Watch the Birdie (1950)
Richard Rober: Mr. Hugh Shanway
Quotes
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Mr. Hugh Shanway : Naturally, Mr. Farns, the bank will want my report before granting the completion loan; I imagine that money's rather important to you.
Grantland D. Farns : Important? Without that money, we can't finish this project. You know that as well as we do, and a bad report from you might force Miss Corlane to sell out, probably at a big sacrifice.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : You do work for Miss Corlane, don't you?
Grantland D. Farns : Well, Mr. Shanway, I guess I'm like every other smart man in the world: I really work for me.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : [horn honks] Isn't that your boss now?
Grantland D. Farns : [car pulls up] You finish looking around, I'll see you later, buy you a drink.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : A drink might be a good idea.
Grantland D. Farns : We have to drink a toast to my favorite subject: money.
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Grantland D. Farns : Now, here's an example: supposing the bank thought that some of the lumber we used was green and unseasoned.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Just for the sake of argument, making no promises, put that into words.
Grantland D. Farns : Well, you can get yourself $10,000 cash by having your report show green lumber, bad concrete; anything that will delay the bank from making the final loan.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Ten thousand?
Grantland D. Farns : Ten, and ten more when Miss Corlane loses the place to some friends of mine
Mr. Hugh Shanway : I can't say you didn't put it into words.
Grantland D. Farns : I'll put it into money anytime you say.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : No time like this afternoon.
[Farns and Shanway walk away from the site, unaware that a camera has just filmed their conversation]
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Mrs. Shanway : [from the film] It is my privilege to turn the first spadeful of earth
[the video portion of the film abruptly changes from Mrs. Shanway to a turkey with Mrs. Shanway's voice due to a film error]
Mrs. Shanway : of the second unit of Lucky Vista...
Mrs. Shanway : Why, that's my speech! That horrible turkey is making my speech!
Rusty Cammeron : Well, Mrs. Shanway, it's not the film's fault, it's- it's that projector.
Movie Projectionist : Nothing wrong with my projector!
Rusty Cammeron : Why, there must be, we didn't shoot anything like...
Mrs. Shanway : [the film continues] In honored memory of that estimable, that foresighted, that public spirited industrialist, the late lamented Cornelius -
[the audio switches to a turkey gobbling]
Mrs. Shanway : [Miss Lucky Vista quietly laughs to herself] Oh! That's the most humiliating thing I've ever seen! You stop this picture at once!
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Me? I didn't have anything to do with it!
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Miss Lucky Vista : [Miss Lucky Vista runs into Mr. Shanway's arms] Oh, why Mr. Shanway, why I had no idea you were so strong.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : I wouldn't be surprised if you weren't the prettiest girl I ever saw.
Miss Lucky Vista : You shouldn't say that, you're a married man.
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Let's forget about the old battle-ax.
Mrs. Shanway : Ohh! Ohh!
Lucia Corlane : Please turn it off.
[the film ends and the lights go on]
Mrs. Shanway : Hugh Shanway, you worm! You viper!
Mr. Hugh Shanway : But honey, it...
Mrs. Shanway : "Old battle-ax", huh? You know very well I'm only 29!
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Honey, use some sense, that film's all mixed up. You know you didn't talk like a turkey to those people.
Mrs. Shanway : You didn't talk like a married man to that skin tomato!
Mr. Hugh Shanway : Oh honey, that dialogue was from another scene.
Mrs. Shanway : And as for you trying to steal my husband, I ought to have you arrested for petty larceny!
Miss Lucky Vista : Well what is she -
[Mrs. Shanway pushes Miss Lucky Vista down into a chair and leaves]
Miss Lucky Vista : I don't know why she's so jealous of me, I'm not jealous of her!