Monkey Business (1931)

Thelma Todd: Lucille

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lucille : Well, then, what do you think of an egg that would give me...

  Groucho : I know - I know. You're a woman who's been getting nothing but dirty breaks. Well, we can clean and tighten your brakes, but you'll have to stay in the garage all night.

• Lucille : But from the time he got the marriage license, I've led a dog's life.

  Groucho : Are you sure he didn't get a dog's license?

• Lucille : [talking to Groucho in the closet]  What are you doing in there?

  Groucho : Nothing. Come on in.

  [Groucho does his famous eyebrow wiggle] 

• Groucho : Oh no, you're not gonna get me off this bed.

  Lucille : I didn't know you were a lawyer. You're awfully shy for a lawyer.

  Groucho : You bet I'm shy. I'm a shyster lawyer.

• Groucho : Oh, why can't we break away from all this, just you and I, and lodge with my fleas in the hills? I mean... flee to my lodge in the hills.

  Lucille : Oh, no. I couldn't think of it.

  Groucho : Don't be afraid. You can join this lodge for a few pennies and you won't even have to take a physical examination, unless you insist on one.

• Lucille : So, here you are! Loafing around with these tramps!

  Alky Briggs : I tell ya, I come down to see Joe Helton.

  Zeppo : Don't you think we better go?

  Groucho : What? And leave this woman here alone with her husband? Suppose her sweetheart came in?

• Lucille : [Groucho makes a pass]  Oh, no, no, no, don't. My husband might be inside and if he finds me here he'll wallop me.

  Groucho : Always thinking of the husband. Couldn't I wallop you just as well?

• Lucille : You can't stay in that closet.

  Groucho : [emerging behind her]  Oh, I can't, can I? That's what they said to Thomas Edison, mighty inventor; Thomas Lindbergh, mighty flier; and Tomashevsky, mighty like a rose. Just remember, my little cabbage, that if there weren't any closets, there wouldn't be any hooks, and if there weren't any hooks, there wouldn't be any fish, and that would suit me fine.

• Lucille : Oh, Alky can't make a fool of me. I want to go places. I want to do things. I want freedom, I want liberty, I want justice...

  Groucho : Ta-ra-ta-da-da-... Madam, you're making history. In fact, you're making me, and I wish you'd keep my hands to yourself.

  Lucille : Oh, you know what I want. I want life. I want laughter. I want gaiety. I want to ha-cha-cha-cha!

• Groucho : Madam, before I get through with you, you will have a clear case for divorce, and so will my wife. Now, the first thing to do is to arrange for a settlement. You take the children, your husband takes the house, Junior burns down the house, you take the insurance, and I take you.

  Lucille : But I haven't any children.

  Groucho : That's just the trouble with this country. You haven't any children, and as for me, I'm going back in the closet where men are empty overcoats.

  Lucille : Oh, brown eyes...

• Lucille : [Sarcastically]  Oh, you were going to show me a good time. A good time! Well, I might as well had stayed home and played solitaire!

• Lucille : Now, listen to me, Mr. Alky Briggs. You can't keep me cooped up like this. I've played second fiddle on this ship long enough!

  Alky Briggs : Now, you listen. I'm not after any dames. I'm after Joe Helton, I tell ya. And he can't get away from me on this boat.

• Lucille : What brought you here?

  Groucho : Ah, 'tis midsummer madness, the music is in my temples, the hot blood of youth! Come, Kapellmeister, let the violas throb. My regiment leaves at dawn!

• Groucho : Come here, babe, I like you.

  Lucille : Oh, I shouldn't. What about my husband?

  Groucho : That's alright. Maybe we can get a girl for him.

• Groucho : Do you rhumba?

  Lucille : Why, yes. Of course I do.

  Groucho : Well, take a rhumba from one to ten!