- Mike Rossini: Well, how a nice girl like you happened to get hooked up with a mug like that?
- Joan Hawthorne: He isn't a mug.
- Mike Rossini: Well, how he happen to sell you that bill of goods? How you happen to fall for him?
- Joan Hawthorne: The Depression.
- Mike Rossini: You know, I had a hunch you wasn't married. That's why I made a play for you. And I still think you're pretty swell.
- Joan Hawthorne: You make it very difficult for me to stay, sir, unless you treat me like a cook.
- Mike Rossini: Well, I don't want to treat you like a no cook. I want to treat you like you was a, well, like you was a Mrs. Rossini. Yes, I"m a proposing to you. When I make up my mind, I make it up fast.
- Joan Hawthorne: Oh, you really don't mean that Mr. Rossini. I'm afraid your stomach's gotten the better of your heart.
- Mike Rossini: Why should a guy like that pass himself off to me as a butler?
- Flash: Because he's nuts! Or, maybe he wants to be near that tomato. You know some guys do very funny things when there's a lady in the case.
- Mike Rossini: All the time he was fooling around with her, he's going to marry this pain-in-the-neck, heh?
- Evelyn Fletcher: Well, of all the insane things, with the wedding a week away, he's fishing. Fishing, as long as I've known Jim Buchanan he's never been the slightest bit interested in fish. Why, he doesn't know a swordfish from a trout.
- Jim Buchanan: I'll see you tonight, won't I?
- Evelyn Fletcher: Oh, no. Not tonight.
- Jim Buchanan: Oh, why not? Let's, let's dine somewhere alone and talk.
- Evelyn Fletcher: Talk? About what?
- Jim Buchanan: About nothing. That's the whole idea. Or, maybe just walk in the park, hold hands and swing them.
- Evelyn Fletcher: Don't be boyish.
- Jim Buchanan: Oh, but where's the romance, the glow, the, I don't know, the silly, careless rapture that's supposed to go with the whole darn thing?
- Jim Buchanan: Any new tips on what the well-mannered butler should do?
- Jennings: Well, sir, it's mostly a matter of exercising good judgment. Except, no matter what you think, you never say it.
- Jim Buchanan: Oh, that's important? You never say what you think, but you do think what you say.
- Jennings: Well put, sir.
- Flash: [Joan, the maid, has just served drinks and is walking away. Rossini and Flash look longingly after her] Flash: If you was married to her, would you sleep on the porch?
- Evelyn Fletcher: [soon to be bride instructing her groom on the ceremony] And then you just keep saying I do.
- Roy - Pianist at Wedding Rehearsal: Until you're done!
- Mike Rossini: I hate to disturb your digestion, but I got to tell you this. Yer cook is in the jug - J-A-I-L - jug!
- Jennings: [Talking on the phone] I've just heard from him, Miss. He's fishing. Yes, Miss. Fishing for fish.