- It used to be that the Catholics were the only ones to believe in the Immaculate Conception. Now everyone believes he is the immaculately conceived.
- The Rabbis and Priests and Ministers stopped talking about sin. The Jurists picked it up and turned sin into a crime, and finally Psychiatrists converted it into a complex. The result is that no one is a sinner.
- [on flattery] Baloney is flattery laid on so thick it cannot be true, and blarney is flattery so thin we love it.
- I feel it is time I also pay tribute to my four writers - Matthew, Mark, Luke and John.
- A bigoted man is one who refuses to accept a reason for anything; a broadminded man is one who will accept anything for a reason, providing it is not a good reason.
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