A Damsel in Distress (1937)

Reginald Gardiner: Keggs

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lady Caroline : Keggs, repeat to his lordship what you just told me.

  Keggs : Very good, my lady. I have been informed by the cook, who was informed by the second footman, who was informed by the scullery maid, who heard it from the milkman.

  Reggie : You forgot the first maid, Keggs.

  Lord John Marshmorton : Will you shut up... Go ahead, man. What did the syndicate tell you?

• Keggs : I'm happy to relate that his Lordship gave more than 5,000 Pounds for that portrait.

  Gracie : 5,000 pounds of what?

• Keggs : Admission is one shilling.

  Gracie : Oh, well, we usually get more than that. But give us our shillings and we'll go in.

  Keggs : Oh, but, I don't pay the people, madam, the people pay me.

  Gracie : Oh. Well, then, give me my money back.

  Keggs : But, you didn't give me any money.

  Gracie : Well, that's not my fault.

• Keggs : Do you notice what that sign says, madam?

  [Sign reads: "Do not finger Art Objects."] 

  Gracie : "Do not finger Art"

  [giggles] 

  Gracie : Oh, I don't blame Art. If I were Art, I'd object too!

  [giggles] 

  Gracie : I don't get it.

• Keggs : I am happy to relate that his Lordship is the owner of no fewer than 15 hundred cows.

  George : Does he herd sheep?

  Gracie : Oh, George, you can't say, "Does he heard sheep?" You mean, "Does he hear sheep?" or "Has he heard sheep?" But you can't say...

  Keggs , George , Gracie : Does he heard sheep? No.

• Lady Caroline : A man of character, Keggs, should learn to control his passions.

  Keggs : Yes, milady. Thank you, milady.

• Jerry Halliday : Keggs, I have always felt that beneath that macabre exterior there lies a heart of gold.

  Keggs : Thank you, sir.

• Keggs : Hurry, Thomas.

  Thomas : Yes, Mr Keggs.

  Keggs : The bus will be here at any moment. We shall be over-run by the proletariat.

  Thomas : Yes, Mr Keggs.

  Keggs : Why they should want to pay a shilling a head to be led about like dumb animals gaping into the interiors of their betters is a thing I could never understand.

• Albert : Good evening, Mr Keggs!

  Keggs : You're uncommonly gay, young Albert. Any reason?

  Albert : Wouldn't you like to know?