Smart Money (1931)

Edward G. Robinson: Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos

Photos 

Quotes 

• Snake Eyes - Porter : Who'll give me a half a dollar for my hand?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Uh, I wouldn't give you a nickel for your whole body.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Well, faint heart never won fair lady... or fat turkey.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Say, is that my tie?

  Jack : Why, uh... when I got up this morning, I sort of...

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Yeah, well, why didn't put on that new checkered suit of mine while you were about it?

  Jack : [chuckling]  Heh-heh-heh... It didn't fit.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [inquiring at cigar stand]  Say, uh, what are those things for?

  Marie : Poker dice.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Oh, you gamble with them?

  Marie : Yes, sir, it's a dollar if you lose, and if you win, you get $2 worth of merchandise.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [looking at her laciviously]  Anything behind the counter?

  Marie : [coyly]  Anything in merchandise.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Heh, heh, well, you're a cute little package.

  [he chuckles] 

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [leaving the poker game a winner]  Suntan, my hat, my cane, and my gloves. I heard that in a play once.

  [buttoning and tipping him] 

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Oh, here. Go with that as far as it'll take yuh.

  Sundown : Thank you, suh.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [to Sleepy Sam]  Well, Nick the Barber gave you a trimmin', hunh? Well, I'll be seein' you boys!

• Snake Eyes - Porter : Mr. Nick, there's a lady outside that wants to see you.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : How do you know she's a lady, Snake Eyes?

  Snake Eyes - Porter : Well, boss, she's got a skirt on.

• Greek Barber : Don't forget to remember, boss, lucky with the cards, unlucky with with the love.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Aw, that's a lot of bunk-a-roo. Don't you forget to remember, little Nick is - lucky with the woman too.

  Greek Barber : I don't know. Sometime you will pick the wrong filly.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : No. Not a chance. Nothing but favors - in my stable.

• Greek Barber : What's the matter?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Oh, just a dame wanting me to step out a little bit. Say, I've got holes in my socks from keeping skirts away from me.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : This town is gettin' soft for me.

• Snake Eyes - Porter : Mr. Nick, you shore is one lucky white man.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : You got car fare home, Snake Eyes?

  Snake Eyes - Porter : No, sir, I ain't boss. I ain't got a red cent.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Well, here, take this fin. Stay out of this game from now on.

• Sport Williams : Well, that cleans me.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : So, come on, move along.

  Sport Williams : Aw, what the...

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Come on, breeze! As you go out that door, take that welcome sign off it.

• Snake Eyes - Porter : Just keep that in your pocket, Mr. Nick, and you'll win for shore.

  [hands Nick a rabbit's foot] 

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Thanks, Snake Eyes. Say, I've practically got that big city sugar in my kick right now! Come here, give me luck.

  [rubs Snake Eyes black head] 

• Greek Barber : How you think you're gonna win, boss?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Why, I win so much you can send back to the old country for your wife and your sweetheart too!

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I'd like a heater, Miss.

  Marie : Heater?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Yes. A cigar.

  Marie : Oh, I've never heard them called that before.

• Marie : [pulling out a box of cigars from behind the counter]  These are very nice. I can recommend them.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Do you smoke them yourself?

  Marie : Oh, no, sir.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Say, you're a cute little trick. Anybody ever tell you that?

  Marie : Not yet.

• Marie : My, but you're lucky. Do you gamble much?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Oh, I take a little flier every once in awhile.

  Marie : For big money?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Do I look like a tinhorn?

  Marie : I should say not!

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Mmm. Not a bad cigar you sold me.

  Marie : I always say you can tell a gentleman by the kind of cigars he smokes.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Boy, am I itching to get into that game.

• Marie : I hope you don't think I'm butting in, Mr. Venizelos.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Oh, call me Nick.

  Marie : All right - Nick.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : That a girl! Say we're gettin' along swell, aren't we. What is you gonna say, baby?

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : What do you like to play?

  Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : Five card stud. How does that suit you?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : What's the limit?

  Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : The roof.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Fine.

  Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : Now, Nick, we're all friends here. Of course, we ain't playin' marbles; but, we don't want no arguments. Anything ain't right, you just say so.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Come on, Ace me, big boy.

• Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : Well, Nick, the luck's certainly run against you tonight.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Yeah, oh, it's just a manner of the breaks. Don't worry about me, boys. My brother works in the Mint.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : All right! All right! If that's the way you play in this town, I'll play you the same way. Only I'll play it in spades! And that means you pay double! Why you hustling little bag, I'll have you on your knees, begging for a cup of coffee. And as for that dope of yours, I'll run him right into the lake!

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Had any lunch?

  Jack : Not today.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : And here's two bucks. Now, put this on Flying Feet in that third race at Churchill Downs. And here's two-bits for your lunch. Now, go on, put on the feedbag.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I can pick mudders just as easily fair weather horses, anytime.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Now, listen you mugs, no use chicken scratchin' around. I got something to say to you, especially to you!

  Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : Sit down.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I've had some time to think things over. I'm gonna be a real sucker. I'm lookin' for evens. You haven't any objections, have you, Sam?

  Sleepy Sam, earlier mistaken for Hickory Short : No. No, sure. I'll play with you Nick.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Good.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Of course, you smart gamblers have heard of shaved cards. Well, Nick 'The Barber' can shave them a little closer than you can.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [on a train]  Here, George.

  George - a Porter : Thank you, sir.

  [Nick rips a bill in two and gives one half to George] 

  George - a Porter : But, boss, I can't spend no half bill?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Well, you get the other half at the other end of the line. If you're a good boy.

  George - a Porter : Yes, sir. I won't be good, I'll be purfect!

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Come here, give me luck.

  [rub's George's black head] 

  George - a Porter : Yes sir, you shore have luck now!

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Marie, open up the suitcase and hang up my checkered suit.

• Lola : May I have your hat and coat?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I'll give it to you this time. How are they treating you?

  Lola : Just fine.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : You're new here, aren't you?

  Lola : Yes.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Do you like it?

  Lola : Yes.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : You know who I am?

  Lola : Yes sir.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Now, eh, straighten that painting.

  Lola : Yes sir.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : [looks at her behind as she walks away]  Not bad.

• Girl at Gaming Table : I'm in an awful plight. I've lost all my money at the roulette table. And I wonder if you could lend me some to get home on?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Well, I don't believe in lending; but, I'll give you ten.

  Girl at Gaming Table : Ten? Oh, I need five hundred.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Five hundred? Where do you live, lady, China?

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : No woman will ever make a sucker outta me again! Nick is plenty smart these days. Yes sir!

• Jack : What are you going to do about that girl? Are you running a sanatarium?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Are you still harping on that? Put on a new record.

  Jack : Haven't you had enough trouble with dames without going out and looking for it? I wouldn't trust any of 'em.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : You got to admit, they're awfully nice company.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Why don't you snap out of it. Say, your face is so long, I'd charge you two prices for for a shave.

• Irene Graham : I just wanted to thank you for being so kind.

  Jack : Oh, don't thank him, lady. He loves playing St. Nick for a dame. He picks up a fallen woman every week, just to keep in practice.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Aw, don't mind him. He's rehearsing a vaudeville act. And if he lets out one more crack, I'm going to bring the curtain right down on his chin.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Lady, you must have some cream!

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I don't suppose it's very easy for you girls.

• Jack : Well, I'm glad to see you get rid of that ghost. That dame gave me the creeps.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Now, you'd make a great copper. You can guess more right things wrong than anybody I know.

  Jack : Well, where is she then?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : In the bedroom, wise guy.

  Jack : Say, how long is this gonna last? What's the big idea? Are you going screwy?

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Why don't you button up! I'm only doing what any decent guy in the same spot would do. She'll be gone in a couple of days. And then you can be my sweetheart again, dearie.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : You look swell, baby. You got class! That's what I like about you. I think you're about the prettiest little thing I ever seen. And the sweetest!

  Irene Graham : I'm not what you think I am, Nick.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : What? Not sweet? Why, don't tell me. I know. Nick used to be a sugar taster.

  [laughs] 

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : I've always been a sucker for women.

• Snake Eyes - Porter : Take this rabbit's foot boss.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Not a chance. You gave me one of those once before.

  Snake Eyes - Porter : I didn't mean no harm, cause I loves you, Mr. Nick.

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Here's the way to give me luck.

  [rubs the top of Snake Eyes black head] 

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : So long, Snake Eyes.

• Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : Have a cigar, boys.

  [repeated line] 

  Nick 'The Barber' Venizelos : A fella in Havana makes 'em up for me.