Execrable, even though Fast, Furious and/or Foldable
I'm the naysayer on these, I reckon, even though they usually belong in high profiles with swell ratings from avowed admirers
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- StarsMichel MelamedMaria Fernanda CândidoLetícia PersilesBased on the famous Brazilian novel Dom Casmurro by Machado De Assis, Capitu was a miniseries that gave a more theatrical look at the book's history, focusing on the insane mind of Bento Santiago and his love/hate relationship with Capitu.¨Based¨ (in the worst possible sense) on the classic novel Dom Casmurro, ¨Capitu¨ is a pseudo-theatricalization of the book, introducing an invented mental insanity into the protagonist Bentinho, and reversing the latter's love for his beloved wife Maria Capitolina into a kind of hate relationship. The ¨director¨ Carvalho (who BTW was never related to the renowned philosopher Olavo de Carvalho) is a specialist in pseudo-genialities. He also perpetrated ¨Hoje É Dia de Maria,¨ ¨Lavoura Arcaica¨. Capitu had been filmed before by Paulo Sarraceni (with his wife Isabela in the title role) yet with mediocre results as well.
- CreatorPaul T. ScheuringStarsDominic PurcellWentworth MillerAmaury NolascoA structural engineer installs himself in a prison he helped design, in order to save his falsely accused brother from a death sentence by breaking themselves out from the inside.A man robs a bank. To get rich? No. Why then? In order to get inside the walls of a high security prison. Really, why does he do this? In order to break out but then together with his innocent brother. How on earth could he be able to do this? Well, you aren't going to guess: he helped designing the prison. Furthermore, he got all the blueprints tattooed on his body! In terms of the plot, this synopsis serves as a real warning. What kind of series could succeed starting from such an abstruse anecdotal premise? I presume I'm not an idiot. I'm therefore annoyed when I see supposedly smart people making idiotic, untimely decisions. Sorry, I just couldn't suspend my defaulting disbelief.
- DirectorJames CameronStarsArnold SchwarzeneggerLinda HamiltonEdward FurlongA cyborg, identical to the one who failed to kill Sarah Connor, must now protect her ten year old son John from an even more advanced and powerful cyborg.Franchisewise, Terminator II is of course a bridge between I and III. Entertainmentwise, it is merely a bridge from humdrum to nowhere. BTW Every other release is now a movie that is either a sequel or part of a major franchise. People complain a lot about the industry being nothing but reboots, rehashes, remakes, and sequels, but, as the box office shows, people are indeed pretty happy heading out to them. Why is that? I'm not happy. It is a taste thing (I hated Terminator II), but actually much more of a big picture thing. Franchises changed the Industry: Avengers, Infinity War, Black Panther, Captain America, Black Widow, Walt Disney Studios. Hollywood studios have always been a business, but it's in the last few years, where they have become part of big conglomerates, that have shareholders and must answer to Wall Street, that the studios have become risk averse to the point of only putting money behind big films. Nowadays, the studios only do award-baiting, artsy films, or 200 million dollar blockbusters. Most studios only look for blockbusters that can make more than 200 million at the box office, while there are no middle-cost productions, where new directors and actors can tell different, unique stories. In a nutshell, it is Money Over Art.
- DirectorJonathan DemmeStarsDavid ByrneBernie WorrellAlex WeirConsidered by critics as the greatest concert film of all time, the live performance was shot over the course of three nights at Hollywood's Pantages Theater in December of 1983 and features Talking Heads' most memorable songs.As you'll probably guess, pal, I hate this group. Yet , as incredible as it seems, dude, fans & critics love them. Music is highly unoriginal, man! It's rather a pop rehash whose Scottish front man has as much charisma as any face in the rock crowd. I do recommend, however, the following six rockumentaries: (i) Whats Happening, The Beatles in the United States; (ii) The T. A. M. I. Show; (iii) Get Back; (iv) The Kids Are Alright; (v) Gimme Shelter; (vi) Woodstock. As to director Demme, can he be the same man who directed The Silence of the Lambs, Philadelphia , Rachel Getting Married (2008) and The Manchurian Candidate (2004)?
- CreatorMark FrostDavid LynchStarsKyle MacLachlanSheryl LeeMichael HorsePicks up 25 years after the inhabitants of a quaint northwestern town are stunned when their homecoming queen is murdered.Not like the first TP, or Fire Walk with Me. This is sheer nonsense and no rhythm: unbearable, charmless and humorless, with countless new characters and confusing plots that do not connect with each other. Ridiculous dialogue and too much Actors Studio Method also aggravate the nightmare. The action does NOT occur in Twin Peaks. It is a surrealistic and abstract collage of images that lack consistency. What nonsense is this of a zombie for protagonist? All this "symbolism" is agonizing, pseudo-sixties. What sounded at first like a great idea - to reinvigorate an icon from the '90s - has not returned what it was permissible to expect.
- DirectorLuc BessonStarsJean RenoGary OldmanNatalie Portman12-year-old Mathilda is reluctantly taken in by Léon, a professional assassin, after her family is murdered. An unusual relationship forms as she becomes his protégée and learns the assassin's trade.New York's top hit man becomes the unwilling guardian of his next-door neighbors' 12-year-old daughter and helps her track the psychotic agent who murdered her family so she can exact her revenge. Mathilda discovers that Leon is illiterate and teaches him to write.
The corrupt police know that there is another daughter, and thus it is not safe for Leon and Mathilda to live in Leon's apartment. They start a life on the run in New York, and the killers get ever closer. Finally, the inevitable hour of reckoning occurs.
Even though Leon is an assassin, he is a sensitive and vulnerable person, and Mathilda touches every chord in him.
I do know what to make of this movie. I'm pretty sure it's bad. Let me discriminate thus:
Concept: D
Story: C
Characters: B
Dialogue: D
Pacing: B
Cinematography: C
Special effects/design: B
Acting: C
Music: D
Enjoyment: B
GPA: 3.4/10 - DirectorJames CameronStarsSigourney WeaverMichael BiehnCarrie HennDecades after surviving the Nostromo incident, Ellen Ripley is sent out to re-establish contact with a terraforming colony but finds herself battling the Alien Queen and her offspring.An Oscar for Sigourney Weaver re-doing the same role as before!? But ain't this an action flick? Not even with a fast-moving plot ? even though it contains the usual scenes of violence?
- DirectorDziga VertovStarsMikhail KaufmanElizaveta SvilovaA man travels around a city with a camera slung over his shoulder, documenting urban life with dazzling invention.A tree. A baby. Machinery. A basketball match. An old lady. Homeless people. Piles of smoke. A busy street. The merry-go-round. A cinema. Another homeless person asleep. A woman who dresses up. In a nutcase, everything is incredibly annoying. This film did not invent the jump cut, the 'montage of attractions,' or the Gestalt-like editing practice. Its 65 minutes seem like 6.5 hours of pure boredom. A waste of time, therefore. A bad example of what has since been labeled 'precursor,' even 'inventive historical classicism.' It's just a succession of random shots, taken by a leisurely director who, in his free time, vaguely edited it. It tried to capture the feel and rhythms of a modern city (Moscow) as well as the joy of living and working in the Worker's Paradise. Stylistically and modernly speaking, the closest comparison would be, for example, with Koyannisqqatsi or Arne Sucksdorf's Rhythms of a City. But Vertov suffers by comparison with any other documentary filmmaker. He is far from being a "must" for filmmakers or film buffs. A revolutionary film? Absolutely not. It did not represent any advance. Berlin: the Symphony of the City, dated 1927, or Joris Ivens' Rain, dated 1929, would best qualify for such epithet, and yet that would be an exaggeration. A documentary? There is a great difference between documentary and propaganda. A documentary generally shows life as it is, while propaganda shows what a filmmaker wants to show in order to make a point and convince others of some idea (usually political or economical). Vertov is frank propaganda. His concept of artistic social responsibility was derived from Stalinist notions and later incorporated into Nazi concepts. His goal was to glorify the Soviet regime. In 1929 Stalin consolidated his power in Russia and was about to embark on what was one of the most brutal and bloody regimes in history. Vertov perhaps did not know then whereto the regime would lead, but he did continue to make films that praised Stalin (Kolybelnaya, for example). Let no artist be condemned just for working for the state. I like Eisenstein, for example. If you must rent and watch The Man With a Movie Camera, do it with a solid perspective, regardless of... taste.
- CreatorStephen Adly GuirgisBaz LuhrmannStarsJustice SmithShameik MooreHerizen F. GuardiolaA ragtag group of teenagers run wild in the streets of the Bronx in the late 1970s.The name Baz Luhrmann instantly puts me off. And I was 100% right once again, This is a carnival parade without Red Mills, yet with lousy acting, over the top camp scenes, ridiculous tai-chi-chuan sounds and fake fightings. The editing is also appalling, as usual.
- DirectorWes AndersonStarsJason SchwartzmanBill MurrayOlivia WilliamsA teenager at Rushmore Academy falls for a much older teacher and befriends a middle-aged industrialist. Later, he finds out that his love interest and his friend are having an affair, which prompts him to begin a vendetta.This movie is about a 15 year old kid named Max in a private school called 'Rushmore' who gets a crush on an attractive 1st grade teacher. Ok, so some kid has a crush on a teacher. So he does a whole big stuff to get her attention. What's so funny about that? Why do people call this witty?
- DirectorLuis BuñuelStarsPierre BatcheffSimone MareuilLuis BuñuelLuis Buñuel and Salvador Dalí present 16 minutes of bizarre, surreal imagery.Rather [F]art , kinda The Emperor's Wiener Is Showing, than [7ème A]rt. Dog is just a collection of weird, disturbing images mostly remembered for the eye slicing scene, where the woman suddenly changes into a horse or cow or whatever when the razor touches her eye. I'm not sure if it was intentional or just a crappy special 1920s effect. Mind you, Salvador Dalí is a con-man highly appreciated by art historians (except Herbert Read) while Luis Bunuel grew as an artist to the point of signing remarkable works like Viridiana, Exterminating Angel, Discreet Charm of the Bourgeoisie and so on and so forth
- DirectorSergio LeoneStarsRod SteigerJames CoburnRomolo ValliA low-life bandit and an I.R.A. explosives expert rebel against the government and become heroes of the Mexican Revolution.Sergio Leone only directed 5 or 6 Spaghettis, including this one (the worst). His best film (Once upon a time in America) wasn't a western at all. I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of him, neither of Rod Steiger (basically an uncle of Daniel Craig who put stupid, inconsistent, different bad accents in each movie, with a lot of hammy overacting. As to James Coburn's stupid fake Irish accent, it is nearly as grating as well.
- DirectorDavid LynchStarsBill PullmanPatricia ArquetteJohn RoseliusAnonymous videotapes presage a musician's murder conviction, and a gangster's girlfriend leads a mechanic astray.In 2023 ¨Everything Everywhere All at Once¨won 7 Oscars. My first thought was: was hasn't David Lynch ever won an Oscar? His essays are far superior. This one, for instance, is an abstract, compelling erotic nightmare. It's an elaborate hallucination that echoes the perversity of "Blue Velvet," Eraserhead, The Elephant Man and so on and so forth. As much as ¨Everything Everywhere All at Once¨ this is sheer, soulless self-indulgence that surely ¨sounds¨ profound. As Roger Ebert put it, ¨It's a shaggy ghost story, an exercise in style, a film made with a certain breezy contempt for audiences.¨
- DirectorWilliam WylerStarsGreer GarsonWalter PidgeonTeresa WrightA British family struggles to survive the first months of World War II.Amazingly it won six Oscars including Best Picture, it was a huge hit and it's yet much loved by many. I wasn't born then. But, sorry, this is no more than a sappy, dull movie, hopelessly out of key with its time. It can only appeal to Americans who ignore their WWII History.
- DirectorPark Chan-wookStarsSong Kang-hoShin Ha-kyunBae DoonaA recently laid off factory worker kidnaps his former boss' friend's daughter, hoping to use the ransom money to pay for his sister's kidney transplant.This is part of the ¨Revenge¨trilogy.¨Worse than Oldboy. Also 100% repulsive, also slowly degenerating into a gory revenge tragedy that is never thrilling, but rather boring.
- DirectorJane CampionStarsHolly HunterHarvey KeitelSam NeillIn the mid-19th century a mute woman is sent to New Zealand along with her young daughter and prized piano for an arranged marriage to a farmer, but is soon lusted after by a farm worker.An Oscar to Holly is just the customary, bland idiotic award for disabled characters («The Speech of the king », « Ray », « Shine », « Forrest Gump », « Philadelphia », « Scent of a woman », « My left foot », « Rain man » and so on and so forth). As to the screenplay, if the acting is so-so, it's yet wasted on an incredibly stupid script: intentionally dark, sufficiently dreary, unitentionally unrealistic and untimely slow.
- DirectorSteve McQueenStarsMichael FassbenderCarey MulliganJames Badge DaleA sex addict's carefully cultivated private life falls apart after his sister arrives for an indefinite stay.Ed Gonzalez of the Slant Magazine summed it up: ¨Shame articulates a shallow, even mundane, understanding of an uninteresting man's sex addiction-in a vibrant city rendered dull and anonymous.¨
- DirectorMatt RossStarsViggo MortensenGeorge MacKaySamantha IslerIn the forests of the Pacific Northwest, a father devoted to raising his six kids with a rigorous physical and intellectual education is forced to leave his paradise and enter the world, challenging his idea of what it means to be a parent.If I only were by myself, I would certainly have gotten out of the theater during the first half hour, because overall this film (which has neither a captain nor anything fantastic) is slow, boring, presumptuous and above all ultra-irritating. To dispute several Oscars re 2016 was an obvious prank from the activist Academy that decided to combat the "trumpamaro chaos" that now prevails in the US. But the film serves to lift & renew some real emotions - of disgust, basically - as well as to uplift that old, picturesque discussion on what would be a right-wing, a center or a left-wing film. The "author's message" says that the anti-hero proves social Darwinism as he proves to be a fittest survivor who trains the family to survive "savage capitalism." In fact, I do not condemn, on the contrary I do approve homeschooling. However, how to promote homeschooling without resources like labs and computers in order to properly prepare the offspring for a future where high technology will be ubiquitous? An all-knowing, adult educated daddy who encourages and trains his children to steal would hardly qualify as civilized. The production, of course, can be labeled far-left (it's nihilist, trotskyist, anarchist, anti-Christian, libertarian, etc.) but one must always distinguish between leftward and simply sinister films...
- DirectorYasujirô OzuStarsKeiji SadaYoshiko KugaChishû RyûTwo boys begin a silence strike to press their parents into buying them a television set.Two boys press parents to buy them a tv set. Like all of Ozu's work, it shows an understanding of human complexity, simple wisdom, humor and kinda kindness. Ozu celebrates the bourgeoisie, at the same time criticizing deeply the tendency of "small talk" that dominate middle-class conversations. Nevertheless I never understood why Ozu always opts for contre-plongées, i.e. the simple straight-on, low angle for his default camera position. I usually get bored with it, I feel I'm inside the scene seated on a tatami mat.
- DirectorCharles SturridgeStarsAnn ArisLynda BaronSteven BerkoffThe story of how the 22-year-old Tony Warren conceived, wrote and fought for the record breaking UK TV series Coronation Street (1960).This is a kind of an account on the origins of the UK's longest-running tv soap opera. Well, I did live in London at part of that time, however my hours at the BBC World Service obliged me to work up to 7p.m. and there were no VHS devices at that time. In conclusion, I would say that Charles Sturridge's film is particularly, if not exclusively, of interest to Coronation fans. This is certainly not one of the worst films. It joins the list because it got a very high (in my view exaggerated and unfair) average score on this website
- DirectorGeorges FranjuStarsGeorges HubertNicole LadmiralAlfred MacquartBucolic scenes from the outskirts of Paris are contrasted with stark footage from slaughterhouses.A howling obviousness: this is a dated documentary historical record, as by 2023 no more do we use the pole axe or the pithing cane when killing cattle. Le Sang shows literally what used to happen in all the abattoirs at that time. Yes, the trade was ruthless, shocking, cruel. Franju tried to be lyrical and surrealistic. Buñuel was his favorite filmmaker. Now remember the shocking eyeball-slicing scene of "Chien Andalou" (which, as you know, was a dead sheep's eyeball) taken to the goriest consequences: Buñuel feels like child's game compared to what is shown in this shocking short. I'm not in favor of shock-for-shock, at least in art. I find it psychologically not-sparing, 99% of the times
- DirectorLindsay AndersonStarsMalcolm McDowellRalph RichardsonRachel RobertsAn ambitious coffee salesman has a series of improbable and ironic adventures that seem designed to challenge his naive idealism.Someone once said “If you want to know what Britain was like in 1973, watch O Lucky Man!" That isn's exactly true. O Lucky Man! was a political work, but didn't toe any party line. In 1973 Britain was either Harold Wilson or Ted Heath. She was either conservatively bourgeois or hedonistically promiscuous. The Lucky script is rather unlucky; It's not smart, unfunny, although unpredictable and full of prepared quotes in the dialogue. In a comparatively smaller scale, Anderson had beautifully handled “This Sporting Life” as a fine director, a quirky and bristly sort of an artist. In ¨O Lucky,¨ however, the man ran out of luck.
- DirectorHoward HawksStarsGary CooperWalter BrennanJoan LeslieA Tennessee farmer and marksman is drafted in World War I, and struggles with his pacifist inclinations before becoming one of the most celebrated war heroes.
Gary Cooper got an Oscar for the title role. I confess that my FIFTEEN best Cooper performances should rather be as follows:
1. Matar ou Morrer (1952)
2. O Galante Mr. Deeds (1936)
3. Vontade Indômita (1949)
4. Sublime Tentação (1956)
5. Marrocos (1930)
6. O Galante Aventureiro (1940)
7. Beau Geste (1939)
8. Adeus às Armas (1932)
9. O Sonho Eterno (1935)
10. Adorável Vagabundo (1941)
11. O Homem do Oeste (1958)
12. Desejo (1936)
13. O General Morreu ao Amanhecer (1936)
14. A Tortura da Suspeita (1961)
15. Vera Cruz (1954) - DirectorDavid FincherStarsJesse EisenbergAndrew GarfieldJustin TimberlakeAs Harvard student Mark Zuckerberg creates the social networking site that would become known as Facebook, he is sued by the twins who claimed he stole their idea and by the co-founder who was later squeezed out of the business.Despite the success of Facebook, Harvard student and founder Mark Zuckerberg finds his personal life in turmoil as he faces legal disputes over ownership of the site. In other words: a schmuck Harvard pupil becomes a schmuck billionaire. The biopic, however, is very well made. It kept me engaged and interested for two hours, which is really impressive considering the subject matter. But after it was over, I didn't find myself caring about it at all. Shall I discriminate?
Concept: F
Story: D
Characters: C
Dialogue: B
Pacing: B
Cinematography: D
Special effects/design: B
Acting: D
Music: E
Enjoyment: E
GPA: 2.9 - DirectorAlfonso CuarónStarsMaribel VerdúGael García BernalDaniel Giménez CachoIn Mexico, two teenage boys and an older woman embark on a road trip and learn a thing or two about life and each other.I hate this movie mainly for the strong porn scenes, but also because , as a comedy of morals, it's unforgivably unfunny