- J.J. Fate: [about Donald] He wouldn't think about going over Niagara Falls in a barrel, but this particular maneuver is called: "Falling Down Stairs." There are many ways of doing this if you aren't careful. The "Bumps-a-daisy Half Twist"...
- [Donald sets a TV set down at the top of the stairs, his feet get tangled in the cord and it falls down taking him with it]
- J.J. Fate: "Jelly roll"...
- [Donald trips and gets wrapped up in the red rug and rolls down the stairs in it]
- J.J. Fate: "Catapult High Dive"...
- [Donald steps onto a loose stair board and it sends him into the air]
- J.J. Fate: "Climbing Mount Everest"...
- [Donald carries many, many heavy things upstairs and he falls back down with them]
- J.J. Fate: "Riding a Rolly Coaster"!
- [Donald slips into a toy wagon and goes down the stairs]
- J.J. Fate: Now Mr. Duck doesn't take chances, he's just careless.
- [Donald leans against the banister and it breaks sending him down to the first floor]
- J.J. Fate: Oh yes! That's one I forgot to mention.
- Donald Duck: [angrily] That's the last straw!
- [cleans up the house to make it much safer]
- Donald Duck: I'm going to work, where it's safe!
- J.J. Fate: [Donald's cleaning his shirt next to the hot stove cooking dinner] Cleaning fluid plus stove equals... *a sure-fire method for removing spots*!
- [jumps into the bread box as a flaming explosion ensues from Donald's carelessness]
- Donald Duck: Everything happens to me! It's fate! That's what it is: fate!
- J.J. Fate: Listen to him blame me for his carelessness.
- [scoffs]
- [First lines]
- J.J. Fate: Howdy. I'm J.J. Fate, fall guy. My middle name is Jonah, and Jinx is in there, too. Hoodoo fits me like a glove, but Fate's my name to you.
- J.J. Fate: You know, accidents don't just happen by themselves. They have to be carelessly planned in advance. So step right up and have an accident. The average home is really a complicated piece of machinery, equipped with all the modern conveniences... for having an accident, if you inisist.
- [Donald lights up a pipe in a gas leak; explosion follows]
- J.J. Fate: He did.
- J.J. Fate: Do you realize that nearly five million people suffered in home accidents last year? And everybody blames me, daggnabit!
- [Last lines]
- J.J. Fate: This is an average neighborhood.
- [a house has its roof blown off]
- J.J. Fate: These are average homes.
- [Another house bursts into flames]
- J.J. Fate: Average people live here...
- [a man is seen shooting out of a chimney]
- J.J. Fate: ... having average accidents.
- [a couple more homes explode; a car breaks out a close garage]
- J.J. Fate: Because they don't use average intelligence. It's like I said: Don't blame me for your carelessness.
- J.J. Fate: This one is called a Throw Rug, for obvious reasons!
- [Donald Duck slips on the rug while holding a fishbowl in his hands and crashed into a different area of the house]
- J.J. Fate: Accidents happen fast, don't they?
- J.J. Fate: [in pseudo slow-motion] Let's just slow the picture down and see how he accomplished it.
- [Donald slides on the rug in the replay, falling, bumping, and tossing down the stairs, along with a few extra obstacles]
- J.J. Fate: Note how easy it is to have an accident. Just a few carelessly misplaced objects...
- J.J. Fate: [stops the picture, showing a mistake] Hold it! We missed one. Let's try that again!
- [rewinds to the part where Donald slips on a bar of soap and then tumbles forward into a chair and then splats into a wall with the fishbowl over his head]
- J.J. Fate: And there you have it. An awkward attitude by an inattentive, accident-proned individual.
- J.J. Fate: You know, accidents don't have happen by themselves.
- J.J. Fate: [sinister looks] They must be carelessly planned in advance. So step right up and have an accident.
- [Scenes showing loose toys, long cords and miscellaneous around the staircase, some in the living room, leftover burning smokes on the side table, a running hot iron burning through a shirt and ironing board and leaking gas from a heater]
- J.J. Fate: The average home is a complicated piece of machinery, equipped with all modern conveniences... ..for having an accident...
- [Donald sits in his chair, light a match to puff his smoking pipe]
- J.J. Fate: If you insist.
- [BOOM!]
- J.J. Fate: [shows a blackened Donald Duck and the ruined den from the explosion] He did.