Horse Feathers (1932)

Thelma Todd: Connie Bailey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Professor Wagstaff : You know, this is the first time I've been out in a canoe since I saw the American Tragedy?

  Connie : Oh, you're perfectly safe, Professor.

  Professor Wagstaff : I don't know. I was gonna get a flat bottom, but the girl at the boat house didn't have one.

• Connie : If icky baby don't learn about the football signals, icky baby gonna cwy.

  Professor Wagstaff : If icky girl keep on talking that way, big stwong man's gonna kick all of her teef wight down her fwoat.

• Connie : [Professor Wagstaff and Connie are in a canoe - a duck is swimming nearby. Connie speaks in a baby voice]  Is gweat big stwong man gonna tell icky baby all about the bad football signals?

  Professor Wagstaff : Was that you or the duck? 'Cause if it was you, I'm going to finish this ride with the duck.

• Baravelli : You sing-a high.

  Connie : Yes, I have a falsetto voice.

  Baravelli : That's-a funny; my last pupil she had-a false set-a teeth.

• Frank : Dad wants me to give you up. You know, you're interfering with my studies.

  Connie : Ha-ha-ha. He must think I'm terrible.

  Frank : But I think you're wonderful. You're beautiful.

  Connie : Are you making love to me?

• Connie : Oh, Professor, you're full of whimsy.

  Professor Wagstaff : Can you notice it from there? I'm always that way after I eat radishes.

• Professor Wagstaff : Who was that?

  Connie : The iceman.

  Professor Wagstaff : Is that so? Well, you can't pull the wool over my ice.

  Connie : Oh!

  Professor Wagstaff : That iceman stuff leaves me cold. And if I leave you cold, I'm not the man I used to be.

• Connie : [Talking on the phone to Professor Wagstaff]  But Professor, I don't understand.

  Professor Wagstaff : You don't, eh. Well, I want to see you. Come right over to my office. You can't? You're in bed? Well, in that case, I'll come over to your office.

• Professor Wagstaff : Listen, madame, you've gotta give my son up.

  Connie : Give him up?

  Professor Wagstaff : You can't take him from me. He's all I've got in the world except a picture of George Washington crossing the Delaware.

  Connie : But, Professor, I...

  Professor Wagstaff : Whatever you say is a lie. He's only a shell of his former self, which nobody can deny. Whoopee!

  Connie : Oh!

  Professor Wagstaff : I tell you, you're ruining that boy. You're ruining him. Why can't you do as much for me?

• Professor Wagstaff : Did my son tell you - you had beautiful eyes?

  Connie : Why, yes.

  Professor Wagstaff : He told me that too. He tells that to everyone he meets.

• Professor Wagstaff : Let's see. Where were we? Oh, yes, I was on your lap - and doing pretty well as I recall it.

  [Knock at the door] 

  Connie : Quick! Hurry! Get out! Hurry! And remember, stay under cover.

  Professor Wagstaff : You've got more students than the college.

• Baravelli : Oh, Professor, I no see you. What are you doing here?

  Professor Wagstaff : Nothing, right now. But, I was doing alright until you came in.

  Connie : Oh, so you know the Professor.

  Baravelli : Sure. He put me in business. He got me on the football team.

  Professor Wagstaff : Now all's I gotta do is get him off the couch!

• Preacher : Do you take this man to be your lawful wedded husband?

  Connie : I do.

  Preacher : Do you take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife?

  Professor Wagstaff , Baravelli , Pinky : We do!

• Jennings : Now look, all you've got to do is to get to Professor Wagstaff. He's got the Huxley signals and I'm depending on you to get them here before the game.

  Connie : Yes, but how?

  Jennings : You know how! Romance him, baby. Romance him. And remember, all you're to get is football signals.