Our Relations (1936)
Oliver Hardy: Oliver 'Ollie' Hardy, Bert Hardy
Photos
Quotes
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[Last lines]
Ollie : That Laurel is the dumbest thing I ever saw.
Bert Hardy : The other one is too.
Ollie : You're absolutely right, Bert. Neither one of them can see any further than the end of their nose.
[Ollie and Bert walk off the pier into the bay. Fade out]
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Bert Hardy : Garcon? Garcon?
Joe Grogan : What do you mean Garcon? Grogan's the name. What'll you have?
Bert Hardy : Why, I'd like a nice, large, cold flagon of beer.
Joe Grogan : What's yours?
Alf Laurel : Bring me two nice, clean straws that haven't been used.
Joe Grogan : [comes back to the table with beer and straws] That'll be a quarter.
Bert Hardy : A quarter? What for?
Joe Grogan : Ten cents for the beer and fifteen cents for the straws.
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Finn : [hands Hardy a bill] Here, have yourselves a fling.
Bert Hardy : A dollar? We can't do much flinging on a dollar.
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Mrs. Daphne Hardy : [Stops the desert cart] Pardon me.
[to Laurel]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Hey you, give me a hand.
[They each pick up a side of a giant birthday cake]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : One, two, three.
[... and drop it on Hardy's head]
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Happy Birthday, to you.
Alf Laurel : This isn't his birthday?
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Never the less - Many Happy Returns. Come on, Betty, this is final!
[Storms off with Betty Laurel]
Bert Hardy : What did you want to go help her for?
Alf Laurel : Well I didn't know what she was going to do.
Bert Hardy : That's right, you wouldn't.
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Ollie : I think I'll have...
Joe Grogan : I know what you two guys are gonna have...
[walks off]
Mrs. Betty 'Bubbles' Laurel : That's an awfully fresh waiter.
[Grogan returns and places a beer between Stan and Ollie. The throws two spoons and two straws on the table]
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Ollie : Stan took me to see and Punch and Judy show; I haven't seen one of those since I was a kid.
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Alf Laurel : Did you see what I saw?
Bert Hardy : Certainly, You know who they are? They're our twin brothers, Stan and Ollie
Alf Laurel : What are they doing here?
Bert Hardy : I don't know.
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Bert Hardy : Well, here's another nice mess you've gotten me into!
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Bert Hardy : Hey, Finn! Are you coming back?
Finn : I wouldn't say yes and I wouldn't say no. Oh, and if I see Alice and Lily, I'll give 'em your love. Maybe I'll give 'em a kiss for you!
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Alice : [to Ollie] Say, listen big boy, I don't think much of your taste. Ditching us for a couple of old frumps like these!
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : I beg your pardon! Do you know who you're talking to?
Alice : Ah, sit down old lady, before you fall apart.
[Sits down on Ollie's lap]
Alice : Now listen, cutie, I don't think that was very nice of you to walk out and leave us sitting here.
Ollie : [Stands up] I beg your pardon, madame, but just what do you mean?
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Finn : The last time I saw them they had no clothes on.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : They had no clothes on? Who is this man?
Ollie : I don't know, Mommy, he's an absolute stranger to us, isn't he?
Stan : He certainly is! Who am I - eh, you?
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Ollie : But, Momma, let me explain.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : Don't ever speak to me again - you overstuffed Casanova!
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Drunk : Hello, buddies. What's the trouble now?
Ollie : Oh, we just had a little argument with the wives.
Stan : Yeah, you see, they don't understand us. So we're going to teach them a lesson. Aren't we Ollie?
Ollie : Yes and we're going to stay out - all night!
Stan : Yeah, till nine o'clock.
Drunk : You know that's funny. I'm in the doghouse too!
Ollie : Well, we're all in the same boat!
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Alf Laurel : Well, what do you think we better do?
Bert Hardy : That's entirely up to you. You thought of a way to get us into this mess. Now, think of a way to get us out of it.
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Bert Hardy : [Stranded in a hotel with no clothes, Laurel suggests they dress up like the "fellas that look like Eskimos" in "Singapore" - using bed quilts and towels as their set of clothes] That sounds screwy to me. But, any old port in a storm.
Alf Laurel : It might be a good idea.
Bert Hardy : You've gotta be right once in your life!
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Alf Laurel : What'd he say?
Bert Hardy : I don't know?
Man wearing a Turban : Don't you speak Arabic?
Bert Hardy : Oh, no sir. We're a couple of Singapore Eskimos.
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Alf Laurel : Funny looking dames, aren't they?
Bert Hardy : I don't know. I kinda like that big, fat blonde.
Alf Laurel : The little one wasn't so bad.
Bert Hardy : They're cute.
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Bert Hardy : Hey, listen, sailor. Lay off of the blonde! I saw her first!
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Bert Hardy : What's the matter? We can explain everything?
Alice : You can't explain those two old cronies!
Alf Laurel : They're not old cronies. They're a couple of old welfare workers.
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Alice : Well, sit down and have a drink.
Bert Hardy : We will as soon as we get rid of these two old battle-axes.
Alf Laurel : Yeah, we'll soon get rid of them.
[the two old battle-axes walk up behind them]
Alice : Is that so!
Bert Hardy : Oh, we want you to meet the two girls we met this afternoon.
Alf Laurel : Yeah, Lily and Alice.
Mrs. Daphne Hardy : I know all about them - you ungrateful hound!
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Captain of SS Periwinkle : You double-crossing swab, give me that ring.
Ollie : Are you trying to frighten me? Go ahead, little boy, and peddle your fish.