All at Sea (1957)

Warren Mitchell: Artie White

Quotes 

• [Artie White, an escapologist, is getting an audience member to tie him up as part of his act. The man from the audience is completely bald.] 

  Artie White : And so, with the assistance of my good friend Goldilocks here, I shall now demonstrate that the secret of the Great Houdini lives on. That's a lovely head of skin you've got there, sir. Of course he's a very good-looking feller, you know, the poor girl's Yul Brynner.

  Bald Man : There's no call for personal remarks.

  Artie White : I'm very sorry, sir. Of course he ain't really bald, we know that. He's just got a tall face.

  Bald Man : [finishing tying up Artie]  And you won't get out of that in a hurry.

  Artie White : Get out of what?

  [Artie wiggles his body and the ropes fall off him] 

  Artie White : This?

  [the bald man leaves the stage, looking rather humiliated] 

  Artie White : Now, come back, sir. Don't get nasty. Keep your hair on.