- Carmelita Fuentes: Love is a wonderful thing! It makes your heart go bumpety bumpety bump... like a little baby falling down the steps!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Just a minute.
- Mexican Pete - the Wrestler: Who is this man?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh, pay not attention to him. He's just a foreigner!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: I'm a foreigner?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Shut up!
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Enjoying yourself, dear?
- Elizabeth Price: You're certainly not showing me the time of my life.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Well, I'm sorry, darling, but I'm afraid I'm a little bored.
- Elizabeth Price: Yes. Well, when you're bored, you're also very boring.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Are you ready to go home?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Yes, I'm ready. But, not to go home. First we gonna do what you call: kick the gong around.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Yeah, kick the gong - oh, no! Not what happened after last night. No, sir! Come on, we're going home.
- Carmelita Fuentes: All right. But, you know what I'm gonna do as soon as I get home?
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: No, what?
- Carmelita Fuentes: I gonna tell Dennis who took me to the baseball game and I'm gonna tell him who took me took me to the wrestling matches.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Well, maybe we can give the gong a little tinkle.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Have you been drinking?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Only champagne.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Champagne?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh, yes! Regards. Makes you feel wonderful.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Well, you don't look wonderful.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Well, I do! I feel like a thousand canaries were picking birdseed off of me!
- Carmelita Fuentes: Do you know Dennis Lindsay? Well, he's in love with me; but, he doesn't know it yet.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Marriage is like a mousetrap - easy to get in but hard to get out. And the husband is the piece of cheese. Look at me, Matthew "Camembert" Lindsay.
- Carmelita Fuentes: [singing] Two hearts in one while they play, Ah-ha! Two hearts in one while they sway, Ah-ha! Now is the time to be gay...
- Elizabeth's Friend: Don't tell that's the kind of a wife you're going to be.
- Elizabeth Price: Before you train a man, you have to catch him.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh! You long eared, no brain, donkey! Couldn't you see I was working here? You fool! Stupido American!
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh! You think it's funny, heh?
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: I never saw anybody get so mad so quick.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Hmmph! I'm surprised you're staying to hear me sing.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Oh, I can stand anything for this. I could eat my weight in hot tamales.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Hmmph!
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: This is Miss Price, my fiancée.
- Elizabeth Price: [not smiling] Charmed I'm sure.
- Carmelita Fuentes: [smiling] I'm charming too!
- Carmelita Fuentes: I have a little surprise for you! Miss Nippy Nose! You just blind as a bat. You don't even know where you are. You think somebody else loves you, don't you? Ho-ho. Well, someday maybe you wake up! If you had two ideas in your head, instead of two tiny little stones, you could see he loves me! Not you! And that's the truth!
- Carmelita Fuentes: Buenos Días, Señor.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: What are you gonna do?
- Carmelita Fuentes: I said, Good Morning!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Oh, good morning, good morning, good morning.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: I don't even know who you are.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Me too! I don't even now who you are.
- Carmelita Fuentes: I came home with Dennis last night.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: You did!
- Carmelita Fuentes: Yes!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: That's not going to help Elizabeth's blood pressure. You better get your coat and hat and get out of here! Come on.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh, no! I am the singer from Mexico.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Oh, I see! I thought, maybe, he, eh...
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh! If you could only understand in English what I think of you in Spanish! Ahhh! Ahhh!
- San Proximo Hotel Proprietor: You have a little argument with Carmelita last night, huh?
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Yeah, but, you can charge those pots up to me.
- San Proximo Hotel Proprietor: Señor, I tell you something, Carmelita, she have very hot temper.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Oh, is that what it was?
- San Proximo Hotel Proprietor: Mmm-hmm. She lose control.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Look. It says here that he owns a big restaurant. He has a hot spot!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Yeah, I know, but the hot spot is *cold* in the daytime.
- Carmelita Fuentes: I warm it up!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Who won?
- Carmelita Fuentes: I did!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Well, what is this all about?
- Carmelita Fuentes: I don't have to work for Dennis any more. Dennis can go poof!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: I know he can go poof; but, what is it all about?
- Carmelita Fuentes: I gonna sing here tonight. I gonna work here!
- Carmelita Fuentes: [laughing] Dennis, what's a walf?
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: A walf?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Yes. And three little pigs.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: You mean, wolf! Big bad wolf.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh! Yeah. And who you think is hanging on his tail?
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: I don't know? Who?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Donald Duke.
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: That's Duck. Not Donald Duke. Duck!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: [walks in the room] Who me?
- Carmelita Fuentes: No, not you. You Mickey Moose.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Mickey Moose?
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: It's all right, Uncle. She's reading the Funny Paper.
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Oh, Mickey Mouse.
- Elizabeth Price: I'm sorry your wife couldn't be with us tonight, Mr. Ramano.
- Tony Romano: I'm not. We've been divorced for six months.
- Elizabeth Price: Oh, how nice for you.
- Tony Romano: We will get together. I know we are going to get along famously, Miss Fuentes.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Oh, we going to get along better than that. Please call me Carmelita. I like you!
- Tony Romano: Well, it's mutual. Thank you, Carmelita. We're going to crack a bottle of champagne for your success.
- Carmelita Fuentes: Ah! I'm for liking that too!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: Six-day bike races. But, you wouldn't like that?
- Carmelita Fuentes: Why not?
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: It's little boys on bicycles going around and around and around and around. It'll make you dizzy.
- Carmelita Fuentes: I am dizzy!
- Uncle Matthew 'Matt' Lindsay: You're tellin' me!
- Dennis 'Denny' Lindsay: Now wait a minute, I'm not through with you yet! Or, Romano, either, for that matter. Flitting from nightclub to nightclub, like a moth around a streetlamp! Staying out all night with some man! Drinking! Dancing!
- Carmelita Fuentes: And wrestling! Ah-ha!