- The surest way to upset plans is to make them.
- I wouldn't be so condescending if people weren't such idiots.
- I'm always so surprised by the existence of other pedestrians who are always so surprised by the existence of other pedestrians.
- Show me a man who doesn't' suffer fools, and I'll show you a man who's lonely & unemployed.
- The key to a tolerable life is a relentless and unyielding avoidance of the chaos of others.
- Fathom this: now talk shows host talk show hosts, talking about talking and giving other people opinions about other peoples' opinions.
- Raising children is god's way of reminding you that you don't have to die to go to hell.
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