- [describing herself] A short, fat, homely piano player from Keokuk, Iowa, with no money, no background . . . who decided to become a legend, and did just that!
- Giving parties is a trivial avocation, but it pays the dues for my union card in humanity.
- I make enemies deliberately. They are my sauce piquante to my dish of life.
- Seeing unhappiness in the marriage of friends, I was content to have chosen music and laughter as a substitute for a husband.
- Under pressure, people admit to murder, setting fire to the village church or robbing a bank, but never to being bores.
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