The Lavender Hill Mob (1951)

Stanley Holloway: Pendlebury

Photos 

Quotes 

• Henry Holland : A minute later, the guard will appear around this corner, and you, Pendlebury, will detain him for at least half a minute. Ask him for a light, ask him the way, ask him anything, but keep him there, we must have those thirty seconds.

  Pendlebury : Edgar.

  Henry Holland : I beg your pardon?

  Pendlebury : Isn't one supposed to say that when one's being briefed? On my rare visits to the cinema...

  Henry Holland : The word is "roger."

  Pendlebury : Oh, roger. How silly of me.

• Pendlebury : Of all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these - it might have been.

• Miss Evesham : [greeting Holland and Pendlebury on their tipsy return from a celebratory dinner]  You naughty men, waking us all up at this hour.

  Pendlebury : A thousand pardons.

  Henry Holland : [Restraining Pendlebury as he's about to enter]  Wipe your feet.

  Pendlebury : A little celebration.

  Miss Evesham : Already? Your holidays don't start till tomorrow.

  Henry Holland : Today is tomorrow.

  Pendlebury : "O polished perturbation! Golden care! That keep'st the ports of slumber open wide!" Henry IV, part two.

  Miss Evesham : Good night, you naughty men. Don't forget to switch off.

• Pendlebury : Ah, "gay, sprightly, land of mirth and social ease."

• Pendlebury : I propagate British cultural depravity.

• Pendlebury : By Jove, Holland, it's a good job we're both honest men.

  Henry Holland : It is indeed, Pendlebury.

• Henry Holland : I must apologize, gentlemen, for the somewhat informal manner in which we effected our introduction, but my colleague and I have a certain proposition which we'd like to put to you. I might almost call it a gilt-edged proposition, although paradoxically it does entail a measure of risk. However, when I quote the anticipated dividend, I'm sure that you will both agree with me that the...

  [There is a noise at the open window] 

  Pendlebury : Not another one, surely.

  Henry Holland : Tell him we're suited.

• Pendlebury : Well, you might as well know. I was lying. I am a thief. It was madness to attempt it. We weren't cut out for crime, either of us.

  Policeman : We?

  Pendlebury : My partner and I.

  Sidewalk Vendor : Your partner? Here, if you're working with the fence who's got them other pictures...

  Policeman : Shh! Carry on.

  Pendlebury : Oh I make no excuses. All my life it's been my ambition to surround myself with rare and beautiful things. Suddenly faced with this golden opportunity...

  Sidewalk Vendor : Here, you call that picture of mine rare and beautiful?

  Pendlebury : Since you will keep on interrupting me, you ought to know it's a charming example of an early Rochet, while he was still under the influence of Corot.

  Sidewalk Vendor : Oh yeah? How much is it worth?

  Pendlebury : Ten pound, to those who can afford it.

  Sidewalk Vendor : Oh blimey. I've had it marked up for five bob.

• Pendlebury : [replying to Shorty's statement that he and Lackery will wait for Holland and Pendlebury to return from France with their shares of the proceeds]  You mean you both trust us?

  Shorty : Oh, come off it, gov. You're as straight a pair of gentlemen as I ever worked for.

  Lackery : Hear hear!

• Henry Holland : Pendlebury.

  Pendlebury : Yeah?

  Henry Holland : Pendlebury.

  Pendlebury : What?

  Henry Holland : May I call you Alfred?

  Pendlebury : Alfred? Call me Al. And I'll call you... Henry, isn't it.

  Henry Holland : A name I never cared for.

  Pendlebury : Hm?

  Henry Holland : Mm. Call me Dutch.

  Pendlebury : Dutch. Yes.

  [They shake hands] 

  Pendlebury : Good night, Dutch.

  Henry Holland : Good night, Al.

• Customs Official : L'argent.

  Pendlebury : Oh, sadist torturers! Money.

  Customs Official : Your foreign currency? What do you have?

  Pendlebury : There!

  [throws his money in the air] 

  Pendlebury : Count it!

• Pendlebury : Guns, yes. It's essential we're armed. Here we are. Here's yours.

  Henry Holland : Is it loaded?

  Pendlebury : Yes. It's a present from Margate. It fires a stick of rock.

• [Holland enters the yard and sees Lackery wobble past on a bicycle] 

  Henry Holland : You're teaching the wrong man!

  Pendlebury : Well, I had to change him over. Shorty can't ride a bicycle.

  [Lackery falls] 

  Henry Holland : Doesn't look as if he can either.

  Shorty : We're learning him.

  Henry Holland : Why couldn't you learn Shorty?

  Pendlebury : Because Lackery's color-blind.

  Henry Holland : What's that got to do with it?

  Pendlebury : Oh my dear Holland, do use your intelligence! If a policeman were to come along and see a green sunset over a purple sea...

  Henry Holland : All right, all right, spare me the details.

• Pendlebury : Now it's all over, I suppose I may dare say it's been a most remarkable coup.

  Shorty : The biggest job of its kind since One-Eyed Dobson got away with the GIs' pay packets. Two million dollars, Grosvenor Square, 'forty-five.

  Henry Holland : That was before devaluation. And this is one million pounds.

  Shorty : Oh, that's right. Blimey. We've got the record!

• Lackery : Bellamy's? In Bromley?

  Shorty : That's right. Last June. Twelver.

  Lackery : I was casing that joint the night you got pinched.

  Shorty : Well, what do you know? Shorty Fisher.

  Lackery : Nice to meet you.

  Pendlebury : Excuse me, I may be a bit slow but do I understand that in fact, you two are both professional criminals?

  Shorty : Well, what else do you take us for, rutty snoopers?

  Lackery : What's the setup?

• Pendlebury : Run. Run, Dutch. Run.

• Pendlebury : There's someone else out there.

  Henry Holland : Tell them we're suited.

• Pendlebury : Edgar!

  Henry Holland : I beg your pardon.

  Pendlebury : Err... isn't one supposed to say that when one is being briefed? On my rare visits to the cinema...

  Henry Holland : The word is roger.