- Title Card: Angus McCheapskate - - lots of money with a zipper on his wallet that's yet to be unzipped.
- Angus McCheapskate: I'll make your daughter a fine husband. I only snore out the left side of my nose and need my feet rubbed twice a day.
- The Girl's Father: Dust off your bible and buff up your head... we're bringing my daughter over for a rush-order marriage!
- Preacher: That's the ninth marriage today... and all before breakfast! Wonder how many divorces I'll have by lunch?
- Policeman: Someone's sailing a runaway flivver! Set the bear traps!
- Preacher: Your father said you were coming. Congratulations... you'll be hitched in a hiccup.
- Title Card: Home of the girl - - She has so many suiters, her father is thinking of putting up a ticket booth.