My Man Godfrey (1957)

David Niven: Godfrey Smith

Photos 

Quotes 

• Molly : Our turnover in butlers, dear, is so fast, why, I've known 'em to come through that door, pick up a tray, go through *that* door, get fired, and keep going right throught the front door. Time lapse two-and-a-half minutes.

  Godfrey : On one's first day, a word of encouragement is always welcome.

• Vincent : Hey, look, are you in the habit of hitting ladies?

  Godfrey : [turning menacingly]  I'm more in the habit of hitting gentlemen, if I have to.

  Vincent : [to Cordelia]  Well, you heard him. You're in no danger.

• Irene : I would have won the scavenger hunt with a porcupine only I was disqualified because one of the judges sat on it. What are you looking at me like that for?

  Godfrey : Was he hurt?

  Irene : No. We sent him back to the zoo.

• [explaining scavenger hunts] 

  Irene : And the first one back with all three wins.

  Godfrey : Wins what?

  Irene : They win the honor of *winning*.

• Howard : I think I liked your mother's parties better the way she used to have them. With the scavenger hunt last.

  Irene : Oh, yeah, she had to change that. Because last year some of the couples who went out hunting didn't get back for days! Come on.

  Godfrey : Where did they go?

  Irene : Well! I certainly hope you don't think *I* was going to ask them.

• Godfrey : Everybody's dressed.

  Irene : Well, that's only because it said so on the invitation.

• Godfrey : There are a great many animals, madam, that are almost human, and ah, vice versa.

• Irene : Is Godfrey your first or your last name?

  Godfrey : Both.

  Irene : Godfrey Godfrey? What's your middle initial?

  Godfrey : G.

  Irene : For?

  [Godfrey nods] 

  Irene : *Interesting*.

• Godfrey : Well, I'm a man who believes that the more milestones there are in somebody's life, the better.

  Irene : Ah, there, you see. It just goes to show you that the more ragged and countered a man is - oh, I'm sorry - the more likely he is to say something that you can quote.

• Irene : It's very very clear to me that you're not at all what you pretend to be.

  Godfrey : I haven't pretended to be anything yet. You haven't given me the chance.

• Godfrey : Hasn't it occurred to you that I might very easily be a - be a dope peddler, or a murderer?

  Irene : Oh, no! You're not the kind of man that would ever come easily to it, Mr. Godfrey. And anyway, if you really did it, I'm quite sure they had it coming to them.

  Godfrey : Who?

  Irene : Whoever you murdered.

  Godfrey : Well, it's just that little old lady I strangled for her money, you know.

  Irene : Oh, well, we don't have any little old ladies in the house, so you can start in the morning.

• Godfrey : I'm the new, uh...

  Molly : New butler, what else?

  Godfrey : Well, I could be the tax collector, or the milkman, or...

  Molly : Not in this house at this hour.

• Godfrey : I got the impression last night that he was comparatively sane.

  Molly : He is. But they're gettin' him.

• Angelica : Are you friendly?

  Godfrey : One of the most friendly, madam.

  Angelica : Oh, good.

• Angelica : Do you hear that music?

  Godfrey : Quite clearly, madam.

  Angelica : You do? You're the only one who ever has.

  Godfrey : Some of us are more sensitive than others.

• [looking at hangover tonic] 

  Angelica : What's that?

  Godfrey : Pixie remover.

  Angelica : Oh, then you see them, too.

  Godfrey : Oh, we're old friends.

  Angelica : You mustn't step on them. I don't like them, but I don't like to see them stepped on.

• Godfrey : Molly, I don't know any of them very well, but I do think that at least Miss Irene has what I would call a big heart.

  Molly : She's got a stray cat complex. No offense meant.

  Godfrey : Oh, that's all right. But have you ever thought how many stray cats there are in the world these days? And how impossible their lives would be if it weren't for a few stray cat collectors like this girl?

• Godfrey : Mrs. Bullock is the first woman I've met in years with whom I've felt an immediate understanding.

• Godfrey : Any, ah, any hints on how to handle her?

  Molly : There's nothing to it. If you can understand that girlie Aztec language she speaks.

• Molly : You don't feel as if your brain's been eaten away a little?

  Godfrey : So far I haven't noticed.

• Irene : Are you a Roman?

  Godfrey : No. I'm an Austrian, miss.

  Irene : Did you have a kangaroo when you were a little boy?

  Godfrey : Oh, you must be thinking about Australia.

  Irene : You could have one here if you wanted to, you know.

  Godfrey : Yes, I'm sure I could, but it wouldn't be the same, somehow. Will you excuse me?

• Irene : If you didn't have a kangaroo when you were a little boy, what did you have?

  Godfrey : Just a parrot, and all it ever said was Merry Christmas.

  Irene : Aww, and what did it say the rest of the year?

  Godfrey : Nothing.

  Irene : Poor Godfrey.

  Godfrey : Thank you.

• Mr. Bullock : Haven't I seen you some place before?

  Godfrey : At your party last night, sir. I'm a little less bearded now.

• Mr. Bullock : Thank you, uh...

  Godfrey : Godfrey, sir.

  Mr. Bullock : Thank you, Godfreysir.

• Godfrey : How much money have you put in the bank since you started with the Bullocks?

  Molly : Not one red cent.

  Godfrey : How, Molly?

  Molly : I don't trust banks.

  [laughs] 

• Godfrey : One day, I'm going to have to make an honest woman out of you.

  Molly : Well, by that I hope you don't only mean you'll cure my stealing.

• Godfrey : You and I could live for about three months on what a silly little thing like this would cost.

  Molly : Together?

  Godfrey : Oh, I couldn't afford you, Molly.

• Cordelia : I don't make you nervous, do I?

  Godfrey : I'm sorry to say you don't.

• Godfrey : Hasn't your mother ever explained to you that some things are proper and some things are not?

  Irene : No. You have to be wayward to get any attention from mother.

• Godfrey : I'm your butler, Miss Irene. I'm not your host.

  Irene : Well, of all the unhospitality!

• Godfrey : How is your husband, madam?

  Francesca : Which one?

  Godfrey : Any one.

• [about her boyfriends] 

  Irene : Well, we never could find anything to talk about and we'd just sit there. And then my father would get worried that it was going to fall through, and he'd offer to set whoever it was up in business, and whoever it was would run like crazy. Which only gave Cordelia another chance to be really funny and sarcastic. So I finally said, who needs it?

  Godfrey : Who needs love?

  Irene : Who needs Cordelia knocking herself out at my expense?

• Francesca : I did what any well-trained employer would do. I said, Godfrey, if you really feel that your wife and five children need you more than we do, good luck.

  Angelica : *Five* children?

  Francesca : It is five, isn't it?

  Godfrey : Somewhere about that, madam.

• Godfrey : No caviar for you for three days.

• Godfrey : I fell in love with the Statue of Liberty.

• Godfrey : I'd like to tell you a little story about a very sentimental young lady with a very kind heart who helped a man who was very grateful. But then she threatened to undo all the fine work she'd done.

  Irene : [happily]  Oh, Godfrey! You made up a story about me.

  Godfrey : No, I didn't make it up, and evidently you didn't hear the end.

• Godfrey : It's so hard to make beds when they're full of people.

• Francesca : You have a wonderful memory.

  Godfrey : Pleasant things are hard to forget.

• Godfrey : [drunk]  I should be diluted. Deleted.

  Molly : You should be de-loaded.

• Godfrey : Are you married again, and how many times since I saw you?

• Godfrey : She was suddenly taken with an acute case of embarrassment, and had to leave.

• Godfrey : You fall into that unfortunate category that I would describe as the Park Avenue Brat. A spoiled child brought up in ease and luxury and always given her own way. But as a matter of fact, you shouldn't really be allowed out in public until someone has taught you the basic rules of good taste, and good manners.

• [there is a loud crash in the hallway] 

  Angelica : Oh, dear.

  Mr. Bullock : What's that?

  Angelica : Oh, I hope it wasn't the big yellow vase with the fauns frolicking on it.

  Godfrey : No, madam, that was the green one with the cupids capering on it.

  Angelica : Oh.

  Mr. Bullock : Thank you, Godfrey.

  Godfrey : One does what one can, sir.

• Francesca : You really have grown very fond of that family, haven't you?

  Godfrey : Sort of.

  Francesca : All of them?

  Godfrey : Some of them.

• Godfrey : Now look. I'm not going to let you marry somebody just to help *me* out.

• Godfrey : That Rolls Royce definitely cramps my style.

• Irene : I'm grown up!

  Godfrey : Then act grown up.

• Irene : Nobody will let me help them, because they say I only make matters worse. Now is that really true?

  Godfrey : Sometimes, it is, yes.