bid on. Judy and Bill figure out that the reason people want the after school program to continue is to be able to get rid of their children for a couple of hours. At the last minute they change their donation item to an arts and crafts party for the 10 highest bidders. The parents rush the table and their item is a success, beating out the Halversons. The Halversons congratulate them and then suggest they will help with Bill and Judy with the party if they accept 20 highest bids. They all agree. A few days before the party, the Halversons call Judy and tell her they can't help with the party, since they have a sick aunt out of town and must go help her. The party goes on as planned and Judy and Bill are overwhelmed with children running everywhere and problems occurring. Bill returns from the store with some items for the party and tells Judy there are dozens of cars parked at the Halversons and they are having a party, apparently laughing at pulling a fast one on Bill and Judy, who then round up the children and bring eggs and toilet paper to "decorate" the Halversons house. Inside the Halversons are having a memorial for their aunt who died. As eggs hit the windows and toilet paper is streaming everywhere, the Halversons open the door and confront the Millers, who are then embarrassed about the huge mistake they made. A police siren can be heard in the distance and the Millers and kids scatter.
- "Christmas Hell" is causing Judy stress and she proposes that this Christmas, she and Bill reduce the workload, like, for example, by not getting presents for each other. Bill takes this seriously, but luckily for him, his pal Kyle, on basis of experience from three divorces, advises him to get Judy a present. Brian loses his job as a Christmas carol singer at the mall and has to help Judy decorate the house. That job was supposed to belong to Lauren, but she doesn't have to do it since she has one at a restaurant - or so she claims. Brian finds out that she is lying and wants in on the scam. Suddenly he has "a job" too. Also, having "jobs" mean they don't have to go see Judy's mother with the others. Can they pull it off?
- Lauren says she should start thinking about college and that she'd like to participate on a tour in Loyola on Friday evening. Judy doesn't buy the cover story, of what is obviously a frat party, and forbids Lauren from going. Bill requests Brian to help him insulate the attic. Judy and Linda are forced to attend traffic school because of tickets. Unlike in high school, Linda becomes popular with everyone while Judy is left out and left to hang with an intellectual sitting in the back corner. Despite having been told not to go, Lauren goes to the party anyway but is later forced to call Brian to pick her up, which gives Brian leverage to force Lauren into being his "slave," or else he will tell Bill and Judy. Lauren, however, starts a power struggle when she successfully bluffs Brian into revealing where the "dirt" on him is hidden. Bill finds out about their lies but says their mother need not know - if Brian and Lauren become his attic insulation slaves.
- During a potluck at Lauren's boyfriend's house, Bill and Judy unknowingly buy tickets to his parent's church production of Godspell. They lie to get out of going but then run into the Dad on their way to Ozzfest.
- Bill's dad Al is coming for a visit and the girls are temporarily accommodated in the basement. Bill tells Judy that Al has changed for better since meeting his fiancée, Joy. And Al has promised to be a better father. Turns out that Joy has a son an Al is going to be a better father to him. Oh, and Bill's new step-brother's name is also Bill, so the original Bill (vol. 1) has to change his name. Unless he can sort out this terrible mess.
- Bill's father makes a visit
- Lauren wants to go to a under-21 club but Judy won't let her go. There is a picture of Lauren and her father on the newspaper, except that the man in picture is actually Becca's dad. Judy concludes that Bill isn't spending enough time (or, more precisely, no time at all) with Lauren and Bill agrees to do something with Lauren. Not surprisingly, they find they have nothing to talk about, so they hatch a plan to make Judy think they have spent time together. Meanwhile, Judy can't resist trying out Linda's wedding gown.
- Bill comes down with a bad case of accumulated sick days, which he'll lose if he doesn't use them by staying home for a few days. Lauren is about to go to her first school dance, but bullying another girl at school gets her grounded. Judy tries to impress Lauren about the wrongfulness of bullying by telling her the story of her own bullied time with classmate Jeana Mirelli. When Lauren later confides to Bill that Judy told her about Jeana, Bill thinks Judy shared the real story, where Judy was the merciless bully and Jeana was her victim. Lauren is outraged at Judy for lying, Judy is mad at Bill for revealing, and Bill is upset at Judy for not updating him on this latest lie to the kids. Since Bill seems to think Judy is being too harsh on Lauren, Judy puts Bill completely in charge of her punishment. To Lauren's delight, Bill allows her to attend the dance, so Judy further allows Bill to shop for Lauren's party dress, for which Bill, unschooled in the ways of aggressive dress shopping, is woefully unprepared.
- Bill and Judy want Tina to go to a birthday party held at Willie Gault's, a 1985 Chicago Bear house. But Tina doesn't, she wants to go to her best friends birthday party.
- Lauren has taken up the clarinet and she has a recital coming up; Problem is she isn't very good at it and Carl tells Bill that his old buddy Wheezer's in town. Bill's excited, because he hasn't seen Wheezer in a long time and when they meet, they find that he's married to a psychologist, Dr. Sarah Cunningham and this isn't the same crazy Wheezer he knew. Bill says that Sarah changed him and Carl says that Judy changed Bill as well. Bill upset about that, talks to Judy, but she denies that she has. Bill says she did, because he shaved his mustache for her and got rid of the "man fort". Bill has decided to bring back "Killer Miller", by smoking cigars, grow a mustache wearing tiger jams once again and has converted the basement into his own "man fort". Bill, is trying to readjust to the mustache and cigars, only to find himself coughing heavily and the mustache itches. Judy while talking to Linda, has admitted to her that she has changed Bill, but Linda points out to Judy that he's changed her, so Judy decides to go out with one of her old friend Sandy on a girls night out. Sandy gets Judy drunk the night before Lauren's recital and the next day she has a horrible hangover. In the end, Bill and Judy find out it's best to leave some of the things they did in their younger days, in the past.
- Bill becomes inseparable best buddies with Linda's new boyfriend, which continues on the sly after she dumps him for cheating.
- The high-school football coach approaches Bill and Judy because he'd like Brian to join the football team. He would be a place-kicker and third-string, but Bill is delighted, as his son will be on the football team like he was. Judy's afraid that Brian will get hurt and she doesn't want Bill to pressure him into it. Brian isn't even sure about it, so Bill convinces him to play and says he'll always support whatever he does. At the football game, Bill discovers the perks of being a football parent, as does Judy. Then Bill finds out that what Brian really wants to do is join the cheer squad. Bill is crushed and embarrassed until he finds out that Brian joined the football team because it made his dad happy and they could have something in common but he would rather be on the cheer squad and there are good things about being part of it. But he isn't even sure he's good enough to make it, so Bill shows him some moves that might help.
- It would be the year to have Christmas dinner at Judy's parents' house except they go away on a cruise vacation, leaving Judy to think she can finally start some traditional Miller Family dinners at her own home for change, but she doesn't count on Bill's mom using emotional blackmail on him to get the dinner moved to her apartment instead. Meanwhile, Linda decides to help the downtrodden over the holidays by putting an ugly duckling from work through a makeover, and several unfortunate incidents keep Tina traumatized about Santa Claus.
- After Judy screams at the entire family because of a dirty roasting pan she intentionally left on the kitchen table (it's become a a week). She wanted to see if it would be cleaned by someone other than her. She says she does all of the grocery shopping, cooking and cleaning. Bill starts cooking secretly after he's been watching a late night cable cooking show, "Debbie Does Dinner"; Thing is, he's good at it but he doesn't want the entire family to know, since he would have to do all the cooking duties. Eventually, when he's found out, he takes over all the cooking to Judy's delight, since she doesn't have to do it and the family has been eating well. With Bill's cooking, there's a problem; When Bill starts putting on an apron, Judy is turned off, because when she sees Bill, she sees Mrs Doubtfire and she feels, that he's becoming less of a man. Now Judy is torn between his great cooking and her perception of his less manliness.
- After Judy expresses a desire to have a better relationship with Bill's mother, Louise dupes her into accepting a cruise invitation. Meanwhile, Brian and Lauren compete to be the entertainment at Tina's birthday party.
- Bill and Judy return home after a romantic date night and hear noise from the basement. Bill goes to investigate and returns to report that "Brian and Lauren's friends are down there" and adds: "I told a joke and cracked them up". Judy finds it odd, because "normal girls don't like Brian's friends" and, she points out, "no kids like your jokes". So she goes down with Bill in tow, looks around and sniffs the kids, but finds nothing. Then she accidentally bumps into one of the boys and hears bottles rattle inside his jacket. Lauren claims that the bottles are needed for a game of Spin the Bottle, but Judy calls her bluff out by spinning a bottle, forcing Lauren to choose between the truth and kissing one of Brian's nerd friends. Lauren confesses. The beer party is over. Brian and Lauren get grounded for two months. Bill and Judy have a talk with Ted and Kathy, the parents of one of the kids. Ted comes up with the idea of the parents setting an example for the kids by not drinking for one month. Bill and Judy are reluctant to commit to the idea. Some time later, Brian overhears Judy telling Bill that the other parents have agreed to not drink for a month and claiming that they too could do it, if they wanted. He tells this to Lauren and they both laugh at their parents. Then Linda points out that they do drink too much in front of the kids. So Bill and Judy announce to Brian and Lauren that they will abstain from drinking for a whole month. Not as easy as they think it will be...
- Bill tries to spend more father-son time with Brian by teaching him how to drive.
- Bill takes Brian out to a gentlemen's club for his 18th birthday, but worries when Brian starts spending all his time there. Meanwhile, Linda regrets giving Lauren a poem for her homework when it may end up winning an award.
- Lauren is promoted to Honors Science, but Bill and Judy do her assignments.
- Judy sees how fast the kids are growing up and wants to create a family night. However Bill's bowling team tryout causes complications.
- Bill learns. to his disappointment, that Brian is a vice president of the school kite club. Bill also notices that Lauren's friend Chris is hanging around in their living room a lot. On Lauren's request, he retreats to upstairs. When Bill comes down for a snack after midnight, he catches Chris sneaking out and flips out even though Chris claims that he did "nothing" with Lauren. Judy arrives to calm Bill down and has a discussion with him. She trusts Lauren and Chris, but Bill claims that Chris's lesbian mothers have an undesirable influence on him. So they visit their neighbors in order to get them to help keep an eye on Chris, but they have an unwavering trust on their boy. Judy then suggests that Bill try to bond with Chris and earn his respect, which would make him respect Lauren as well. But how to bond?