My Ranking of TV Shows
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- CreatorRobert D. CardonaDavid MittonStarsPatrick AllenSimon NashShaun PrendergastTugs follows the adventures and mishaps of two rival tugboat fleets: the Star Tugs and the Z-Stacks.10/10
Best quote: "The tugboat, for it's size, is the most powerful craft afloat. And the Star Tugs are the power behind the docks and waterways that make up the Bigg City Port. ...This... is TUGS." - CreatorVince GilliganStarsBryan CranstonAaron PaulAnna GunnA chemistry teacher diagnosed with inoperable lung cancer turns to manufacturing and selling methamphetamine with a former student in order to secure his family's future.10/10
Best quote: "B*tch!" - CreatorGerry AndersonSylvia AndersonStarsSylvia AndersonPeter DyneleyDavid GrahamIn the year 2065, the Tracy family run International Rescue - a top-secret organization whose ongoing mission is to rescue people trapped in extraordinarily dangerous situations using their advanced Thunderbirds machines.10/10
Best quote: "5! 4! 3! 2! 1! Thunderbirds are GO!" - CreatorGraham ChapmanEric IdleTerry JonesStarsGraham ChapmanJohn CleeseTerry GilliamThe original surreal sketch comedy showcase for the Monty Python troupe.10/10
Best quotes: “It’s…”
“Spam!” - CreatorVince GilliganPeter GouldStarsBob OdenkirkRhea SeehornJonathan BanksThe trials and tribulations of criminal lawyer Jimmy McGill in the years leading up to his fateful run-in with Walter White and Jesse Pinkman.10/10
Best quotes: “I AM NOT CRAZY! I am not crazy! I know he swapped those numbers! I knew it was 1216! One after Magna Carta. As if I could ever make such a mistake, never, never! I just- I just couldn’t prove it. He covered his tracks, he got that idiot at the copy shop to lie for him. You think this is something? You think this is bad? This? This chicanery? He’s done worse! That billboard! Are you telling me that a man just happens to fall like that? No! He orchestrated it! Jimmy! He defecated through a sunroof! And I saved him! And I shouldn’t have. I took him into my own firm! What was I thinking? He’ll never change. He’ll never change, ever since he was 9, always the same! Couldn’t keep his hands out of the cash drawer! “But not our Jimmy! Couldn’t be precious Jimmy!” Stealing them blind! And he gets to be a lawyer?! What a sick joke! I should’ve stopped him when I had the chance! And you, you have to stop him! You-”
“It’s all good, man.”
“Sir, can you tell me what you see here?” “Man… f*ckin’ a horse!”
“Jimmy, I’m sorry you’re in pain.” “You’re sorry. You’re sorry? You killed my brother and you say you’re sorry? Let me tell you something. The job offer, it didn’t upset me. It amused me. Big job at the illustrious HHM. A chance to play at the palace! Ooh, little old me?” “I was trying-” “You have no idea what’s going on! You’re a teensy tiny man in a teensy-weensy little bubble!” “Oh, Jimmy.” “Oh, don’t you F*CKING “Oh, Jimmy” me! You look down on me? You pity me? Walk away; that’s right, Howard! You know why I didn’t take the job? Because it’s TOO SMALL!! I don’t care about it! It’s nothing to me! It’s a bacterium, I travel in worlds you can’t even imagine! You can’t conceive of what I’m capable of! I’m so far beyond you! I’m like a god in human clothing! LIGHTING BOLTS SHOOT FROM MY FINGERTIPS!!!”
“Alvarez has been paying me for years. Years. But you know what? I would’ve done it for free, because I hate every last one of you psycho sacks of sh*t. I opened Lalo’s gate, and I would do it again, and I’m glad what they did to him. He’s a soulless pig and I wish I’d killed him with my own hands. And you know what else, Hector? I put you in that chair. Oh, yeah. Your heart meds? I switched them for sugar pills. You were dead and buried, and I had to watch this *sshole bring you back. So, when you’re sitting in your sh*tty nursing home and you’re sucking down on your Jell-O night after night for the rest of your life, you think of me! You twisted f*ck!”
“There’s really no need to-”
“Okay. Let’s talk.”
“So, you’ve always been like this.”
“Mr. Goodman, sit down and stay seated.” “The name’s McGill. I’m James McGill.”
“Fact is, Walter White couldn’t have done it without me.”
“Better Call Saul!” - CreatorMike JudgeStarsMike JudgeKristofor BrownDale RevoAnimated MTV series about two teenage heavy-metal music fans who occasionally do idiotic things because they're bored. For them, everything is "cool" or "sucks."10/10
Best quotes: “Now, boys, I know this will be very hard to get used to, but you have to understand that being in a psychiatric ward is what’s best for you.” “Uh-huh-huh-huh. She said “hard.”
“Would you like any fries with that?” “Uh… did I ask for fries …dumbass?” - CreatorJim HensonJack BurnsStarsJim HensonFrank OzRichard HuntKermit the Frog and his fellow Muppets put on a vaudeville show at their theatre, bringing in a famous celebrity to help out for each episode.10/10
Best quotes: “Just when you think this show is terrible, something wonderful happens.” “What?” “It ends.”
“This show is awful!” “Terrible!” “Disgusting!” “See you next week?” “Of course.”
“I liked that last number.” “What did you like about it?” “It was the last number.”
“How do they do it?” “How do we watch it?” “Why do we watch it?” “Why do you watch it?” - CreatorArmando IannucciStarsChris AddisonJames SmithPeter CapaldiThe Minister for Social Affairs is continually harassed by Number 10's policy enforcer and dependent on his not-so-reliable team of civil servants.10/10
Best quotes: “Hey, could you stop swearing, please?” “Oh, I’m really sorry, you won’t be hearing anymore swearing from us YA MASSIVE GAY SH*TE! F*CK OFF!”
“Come the f*ck in or f*ck the f*ck off.”
“Oi, Yoko Ono and the two remaining Beatles, piss off.” - CreatorRob McElhenneyGlenn HowertonStarsCharlie DayGlenn HowertonRob McElhenneyFive friends with big egos and small brains are the proprietors of an Irish pub in Philadelphia.10/10
Best quote: "You got to pay the troll toll if you want to get into this boy's hole!" - StarsWilliam ShatnerDavid TeschendorfDick WarlockWilliam Shatner hosts this television show, featuring dramatic reenactments of situations leading to emergency calls to 9-1-1.10/10
Best quote: "I'm William Shatner. Join us again next week for true stories... on Rescue 911." - CreatorAlex HirschStarsJason RitterAlex HirschKristen SchaalTwin siblings Dipper and Mabel Pines spend the summer at their great-uncle's tourist trap in the enigmatic Gravity Falls, Oregon.10/10
Best quote: “Hot Belgian waffles! Wait. I’m alone. I can swear for real! SON OF A-” - CreatorGerry AndersonSylvia AndersonStarsKeith AlexanderSylvia AndersonRupert DaviesThe adventures of nine-year-old Joe McClaine, who can have the expert skills, knowledge, and experiences of top experts downloaded into his brain by his scientist father, enabling him to become a secret agent code-named "Joe 90".10/10
Best quote: "Don't come crying to me if you get hurt." - CreatorGerry AndersonSylvia AndersonStarsEd BishopDonald GrayFrancis MatthewsIn 2068, the indestructible Captain Scarlet leads the agents of Spectrum in a war of nerves against the Mysterons from Mars.10/10
Best quotes: “The Mysterons, sworn enemies of Earth, possessing the ability to recreate an exact likeness of an object or person, but first they must destroy. Leading the fight, one man fate has made indestructible. His name… Captain Scarlet.”
“This is the voice of the Mysterons. We know you can hear us, Earthmen.” - CreatorDavid ChaseStarsJames GandolfiniLorraine BraccoEdie FalcoNew Jersey mob boss Tony Soprano deals with personal and professional issues in his home and business life that affect his mental state, leading him to seek professional psychiatric counseling.10/10
Best quotes: “The morning I got sick, I’d been thinking. It’s good to be in something from the ground floor. I came too late for that, I know. But lately, I’m getting the feeling that I came in at the end. The best is over.”
“Ma. I know what you did, Ma. Your only son. Your middle child.” “Look, she can’t answer you, her speech side has been affected.” “Yeah, my ass! I heard the tapes, Ma. The f*cking FBI tapes, don’t tell me you don’t know what I’m talking about!” “Sir!” “George Clooney, don’t get in the f*ckin’ middle of this!” “Alonzo, call security!” “Uncle June is in jail now. And I got one more little last detail I gotta take care of!” “Mr. Soprano!” “I gotta tell ya, I don’t die that f*ckin’ easy, Ma! I’m gonna live a nice, long, happy life, which is more than I can say for you!” “Alright, that’s enough!” “Yeah? I try to do the right thing by you and you try and have me WHACKED?” “She can’t understand you!” “SHE’S SMILING!! LOOK AT THE LOOK ON HER FACE!!! LOOK AT THE LOOK ON HER FACE! She’s smiling! Look at her face!”
“What’s the problem? What the hell’s the matter?” “No, please, go on. He can’t hurt you. Don’t be afraid. I understand. Yes. I feel your anger.” “Who the f*ck are you talking to?” “Charles. Yes, yes, you have a son.” “What the f*ck? I don’t got no kids!” “Oh, Sonny.” “Pagano?” “Kind spirit, is your name Sonny? Charles Pagano.” “How the f*ck do you know that?” “He says he was your first. But I feel many more.” “Hey!” “That one’s laughing. Poison ivy? He wants to know if it still itches.” “Don’t f*ck with me. Who ‘you been talking to?” “You’re gonna have to leave.” “Why? What the f*ck are they saying?” “Do you really want me to say it?” “F*ck you and this bullsh*t. Because that’s what this is, you know. Satanic black magic. Sick sh*t.” “I’m asking you to leave, sir.” “Yeah? *throws chair at ghosts* F*CKIN’ QUEERS!!”
“You’re not gonna believe this. The guy killed sixteen Czechoslovakians. He was an interior director!” “His house looked like sh*t.”
“This is like a f*ckin’ ad for a weight loss center. Before and WAY before!” - CreatorRod SerlingStarsRod SerlingRobert McCordJay OverholtsOrdinary people find themselves in extraordinarily astounding situations, which they each try to solve in a remarkable manner.10/10
Best quote: “You unlock this door with the key of imagination. Beyond it is another dimension - a dimension of sound, a dimension of sight, a dimension of mind. You’re moving into a land of both shadow and substance, of things and ideas. You’ve just crossed over into the Twilight Zone.” - CreatorLarry DavidJerry SeinfeldStarsJerry SeinfeldJulia Louis-DreyfusMichael RichardsThe continuing misadventures of neurotic New York City stand-up comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his equally neurotic New York City friends.10/10
Best quotes: “Hello, Jerry.” “Hello, Newman.”
“I have a bad feeling that whenever a lesbian looks at me, they think “That’s why I’m not a heterosexual.”
“You’re wasting your life.” “I am not. What you call wasting, I call living. I’m living my life.” “Okay, like what? No, tell me. Do you have a job?” “No.” “You got money?” “No.” “Do you have a woman?” “No.” “Do you have any prospects?” “No.” “You got anything on the horizon?” “No.” “Do you have any action at all?” “No.” Do you have any conceivable reason for even getting up in the morning?” “I like to get the Daily News.”
“Hi, would you be interested in switching over to TMI long-distance service?” “Oh, gee, I can’t talk right now. Why don’t you give me your home number and I’ll call you later?” “Uh, well, I’m sorry, we’re not allowed to do that.” “Oh, I guess you don’t want people calling you at home.” “No.” “Well, now you know how I feel.” - CreatorMichael Dante DiMartinoBryan KonietzkoStarsDee Bradley BakerZach Tyler EisenMae WhitmanIn a war-torn world of elemental powers, a young boy reawakens to undertake a dangerous mystic quest to fulfill his destiny as the Avatar, and bring peace to the world.10/10
Best quotes: “Water. Earth. Fire. Air. Long ago, the four nations lived in harmony. Then, everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked. Only the Avatar, master of all four elements, could stop them. But when the world needed him most, he vanished. A hundred years passed and my brother and I discovered the new Avatar, an airbender named Aang. And although his airbending skills are great, he still has a lot to learn before he’s ready to save anyone. But I believe Aang can save the world.”
“My cabbages!” - StarsMartin LandauBarbara BainNick TateThe crew of Moonbase Alpha must struggle to survive when a massive explosion throws the Moon from Earths orbit and into deep space.10/10
Best quotes: “We’re all aliens until we get to know each other.”
“You mean people killed people just because they were different from each other? That’s disgusting.”
“We are mankind. We came from planet Earth and we built this base called Alpha to learn more about space. But human error blasted this moon out of the Earth’s orbit. And so, we have traveled the universe searching for a place to live. Now, we can no longer live here, and we go to face an uncertain future on the planet that nearly destroyed us. You, whoever you are, who find this empty vessel of Alpha, come and seek us out, if we still exist. Come and teach us all you know. Because we have learned many things, but most of all, we have learned we still have much to learn.” - CreatorBritt AllcroftPhilip D. FehrleRoss HastingsStarsMichael AngelisKeith WickhamMichael BrandonThis series follows the adventures of Thomas the Tank Engine and all of his engine friends on the Island of Sodor.9/10
- CreatorGerry AndersonSylvia AndersonStarsRay BarrettDavid GrahamRobert EastonFollows the adventures of the World Aquanaut Security Patrol, particularly the crew of its most advanced combat submarine called Stingray.9/10
- CreatorBill NyeJames McKennaErren GottliebStarsBill NyePat CashmanMichaela Leslie-RuleScientist/comedian Bill Nye explores various aspects of science for young viewers.9/10
- CreatorEric KripkeStarsKarl UrbanJack QuaidAntony StarrA group of vigilantes set out to take down corrupt superheroes who abuse their superpowers.9/10
Best quote: “Well, well, well, if ain’t the invisible c*nt.” - CreatorDavid FineAlison SnowdenRichard StarzakStarsJustin FletcherJohn SparkesRichard WebberShaun The Sheep is a cheeky and mischievous sheep at Mossy Bottom farm who's the leader of the flock and always plays slapstick jokes, pranks and causes trouble especially on Farmer X and his grumpy guide dog, Bitzer.9/10
- StarsDerek JacobiGeoffrey WawroJames HollandA series of colorized archive footage of important events during World War II.9/10
- CreatorEric AndréStarsEric AndréHannibal BuressRobert SmithEric Andre tries to host a talk show in a bizarre environment, where he is sometimes the player of pranks and sometimes the victim.9/10