Ball of Fire (1941)
Gary Cooper: Prof. Bertram Potts
Photos
Quotes
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Professor Bertram Potts : What're you gonna do?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : I'm going to show you what yum-yum is. Here's yum.
[kisses him]
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Here's the other yum.
[kisses him again]
Sugarpuss O'Shea : And here's yum-yum.
[gives a long kiss that knocks him backwards onto a chair]
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Professor Bertram Potts : Before we attempt to get back to work, I'd like to say a few words. You've been very kind and very tactful. If I may say so, over-tactful. The entire ride home in the car you avoided a certain subject to make empty conversation. Now let's have it out. I made an ass of myself and I know it.
Prof. Jerome : Oh, well, we all have, Potts.
Professor Bertram Potts : Yes, but I was the lead donkey.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : For instance, do you know what this means - "I'll get you on the Ameche"?
Professor Bertram Potts : No.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : 'Course you don't. An Ameche is the telephone, on account of he invented it.
Professor Bertram Potts : Oh, no, he didn't.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Like, you know, in the movies.
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, I see what you mean. Very interesting. Make no mistake, I shall regret the absence of your keen mind; unfortunately, it is inseparable from an extremely disturbing body.
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Professor Bertram Potts : That man talked a living language; I embalmed some dead phrases.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : [mistaking Bertram for a police dick come to take her downtown] Hey, how many of you are on this job?
Professor Bertram Potts : Uh, the entire project? Eight.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Oh. The other seven waiting outside?
Professor Bertram Potts : Oh, no. They're at home sound asleep, I imagine.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Asleep?
Professor Bertram Potts : Yes, they go to bed at nine every night.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : You mean to tell me with crime what it is in New Yor... Say, are you a bull or aren't you?
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, if "bull" is a slang word for professor, then I'm a bull.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : A professor?
Professor Bertram Potts : Of English.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : You, uh, you don't think we could sort of begin the beguine right now?
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, it's, uh, nearly one o'clock, Miss O'Shea.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Oh, foo, professor. And let's get ourselves a couple drinks, light the fire maybe, and you can start working on me right away.
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, I wouldn't think of imposing on you at this hour.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Listen, I figured on working all night.
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Professor Bertram Potts : She wouldn't say yes? What... Why, you very ugly young man, you know, to me, at this moment you look perfectly delightful.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : Richard ill. Who's Richard ill?
Professor Bertram Potts : Richard the Third.
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Professor Bertram Potts : We're working under pressure. After nine years of effort, we are, as the race track enthusiast might say, in the home stretch. Three more years and our encyclopedia will be finished. Let's not bog down in the middle of the letter S.
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Professor Bertram Potts : Sugarpuss, uh, before you go, would you... would you, eh, yum me just once more?
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Professor Bertram Potts : I've just finished my article on slang. Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books, eight hundred examples.
Prof. Robinson : Well?
Professor Bertram Potts : Everything from the idiotic combination of "absotively" to the pajorative use of "zigzag." I traced the evolution of "hunky-dory," tracked down "skidoo" from "skedaddle." Eight-hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the wastebasket. Three weeks work...
Prof. Robinson : You're hysterical.
Professor Bertram Potts : Outmoded... based on reference books twenty years old. Take "smooch," take "dish," take, uh...
Prof. Oddly : "Hoi toi toi?"
Professor Bertram Potts : "Hoi toi toi." Not one of them included.
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Professor Bertram Potts : Is that coming from next door?
Miss Bragg : It's coming from this door.
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Garbage Man : I could use a bundle of scratch right now on account of I met me a mouse last week.
Prof. Oddly : Mouse?
Garbage Man : What a pair of gams. A little in, a little out, and a little more out.
Professor Bertram Potts : I am still completely mystified.
Garbage Man : Well, with this dish on me hands and them giving away 25 smackaroos on that quizzola.
Professor Bertram Potts : Smackaroos?
Prof. Oddly : Smackaroos? What are smackaroos?
Garbage Man : A smackaroo is a...
Professor Bertram Potts : No such word exists.
Garbage Man : Oh, it don't, huh? A smackaroo is a dollar, pal.
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, the accepted vulgarism for a dollar is a buck.
Garbage Man : The accepted vulgarism for a smackaroo is a dollar. That goes for a banger, a fish, a buck, or a rug.
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, what about the mouse?
Garbage Man : The mouse is the dish. That's what I need the moolah for.
Prof. Oddly : Moolah?
Garbage Man : Yeah, the dough. We'll be stepping. Me and the smooch - I mean, the dish, I mean, the mouse. You know, hit the jiggles for a little drum boogie.
Professor Bertram Potts : Please, please, not so fast.
Garbage Man : Brother, we're going to have some hoytoytoy.
Prof. Oddly , Prof. Robinson , Prof. Jerome , Prof. Gurkakoff , Prof. Magenbruch , Prof. Quintana : Hoytoytoy?
Garbage Man : Yeah, and if you want that one explained, you go ask your papas.
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Newsboy : Four words, blitz it, mister! Blitz it, will you? You give me the mimis.
Professor Bertram Potts : Mimis?
Newsboy : Yeah, the screaming mimis.
Professor Bertram Potts : Extremely picturesque.
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Professor Bertram Potts : You have split an infinitive. Never "to carelessly expose." Always "to expose carelessly."
Miss Bragg : I'm not here to juggle words.
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Professor Bertram Potts : That maneuver down my spine was very unnecessary.
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Professor Bertram Potts : I've just finished my article on slang. Twenty-three pages compiled from a dozen reference books. Eight hundred examples. Everything from the idiotic combination "absotively" to the pejorative use of "zigzag." I traced the evolution of "hunky dory," tracked down "skiddo" from "skedaddle." Eight hundred examples and I may as well throw it in the waste basket. Three weeks' work.
Prof. Robinson : Potts, you're hysterical.
Professor Bertram Potts : Outmoded. Based on reference books 20 years old. Take "smooch." Take "dish." Take...
Prof. Oddly : Hoytoytoy?
Professor Bertram Potts : Hoytoytoy. Not one of them included. Living in this house cut off from the world, I've lost touch. And it's inexcusable! That man talked a living language. I embalmed some dead phrases.
Prof. Gurkakoff : But where are you going?
Professor Bertram Potts : Out to collect new data, to tap the sources of slang, the major sources. The streets. The slums. The theatrical and allied professions.
Prof. Robinson : Oh, now, Potts, don't you think that...
Professor Bertram Potts : I know it's regrettable, this loss of time, gentlemen, but it must be done. Leave the key under the mat. I won't be home before 9 o'clock.
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Professor Bertram Potts : Young man, what is the name of that young lady?
Waiter : Sugarpuss O'Shea.
Professor Bertram Potts : An astounding specimen.
Waiter : She jives by night. Root, zoot and cute and solid to boot.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : Suppose you tell the DA to take a nice running jump for himself?
Professor Bertram Potts : Bewildering.
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Professor Bertram Potts : I hate to intrude like this, but mine is a very...
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Cut the corners. What is it?
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, this inquiry is one of considerable importance.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Stop beating up with the gums.
Professor Bertram Potts : What was that?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Get this. I don't know from nothing.
Professor Bertram Potts : Oh, but you do. Every word you say proves as much.
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Professor Bertram Potts : You see, I'm conducting an investigation on current slang. Would you object if I used you for observation and study?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Yeah, I would.
Professor Bertram Potts : If I could have your assistance for just a few days it would be...
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Out, out, Professor.
Professor Bertram Potts : Then you won't help me?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : No. Out. Shove in your clutch.
Professor Bertram Potts : "Shove in your clutch." Exactly the kind of thing I want.
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Professor Bertram Potts : You see, the word "puss" means face.
Prof. Peagram : Yes.
Professor Bertram Potts : As for instance, sourpuss, picklepuss. Sugarpuss implies a certain sweetness in her appearance.
Prof. Peagram : Sugar, yes, yes.
Prof. Robinson : Never mind the etymology, was she...
Prof. Jerome : Was she blonde or brunette?
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : Scrow. Scram. Scraw.
Professor Bertram Potts : The complete conjugation. All right, I'll scraw.
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Sugarpuss O'Shea : If you want me tomorrow morning at 9:30, you...
Professor Bertram Potts : Oh, I do, Miss O'Shea. But, even the most free-thinking people must respect the...
Sugarpuss O'Shea : All right, feel that.
[sticks her bare leg up]
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Go on, feel that foot.
[Potts feels the foot]
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Okay, tootsie bell, what do you say?
Professor Bertram Potts : It's cold.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : It's cold and it's wet. Now, come here. Come here. Closer. Closer. Come on, give!
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Professor Bertram Potts : We'll call you a heated taxi and furnish you with woolen socks and warm slippers.
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Professor Bertram Potts : I don't think you'll find our venture dull, Miss O'Shea. The scientific conquest of an important subject is never dull. "Slang," as the poet Carl Sandburg has said, "is language which takes off its coat, spits on its hands, and goes to work." Let us - let us, too, then get down to work.
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Professor Bertram Potts : There's another word I'd like to take up now. It's recurred several times in our discussions and its meaning still eludes me. I think it was Miss O'Shea who used it yesterday in reference to the cuffs that I wear. The word is "corny."
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Yeah, wouldn't you say they were corny?
Professor Bertram Potts : Because of the cornstarch in them?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Because it's 1941.
Professor Bertram Potts : Then corny means old fashioned.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Kind of hick, loose-tooth.
Garbage Man : Mortimer Snerd. Oh, geez.
College Boy : There's other kinds of corn, too. When you give your girl your fraternity pin, well, if she says, "I'll keep it forever," - that's corny too.
Newsboy : Yeah or take a joke. "That's no lady, that's my wife."
Garbage Man : Making your baby's shoes into ashtrays. That's corn.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Right off the cob.
Professor Bertram Potts : Well, let's stick with corn. Is it synonymous with baloney?
Newsboy : No, it's anything that gets them in the sticks.
Garbage Man : "Long time, no see, " that's Indian corn.
Sugarpuss O'Shea : Yeah, when a guy comes to see a girl and says, "Let's turn off the lights, it hurts my eyes." Brother, that's corn.
Professor Bertram Potts : The implication is he's trying to pull some hoytoytoy?
Sugarpuss O'Shea : You're catching on, Professor.
Professor Bertram Potts : Countrified, old-fashioned, sentimental.
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Professor Bertram Potts : I draw a salary of $3,200 per year. In the last election, I voted the straight Republican ticket.
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Duke Pastrami : Don't look so big now, them eight big brains.
Asthma Anderson : Not to me they don't.
Professor Bertram Potts : You are under the impression that you are big because you have those firearms because you know how to load them and pull the trigger. It would be interesting to teach them the contrary.
Duke Pastrami : Button it up, understand?