- Groucho: If we got together as an act, what would it be called?
- Contestant: It would be Gonzales-Gonzales and Marx.
- Groucho: [to audience] Do you believe that? Two men in the act, and I get third billing!
- Groucho: May I kiss your wife?
- Contestant: That would have to be over my dead body.
- Groucho: Have it your way. Fenneman, get the gun!
- Contestant: [Groucho has just asked a question] Well, I believe in doing it the old-fashioned way.
- Groucho: [Groucho looks down and smiles. The audience begins to giggle. Groucho then looks up] You know I must have some reputation. There isn't anything anyone can say on this stage that won't evoke some kind of a dirty laugh from the audience...
- [trying to keep from laughing]
- Groucho: What do you mean, 'the old fashioned-way'?
- [loses all seriousness, doubles over laughing]