The Kissing Bandit (1948)

J. Carrol Naish: Chico

Photos 

Quotes 

• Chico : Kissing is the best part of the job, because in California, all the women are beautiful. We got nothing but *beautiful* women.

• Ricardo : Chico, why did they call my father the Kissing Bandit?

  Chico : Oh, every bandit chief got a trademark. After every robbery, your father used to kiss the women - like you're gonna do. That was his trademark.

  Ricardo : You mean he kissed women he didn't even know?

  Chico : Sure.

  Ricardo : Women he wasn't introduced to?

  Chico : Oh, but you're gonna like it.

  Ricardo : Oh, no, I won't. Why, in Boston you don't even kiss women you do know! Not until you're engaged to them. Oh, no!

• Chico : Oh, you look just like your father. If I didn't know it was you, I would think it was him. You were *born* to be a bandit.

• Ricardo : My father, he did own the inn didn't he? He was an innkeeper wasn't he?

  Chico : Didn't you ever hear about him doing something else?

  Ricardo : Well, yes, I heard he had a little sideline. You mean, the little sideline is being a bandit?

  Chico : No, the sideline was being an innkeeper. The *main* thing was being a bandit.

  Ricardo : Oh, my. Oh, me. Son of a Bandit. That's terrible.

  Chico : But, you're not the son of just a bandit. You're the son of the Kissing Bandit!

• Chico : My life begins tomorrow. It's true there won't be classes or lessons; but, well, there will be new things. Things like - like romance.

• Chico : Aunt Isabella, look. Isn't he wonderful? You know, that's the way a man ought to look.

  Isabella : Teresa, I must speak to you. You've doubtless heard what he does. The Kissing Bandit, to women, I mean.

  Chico : Why, he kisses them.

  Isabella : Yes, well, it mustn't happen to you. Your father would never live down the disgrace. And so you're to stay right here and I will get out.

  Chico : But what good will that do?

  Isabella : Why, he'll kiss me instead. It's a sacrifice I'm willing to make for the honor of our family.

• Chico : Little one, I love you like you were my own son. This you know. But if I hear one more word about this girl, I'm finished with you. This I mean!

• Ricardo : But, Chico, she's so lovely. I had to see her again.

  Chico : In your business, you don't see anybody again. You kiss and vamoose. That's all.

• Isabella : Tell me, what's new in Madrid?

  Chico : [disguised as General Toro]  Madrid? Oh, the men are chasing the women. The women are chasing the men. The same as all over.

  Isabella : Ah, but they do it differently in Spain.

  Chico : They do? How?

• Chico : Chico, she doesn't like me.

  Ricardo : She doesn't like you? Who said she didn't like you?

  Chico : She did.

  Ricardo : She did? What does she know about it? Women always say no, as I remember.

  Ricardo : Well, maybe sometimes they mean it.

  Chico : Nah, Ricardo, listen. They always *want* to say yes. But when they are little girls their mothers tell them: "Don't make it easy. Make it tough." So, you gotta make eyes a little, flirt a little, waste a little time. Then they say yes *always*. This I do remember!

• Isabella : Oh, General, you're so complicated, so complex, so full of mystery.

  Chico : [disguised as General Toro]  Full of what? I don't understand women.

• Ricardo : He's been a bachelor too long.

  Chico : Nobody can be a bachelor too long.

• Chico : This is not a book, Ricardo mio. This is not a dream you are dreaming. But this is your life now, a bandit's life. Hard. Sometimes very short.

  Ricardo : But there are also good things in a bandit's life. Freedom, excitement and adventure.

• Chico : Do you know what I found in the treasury? Twelve stinkin' pesos - and, believe me, they look homemade.

• Colonel Gomez : Now I know who you are.

  Chico : [disguised as General Toro]  And I know who you are too.

  Colonel Gomez : Ever since you came here, I've been watching you.

  Chico : And I've been watching you too.

  Colonel Gomez : You have?

  Chico : Yes, I have. And if ever I saw a criminal face, you've got it.

  Colonel Gomez : Oh, no.

  Chico : Oh, yes! And if you don't keep out of my sight, I'm gonna remember your crime. Then you'll be sorry.

  Colonel Gomez : But, I didn't do anything.

  Chico : Yes, you did.

  Colonel Gomez : What?

  Chico : You know what?

  Colonel Gomez : No, I don't know. What I did I do?

  Chico : Yes, you do! And if you don't look out, you know what's going to happen to you?

  Colonel Gomez : No, what's going to happen?

  Chico : Oh-oh-oh, you'll find out.

  Colonel Gomez : But, I...

  Chico : Now, get out and don't bother me.

  Colonel Gomez : Yes, sir.

• Chico : I don't want the job.

  Don Jose : There will be a commission.

  Chico : Then maybe I'll take it.