- Japanese Governor: Why do Americans continually misunderstand us?
- Johnny Williams: I can't imagine.
- Japanese Governor: I dislike to say it; but, your countrymen are sometimes a little stupid. And I hope you will not be stupid, Mr. Williams. I will regret, deeply, having to regard you as a spy, rather than a friend.
- Major Bull Weed: I was trying to organize an outfit in Luichow. But, we didn't expect the monkeys so soon.
- Johnny Williams: Got a date with the Rising Sun?
- Major Bull Weed: Yeah.
- Johnny Williams: Me too.
- Japanese Governor: The execution of spies is an essential part of a modern warfare.
- Johnny Williams: Spies, eh? My mistake. I thought they were civilians.
- Japanese Governor: There are no civilians in China. That is a sentimental error Americans usually make.
- Johnny Williams: Would you mind telling me what I've done to get into trouble?
- Japanese Governor: You're in no trouble, Mr. WIlliams.
- Johnny Williams: No? Your boys came over to the hotel, opened my door without knocking, grabbed my camera, confiscated my film, picked my pockets, and gave me the bum's rush over here. Do you call that trouble or not? I'm only asking.
- Japanese Governor: There's some misunderstanding, Mr. Williams. I sent for you to be my guest!
- Japanese Governor: Flying Tigers are harassing us again. The gesture is so typically American. Blind and foolish. Japan is a friend of America! We are a peace loving nation.
- Major Bull Weed: [racing to board a biplane] Doesn't look too good.
- Johnny Williams: It came down in one piece, didn't it. Well, what can come down, can go up.
- Johnny Williams: They fix you up?
- Captain Fifi: Yeah. Two rooms. One for me and one for you and the Major.
- Johnny Williams: We'll discuss that later. What'll you have?
- Captain Fifi: That looks nice.
- Bill Jones: Another Shark's Tooth, here.
- Shorty McGuire: Excuse me, Madam. We're talkin' business. Listen, Bugsy, look at it this way. You're an American. You're a flyer. And you're broke. Right? And you're in Mandalay. Right? You hate Japs. Okay! So, it all adds up, don't it? What do you say?
- Johnny Williams: I say I ain't joinin' any American volunteers in Burma, China, or anywhere else.
- Shorty McGuire: Give me one reason for such a statement.
- Johnny Williams: How do you like that? You got to give guys reasons around here for wanting to stay alive. Listen, Lafayette, when I die, I ain't dyin' for China. I'm dyin' for Johnny Williams. And I ain't even doin' that if there's an angle out.
- Bellboy: Cablegram, sir.
- Johnny Williams: Thanks. I'll see you later.
- [bellboy leaves, reads cablegram]
- Johnny Williams: How do you like that.
- Captain Fifi: Bad news?
- Johnny Williams: The gallows.
- Captain Fifi: You can go on photographing.
- Johnny Williams: With what? There are three things a photographer's gotta have: genius, a camera, and an expense account. I'm down to only one.
- Jarubi: What? You gave your vases to that man?
- Miss Haoli Young: Do you know him?
- Jarubi: The scum of the universe! He has the soul of a flea and the heart of a toad.
- Jarubi: To me, a ruined country is a bargain counter. May I tell you what a great man once said of me, "When the world is destroyed, Mr. Jarubi will be standing undamaged in its midst, auctioning off its debris." An amusing picture, don't you think?
- Miss Haoli Young: I'll take you to your hotel.
- Johnny Williams: Do you live there?
- Miss Haoli Young: No.
- Johnny Williams: Let's go where you live.
- Johnny Williams: Wait a minute, stick around. I wanna look at you.
- Miss Haoli Young: Why?
- Johnny Williams: On account of you're so beautiful.
- Miss Haoli Young: Thank you.
- Johnny Williams: You've got a very pretty face. A little aloof, but, maybe we can fix that. You know what I feel like? Like I rolled a seven with one dice. The silent type, eh? Yeah. I like that.
- Johnny Williams: Well, that's interesting. You talk Chinese, eh?
- Miss Haoli Young: As well as English.
- Johnny Williams: Went to school in China?
- Miss Haoli Young: No. New York. Vassar.
- Johnny Williams: A Vassar girl! I like that.
- Miss Haoli Young: [after Johnny forces a kiss] You are very stupid.
- Johnny Williams: You don't like me at all, eh?
- Miss Haoli Young: Less and less.
- Johnny Williams: Come on, let's not have a battle of wits. Be human.
- Miss Haoli Young: You mean crude and cheap.
- Johnny Williams: I get it. You want a fella to follow you around with a fiddle and put you in the mood first. Then its all right. Well, I'm not good on a fiddle. You'll have to pardon me.
- Miss Haoli Young: I do.
- Johnny Williams: Thanks.
- Miss Haoli Young: I'm sorry you made me dislike you. I would have preferred to think of you as a brave and charming man.
- Johnny Williams: With a fiddle.
- Miss Haoli Young: With a little respect for himself and others.
- Johnny Williams: Okay, sister, you win. The next time I fall for a lady, I'll look it all up in a book of etiquette. Thanks for the lectures. Adios.
- Dr. Young: War is not the season for art. War is the Winter that human hate brings on the world. But, when its bitter winds blow over, there'll be Spring again. We must see that there are seeds to bloom.
- Miss Haoli Young: Mr. Williams.
- Johnny Williams: Got another lecture?
- Miss Haoli Young: No. You have no money. You take this for the taxi.
- Johnny Williams: I never let a lady take advantage of me. I always prefer to walk home.
- Johnny Williams: You go back and tell your Pa, for me, that Mr. Jarubi's got a brain made out of limburger.
- Johnny Williams: There's only one thing about a dame that's real.
- Captain Fifi: What's that?
- Johnny Williams: This.
- [kiss]
- Bill Jones: I don't know what's gotten into those buck tooth babies. All the sudden they start playin' hard to get.
- Johnny Williams: You look a little sad. You aren't homesick, are you?
- Captain Fifi: Homesick? For where?
- Johnny Williams: I don't know. Where you from?
- Captain Fifi: What does it matter?
- Shorty McGuire: You should've been around here a month ago. It was rainin' Japs. You know, there's a reason for them not fightin'.
- Bill Jones: Yeah, we've licked 'em.
- Shorty McGuire: We licked nobody; because nobody's been fightin' us.
- Bill Jones: They haven't, huh? I suppose that was 30 butterflies we shot down last month.
- Shorty McGuire: Last month ain't this month.
- Bill Jones: We run 'em off the road.
- Shorty McGuire: My point is they ain't started comin' yet. "We saved the Burma Road." I'll tell you what we've been doin', knocking out a few of their ham-and-eggers. The real McCoy ain't come into the ring yet.
- Johnny Williams: Ever been up in the Wang Go country?
- Captain Fifi: No.
- Johnny Williams: They get snakes up there with great big green eyes. Just like yours.
- Captain Fifi: I've done most of my crawling in warmer places.
- Johnny Williams: I like you.
- Captain Fifi: Snake fancier, huh?
- Johnny Williams: No, I like you because you're everything a woman should be: 115 pounds of crookedness and kisses with a laugh for a finish.
- Johnny Williams: How did the romance turn out?
- Johnny Williams: Flied out to center field.
- Captain Fifi: Ah, you hurt yourself. What a shame. Care to tell Mama about it?
- Johnny Williams: Next Tuesday. Mama got any cash on her?
- Captain Fifi: A little.
- Johnny Williams: I like a girl who's solvent. Waiter, a bottle of rum.
- Johnny Williams: What is it that's on your mind, Miss Young?
- Miss Haoli Young: I want to apologize to you.
- Johnny Williams: Is that so. For what?
- Miss Haoli Young: For letting you go.
- Johnny Williams: The principal rule is no lectures. You start that, I walk out.
- Captain Fifi: Have it your way.
- [long kiss]
- Jarubi: A year ago, Mr. Williams, I bought ten cans of film from you of the sacred and forbidden Oriental dancers. I paid you $500.
- Johnny Williams: Shut up, will you. I want to think.
- Jarubi: It pained me to discover that there was *nothing* on that film. Ten cans of unexposed, worthless celluloid.
- Johnny Williams: I've been chasing you out of my head every minute.
- Miss Haoli Young: I wouldn't let go?
- Johnny Williams: I'm new at this, baby. I never loved anybody before. Yeah, there've been lots of gals, you know the kind. Dames who'd kick you in the heart if you show it to 'em. So, you go along in a bullet proof vest and nothing gets through, only a hangover now and then.
- Johnny Williams: No Oriental conning, please. I got a rival, eh?
- Miss Haoli Young: Oh, no.
- Johnny Williams: Don't lie. It's a *big* one.
- Miss Haoli Young: You mean - China.
- Johnny Williams: Yeah, that's the party.
- Major Bull Weed: Yes, I remember now. He should me a book like that with Japanese writing in it.
- Japanese Governor: Did you read it?
- Major Bull Weed: No. He asked me to translate it. It looked like a military journal of some kind. I made out a couple of words. There was a number in it. Maybe a date, huh? "Seven"? And something about "pearl" or "pearls".
- Johnny Williams: I got the answer to everything. You know what's the matter with the whole world? People don't love each other.
- Johnny Williams: I got it all figured out. We're going away. I don't know where yet, but someplace were its normal. Maybe, Akron. Now, there's a town for you. I remember a house I always wanted to live in - on the corner of College Avenue and 10th Street. Well, never mind saying it. I can see the wheels going around in your head. East is East and - they never get together. Oh, hooey. We've met! You can put that chestnut on ice.
- Miss Haoli Young: Johnny, you make my heart hurt.
- Johnny Williams: Yeah. Everybody's heart hurts. Because, the world's going crazy. There's no room for living, only killing.
- Shorty McGuire: It can't be a dame. Nobody would pass up 20 grand for a dame. For 20 dames! Come on, is it a dame? Listen, Bugsy, if its a dame, you can put her on ice. A day on ice ain't gonna hurt any dame. It improves 'em!
- Johnny Williams: Go on, you're both alike. First, you double-cross me and then you come pussyfooting in here with a lot of double-talk. I wouldn't bet a dime on the both of you!
- Johnny Williams: What's the matter, partner? Ain't you havin' fun?
- Jarubi: In a way, yeah. It's difficult to imagine, sitting here, the world is in flames.
- Johnny Williams: Let her burn. Ain't our bonfire. Its a Chinese bonfire.
- Johnny Williams: Are you sure there's been no message for me?
- Desk Clerk: Nothing yet, sir.
- Johnny Williams: Something must have happened and me sitting here like Boob McNutt.
- Captain Fifi: You can cut Mr. Williams up three ways and drown the pieces in the Yangtze River for all of me. That phony! All I'm waiting for is for somebody to wipe that smirk off his face.