Manhattan Parade (1931)

Winnie Lightner: Doris Roberts

Quotes 

• Doris Roberts : No, all the apostles are out for the night, Mrs. Weems. Charlie Chaplin will be in at six. Cleopatra's out with Lindbergh. Oh, I can let you have Madame DuBarry. But, that will cost you three dollars extra. You know, Madame DuBarry is generally ten dollars a night.

• Doris Roberts : Yes, that's what I said. A gross of tin pie plates for those Amazon costumes. We use the pie plates for brassieres. Huh? What do we use the brassieres for? What? To bake pies in, what do you think?

• Bill Brighton : Terrific pressure around here this afternoon.

  Doris Roberts : Pressure? The Bronx chapter of the Daughters of Rachel want a gross of Joan of Arc costumes, size 54.

• Herbert T. Herbert : You know that Lady Godiva? Not the one's that's dead, but, the one that wants to be Lady Godiva? Well, I called her up and told her what you said. I told her that Lady Godiva rode naked. Her husband's coming down to see me at 5 o'clock. What shall I do?

  Doris Roberts : Go home at 4:30!

  Herbert T. Herbert : That's a good idea.

• Paisley : I feel just like going out and committing suicide. After all, Doris, a person owes something to their artistic integrity. I can cheapen myself and prostitute my art for just so long. And, then, well, something snaps!

  Doris Roberts : What snapped this time?

  Paisley : Well, its bad enough for a sensitive person to have to work with these devastating brocades. But, when you tell me that I should use cerise and I know it should be maroon, oh, Doris, I wish I were dead.

• Doris Roberts : Will you be a good little boy and go back to work as a personal favor to me?

  Paisley : Well, if I answer - yes, can I have new drapes for my windows?

  Doris Roberts : You can decorate your whole office - three feet thick!

  Paisley : Oh, Doris! Doris! You're a perfect dear. You're just ducky!

• John Roberts : Running a business is a man's job. Running a home and taking care of a baby is a woman's job.

  Doris Roberts : But, dear, I can't be in two places at once? I'm in this office 16 hours out of the 24 and...

  John Roberts : That's just it. You have no right to be in this office. You're place is at home with the baby.

• Doris Roberts : You want me to leave the firm?

  John Roberts : I insist on it, Doris. It's unfair. Absurd for you to get up early. Haggle all day. Go home. Night after night, exhausted. I've been thinking about it for months, Honey.

  Doris Roberts : But, I love the battle! We founded this firm together. Made a big business out of nothing, in our joint effort. Its been a real partnership. Just like our marriage.

  John Roberts : You're partner enough as my wife. And I want you to have the leisure. The fun that other women have. Stay in bed as long as you want. Go to teas. Play bridge. Entertain. Be a normal, happy woman. Not a machine!

• John Roberts : All right, Doris. If you insist on coming here tomorrow, I'll stay away.

  Doris Roberts : What do you mean?

  John Roberts : If you don't let me do my job alone, as a man should, we separate.

• Doris Roberts : If you want me to get out? Out, I go.

  John Roberts : That's a good girl!

• Doris Roberts : From now on, I can give all my time to Junior. It'll make the baby happy. And that's something.

  John Roberts : It'll make this baby happy, too. And that ought to be a lot!

• Doris Roberts : Is she pretty?

  Bill Brighton : Why, Doris, I don't know what you mean? Is who pretty?

  Doris Roberts : You men all stick together, don't you?

• Doris Roberts : Herb, give me a cigar for Mr. Vassiloff.

  Vassily Vassiloff : I never smoke! It makes my ears ring.

• Doris Roberts : By the way, did you know that Vassily Vassiloff is in town?

  Lou Delman: of the Avon Comedy Four : Who?

  Jake Delman: of the Avon Comedy Four : The name again, please. Vaseline?

• Doris Roberts : Let's not count our rabbits before their parents have met.

• Doris Roberts : If it were all so innocent, why didn't you tell me about it?

  John Roberts : Men don't their wives things like that.

• Doris Roberts : In the meantime, I'm still the boss around here. And what I say - goes! And I say: Get Out!

  John Roberts : That's fine. That's just dandy.

• Doris Roberts : Now, don't give up. We're not licked yet!

• Charlotte Evans : That double-crossing snake swore he loved me. Promised to divorce you and marry me. That was before I went to Europe with him.

  Doris Roberts : You went with him?

  Charlotte Evans : Sure, I did! I was crazy about him! And he swore he was crazy about me. Oh, I'm a good girl. You know that, Mrs. Roberts. Why, I'm just a kid. I'm only seventeen.

• Doris Roberts : I don't want talk! I want action!

• Woman in Charge of Fitting : Oh, Mrs. Roberts, these crinoline skirts shrunk so in the laundry, that we won't be able to use them. What shall I do?

  Doris Roberts : Have 'em dyed plaid, and we'll use 'em for kilts!

• Doris Roberts : You know that grizzly bear costume we had so much trouble making?

  John Roberts : Yes?

  Doris Roberts : Well, now the man doesn't want it: he's developed laryngitis and can't growl!

• Doris Roberts : Herb! Oh, Herb, come here. Tell the switchboard girl to call me in my husband's office, say it's Ziegfeld calling. Tell her to give me a dead line.

  Herbert T. Herbert : That reminds me: I called Ziegfeld once, but he didn't answer. That was the last time I ever spoke to him.

• Doris Roberts : Mr. Vassiloff, this is Mr. Brighton, and Mr. Paisley.

  Paisley : How do you do?

  Vassily Vassiloff : [with a supercilious expression]  I don't care to meet them!

• Vassily Vassiloff : [after having been asked to make a deposit on his large order for costumes]  I cannot spare the money!

  Doris Roberts : [a bit perplexed]  You said you had 5 million to spend?

  Vassily Vassiloff : [grandiosely]  I have everything necessary for a 5 million-dollars production!... except the 5 million dollars.