Albuquerque (1948)

George 'Gabby' Hayes: Juke

Quotes 

• Cole Armin : What's the matter with these folks? You'd think I had smallpox!

  Juke : Son, I'd rather have smallpox than the name of Armin in this town.

• Juke : [Holding a gun on the casino crowd]  Get back there, all of yuh!

  [Motioning to one of the men] 

  Juke : You too! This is private and poisonal between my friend and that scorpion there!

• Juke : [Ominously]  Sometimes dead men leave ghosts behind 'em!

• Stage Passenger with Juke : You and Pearl figure on holy matrimony?

  Juke : She don't like my whiskers.

  Stage Passenger with Juke : Then why don't you whack them off?

  Juke : Oh, Pearl wants me to, but I keep thinkin' about Samson.

  Stage Passenger with Juke : You mean Samson,the little tailor in Albuquerque?

  Juke : No, you heathen. Samson was a king. Lived in Egypt or Afrikee or someplace like that.

  Stage Passenger with Juke : Well, what about him?

  Juke : Well, he had a mane and whiskers just like mine. Strongest fella you ever seen. Pushed buildings over with his bare hands. Yes, sir. He had a gal, too, named Delilah.

  Stage Passenger with Juke : Didn't she like whiskers either?

  Juke : No, sir. Snuck in one night, clipped Samson slicker than a frog's belly. After that he was so durn weak, couldn't even break a toothpick!