User Reviews

Now here are a few tips if you happen to stumble upon this "movie" and decide to watch it:

-Ignore the script (there isn't one anyway)

-Ignore the acting (the actors say things like "I'm afraid! We are going to die!" with all the emotion that goes into discussions about the weather).

-Ignore the bad makeup, the inept camerawork, the overabundance of "fog", all the technical mistakes.

-Concentrate on the occasionally amusing dialogue, AND on the naked female bodies. Two or three of them are sensational. That's the only way you can get something out of this one.

-And remember that there ARE worse movies out there. Have you seen "Blood Orgy Of The She Devils"? (*1/2)

This movie has a werewolf, a mummy, walking dead, ghouls, a zombie, the princess of darkness, and an emperor of the dead. Most of the movie takes place in a cemetery. Even with all this, you'll never believe it, but this is not a horror movie. What little there is of acting, is so poor it's a joke. The filming is terrible. Forget about a plot and trying to find out where the movie is heading. It isn't heading anywhere. Don't expect to watch an actual horror movie. The main point of this movie is to show about 10, attractive, topless women doing individual exotic dances. The dancers are attractive, and for 1965 exotic dancing I would have to say they are pretty good. The main problem is, that's it. That's all there is to it. There is no more. Watch this only if you want a poor excuse to watch some strippers dancing.

Terrible movie that was "written" (you mean there was actually a script to this??) by Edward D. Wood Jr. though he didn't direct it. You could have fooled me, as the incompetence of Stephen C. Apostolof is just as bad - or maybe worse! There's nothing that happens in this film after a man and woman driving in a car have an opening scene crash. They subsequently become captives of an "emperor" (the nutty Criswell, wearing the actual Dracula cape that Bela Lugosi donned for ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN) and his female vamp assistant (who looks a lot like TV hostess Elvira). They tie their two victims to stakes and they're forced (as we are) to watch a bevy of topless women individually introduced to do all sorts of long and ultimately boring solo dances. Some of them are less sleep-inducing than others (the cat woman was okay), but they all drone on too much amidst an atmosphere of gloomy fog which often obstructs our view of the best parts anyway. What's unintentionally funny are the occasional inserts of Criswell watching from the sidelines and making lame expressions when he's not obviously reading from cue cards. He's also got at least one funny politically incorrect line which he says to his male captor: "Nobody wants to see a man's ass!" (Heh Heh Heh). Things get even more ridiculous when The Wolf Man and The Mummy (two guys in cheap Halloween costumes) drop by to watch the festivities. * out of ****

Add this film to the "Looks Better On DVD Than It Has Any Right To" list. The recent DVD release reveals far better original material than the old VHS showed. We get to see every droplet in the swirling fog, every quiver of the dancers' flesh. We get to see just how dead Criswell's pan is. Every flaw is brilliantly illuminated. How can this old low-budget stuff end up looking better than many a modern film?

Sure, this movie is slow, tedious, repetitious and ultimately pointless. But it grows on you. Like fungus. It has an odd sincerity, in its utter badness. Somehow, nobody seems to really understand that they are making a bad movie -- the secret of the charm of the Ed Wood universe.

I have not only the new DVD, but also the full (including dialogue) soundtrack CD which I have listened to many times. I admit to a strange, childish pleasure to be typing away at work while listening to dialogue like, "A pussy cat was born to be whupped!"

Would-be indie filmmakers should take inspiration from this film, as it is proof that no matter how bad the dreck put to film may be, it can see distribution and perhaps even a profit. And, filmmaking lets you hang out with naked babes.

I'm working on the sequel now. Watch for it.

This has to go down as one of the most inane pieces of celluloid schlock ever released on an unsuspecting public. For bad movie buffs you can consider that a recommendation, and for the rest of you, don't say you weren't warned! A young couple crashes their car only to end up in a cemetery full of half naked strippers being watched over by "The Ruler of Darkness" and his foxy looking assistant "Ghoulita". There are also some pretty bad attempts at comic relief by a werewolf and a mummy. Need I say more? Well, even if I wanted to I couldn't because that about sums up the entire plot. Screenplay by Ed Wood, which could possibly explain the ineptness of it all. As a fan of bad movies I ate this one up.

First let me say that Ed Wood did not direct this "film;" he is only responsible for the script(lets not blame him more than need be for this piece of ineptitude of epic proportions). This film makes Plan Nine From Outer Space look like a minor cinematic classic. At least Plan Nine is a film that one with an open mind can sit through and be reasonably entertained, but this....this....was almost unwatchable! It is a story about two people driving one night in search of a cemetery(only the background to these scenes are shot in daylight). They of course find a cemetery...and not just your ordinary run-of-the-mill types either. No! They come across the cemetery that has a Ghoul leader observing dead topless women dance for his pleasure. And that really is all the film is about...10 topless strippers perform for Criswell(the ghoul leader) and his assistant the Black Ghoul. There is no real story, no plot twists except for the appearance of a wolfman and mummy so horribly made-up and acting so painfully as to make one wince every time they speak. Dancer after dancer performs and we get to see plenty of breasts....breasts of all sizes, shapes, angles...which is all that one can applaud in this piece of dreck. This film is nothing more than an exhibition for talentless strippers to perform with bad music and scenarios. Criswell speaks as if he thinks out every single word and says each word as if it were Moses laying down the Ten Commandments. No one in the film has any acting range whatsoever and the settings are cheap...covered up by plenty of dry ice floating about. I wish there was something good I could say about this film, but the honest truth is that, even though I consider myself a aficionado of bad films, I had a great deal of trouble sitting through this awful, boring mess.

This movie is special in that way that certain children you went to school with were special. The kids who ate gum off the ground.

Now, I don't wanna say the movie is bad, we all know that. I'd just like make a tiny highlight reel, in what I deem is an order of importance.

First and foremost, the one touch that made my brain turn itself off, was the gold. And by gold I obviously mean yellow plastic poker chips. Lots of them.

Next, let's take a moment to appreciate our young...star's...car. This car is a miracle of science in a way that defies physics. Midday inside, night time outside, midday inside, night time outside. Fantastic.

The wolfman and the mummy. The wolfman, voiced very well by a sick kitten, and the mummy, voiced by a man with ADD who mailed in his reading with an old time tape recorder to play it.

Criswell. See my reference to special children above. Also, "more gold!" Classic.

Finally, the plot. There sort of isn't one. In fact, I had to fast forward through most of this movie because more than half of it was sedated women, possibly out patients, swaying to and fro while my buddy Criswell watched and clapped. I was astounded by the vision the filmmakers came up with.

In closing, I feel everyone should see this movie. I will sell you my copy for the postage it will take to get it to you.

"Bob" (William Bates) is a writer who decides to visit a cemetery for inspiration on his next story. With him is his girlfriend "Shirley" (Pat Barrington) who would prefer to be just about anywhere else. Anyway, as they are driving Bob takes a turn much too fast and they are both thrown out of the vehicle just as night begins to fall. It's at this time that they both hear strange music playing near the cemetery and go to check it out. What they find is both odd and deeply disturbing. Now, as far as this movie is concerned I found it to be extremely long and tedious with the only scenes even remotely of interest being the dance routines of several "ghouls" (for want of a better word) forced to perform a striptease for an underworld demon of some sort called "the Emperor" (Criswell). It's all rather weird and nonsensical with the awkward dialogue and horrid acting being the low points of an otherwise boring movie. In short, this is a bad movie and viewers should hesitate before wasting 92 minutes of their life they will never get back.

Speaking of embarassing total disasters, we have "Orgy of the Dead", a film that dares to make you watch 90 minutes of odious stripping - and nothing else. :=8P Sporting some of the worst acting the MooCow has ever seen, TONS of dull, stupid dancers, and two bumbling, brain-dead wanna-be monsters, AND the loquacious Criswell, this Ed Wood-written schlockfest is must viewing for all devotees of Le Bad Cinema. Yes, Wood only wrote this turkey - director Stephan Apostolof directed it, as he directed many nudie quickies in the 60's & 70's ("Snow Bunnies", "The Beach Bunnies", "College Girl Confidential"). The plot, such as it is, involves two dumb-as-bricks lovers who wreck their car near a graveyard, a graveyard in which the Lord of Darkness,& his mistress Ghoulita, make many, many dead topless women dance forever. Sounds like a drunken Hugh Heffner fantasy? Maybe, except that we are forced to watch soooo many of them, it feels like an endless nudie dog-and-pony show of strippers, each one as forgettable and faceless as the last - Apostolof has created the unthinkable: he has actually made sex, or at least nudity, boring! If this campy chorus line of boring bimbo jiggle wasn't enough, we have the always-overdone Criswell, who acts as if he's reading his line from cue cards just off camera, and two silly ghouls(a mummy and a wolfman, very obvious comic-relief), who pointlessly argue about the afterlife. Needless to say, every proper production technique is gleefully ignored in this film - day-for-night shooting, miserable fx, lousy make-up, and dismal editing & sound can only begin to describe the lowest-of-low budgets this film was made on. At least one of these topless bimbos actually managed to work in the industry again - Pat Barrington (the "gold girl") shows up again in such films as "Mondo Topless", "The Acid Eaters", "Sisters in Leather". Valda Hansen ("ghost girl") appeared in Wood's "Night of the Ghouls". Because of the EXTREME boredom-factor, the MooCow can only recommend this silly soft-porn to schlock-hounds and Ed Wood devotees, but even they will be pushed to the brink. The MooCow says this "Orgy" of Tedium is as bad as it gets! :=8P

If you are an admirer of Edward D. Wood, Jr. prepare or better yet, brace yourself, yet again.

While Ed did not direct this spook-fest, he did write the screenplay (so to speak) based on a novel which he also penned for general release, primarily at fine bookstores which also carried magazines like 'Dude', 'Rogue', 'Nugget' and 'Gent.' For 'ORGY OF THE DEAD' is not so much a horror movie but a beyond the grave burlesque show featuring a bevy of beauties summoned by that master seer himself, Criswell. Look deep into Criz's eyes as he reads from his cue cards and glances up at the camera lens every so often. For this role, Criswell's cape was originally worn by Bela Lugosi as 'Dracula' in 'ABBOTT & COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN'. The only humor available in this cemetery plot, though, are between the Wolfman(Rod Lindeman)and the Mummy(Louis Ojena), reminiscent of 'PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE's wise-cracking cops, Paul Marco and Conrad Brooks.

A.C. Stephen(Stephen C. Apostolof) directs this flick, with an affectionate nod to the screenwriter. The opening scene takes place in broad daylight with a 1965 Corvair convertible taking in some mountainous curves until the next turn when, in true Ed Wood time management fashion, it suddenly becomes night and then day again along the same mountain pass.

The driver(William Bates)delivers his lines to his girlfriend passenger(Pat Barrington)as if he's narrating a documentary on how "Unsafe At Any Speed" the Chevrolet Corvair is. Kudos to Ralph Nader because, wouldn't you know it, this Corvair crashes, too. Pat Barrington (sometimes billed as Barringer) plays a double role here as 'Shirley' and 'The Gold Girl'. (Criswell goes over the top here as he memorably intones "More Gold, More Gold!"). Miss Barringer would soon play lead in 'THE AGONY OF LOVE'. When Criswell starts drooling in 'Shirley's direction, she lets go with a "blood-curdling" scream(not once mind you, but twice)sounding as anemic as the budget for an Edward D. Wood, Jr. production. Actually, Pat Barringer's 'talents' were displayed to best advantage in Russ Meyer's classic 'MONDO TOPLESS.' Go, Pat, Go!

This brings us to the real reason to view 'ORGY OF THE DEAD.' In spite of Criswell's rants from his coffin about "Monsters to be pitied, Monsters to be despised," the real show is provided by the likes of 'Texas Starr', 'Bunny Glaser','Rene de Beau' and more grind house marquee starlets. Professional exotic dancers with their own bizarre themes set to music perform for Criswell's pleasure in Astra Vision and Sexicolor, no less.

The music sounds like a cocktail lounge blend between Martin Denny and Les Baxter. Actually, the score is provided by Jaime Mendoza Nava, conducting The Chilean Symphony Orchestra(really!). These cryptic chicks dance and bounce topless(no pasties,thankfully) with panties or a G-string. "The Bride" who frugs and jerks to her husband's skeleton and the "Cat Woman" are highlights, but hey, these haunted honeys are all Screaming Mimis even if they don't make a sound and don't always dance in sync to the music, as if that really matters.

So don't be surprised afterward if you find yourself baying at the moon at full port. You Have Been Warned!

I think I heard "Nature Boy" and other classic stripper music. The music is probably the best aspect of the movie. About the same type of performances as you'd see in period burlesque videos that are available, except there is no "tease". Clothes are on, then they're off. The dancing has an ethnic and occult theme, such as in the Mexician skull dance. These BOR-ing dances seem endless, and may be best suited to be projected on the wall at a '60's theme party. The lack of continuity at first is funny, and campy Criswell if fun to watch. The creature costumes are so bad they're good. The movie does have a consistent plot. Move over "Revenge of the Killer Tomatoes", we have a new champion.

Looking at the user ratings for this, it is not altogether surprising that most users rate it a one, i.e. terrible. While it is quite terrible, with next to no production values (and it could very well have been made by Ed Wood, who "wrote" it; in fact, I'd classify it as an Ed Wood movie), A.C. Stephen's "Orgy of the Dead" is often at least extremely entertaining; that is, it's entertaining to those who enjoy pure schlock when they see it. If nothing else, this movie offers non stop schlock, ranging from actors who cannot act (but who spout inanely quotable lines, nevertheless), strippers who can't dance, and effects which are anything but special. Because the schlockiness of it is often quite hilarious, I'd thus be inclined to rate it rather higher than a one. Also, to be taken into consideration is that when this was made, it was meant to serve no other purpose than as something to be projected on to the screen at various grindhouse theaters across the country at a time just prior to the advent of harder porno theaters. Hence, it's a relic of an earlier era than our own, serving a kind of sociohistorical value, as well; perhaps it belongs, along with all of the Ed Wood canon in the Smithsonian?

It's hard to describe what it's like watching this film. At first the film made me and my friends laugh at the horrible continuity errors (day changing to night, etc.), the laughable acting, and the total lack of plot, but then the film gets down to what is was really made for... a cheap nudie(well, semi-nudie) film. That's where the movie REALLY falls apart! After a while, watching these bored, topless women dancing around for criswell's pleasure actually became embarrassing to watch! I won't even get into the wolfman and mummy comedy team that are inexplicably in this film!

Here's a movie which is probably most 'famous' now for having its screenplay written by Ed Wood. In fact, it was seemingly adapted from his novel (!), which is pretty hard to swallow once you watch the thing, particularly given that two-thirds of it is taken up with a conveyor belt of topless dancers shaking their stuff in a graveyard. In other words, there is practically no story-line at all, so heaven knows what Ed's novel was like! Like other Wood movies, this one stars Criswell, except in this one he is the star of the show. He plays a vampire-like character called The Emperor, who lords over a cemetery with his Vampira-esque sidekick. They summon a series of strippers from beyond the grave, while a couple of numbskulls sneak a view of all this baffling activity. Criswell, is the main reason to watch this I suppose. He delivers his lines in his usual ridiculous manner, clearly reading his lines of bits of paper just off screen, including howlers such as 'Torture! Torture! It pleasures me!' This is a challenging viewing, given that there is so little actually going on. It barely qualifies as a horror movie and is more a nudie cutie with horror elements. It has to be said, it would have been a better film if Wood had directed it.

When Ed Wood writes a film that he DOESN'T direct, this is what happens - pointless drivel with some nicely shaped "dancing" girls. Even Pat Barringer's talents are wasted on this mid-60's epic of brazen curiosity. Criswell (reading from cue cards from the looks of it) at least has his persona to carry him through a bleak valley of pointless American pseudo-crypto-post Van Goghian one-set silliness. Crazy stuff..but boring.

A 2 out of 10. Best performance = Pat Barringer. The Wolfman and The Mummy stand around like a Greek chorus on Darvon waiting for their big scene. Semi-nudity. Strange music. Something for the Martians to find someday. Not evil, though, just banal and almost...

Before watching this movie, I thought I knew a thing or two about bad movies (being an MST3K fan), but this is by far the worst movie I have ever seen. I recommend that you get this movie with some of your bad-movie-loving friends and make a vow to each other to sit through the entire movie. There is a pattern in this movie that becomes painfully obvious (dancing girl scenes), so it becomes very tempting to fast forward through bits. The padding involved becomes hilarious. The whole movie must have cost about $1000 to make. Mistakes, bad editing, missed cues, and a stupid plot are within. So funny.

For once, I've decided not to click the spoiler warning box, because there is nothing to spoil in this movie! A must-see for any fans of Edward D Wood Jr, this....remarkable...softcore striptease movie reaches new heights of what I like to call 'ultra-boredom'.

I don't believe it's impossible to have a plot in a porn film...mainly because it isn't...but Orgy Of The Dead managed to fall between both stools. It has no plot, and there is no porn! Not really. What we see on screen for the majority of the flick...an even dozen very listless horror-themed striptease burlesque acts, performed by a bevy of well-endowed but uninvolved-looking women...is about as erotic as a documentary on the construction of the Suez Canal. There's whipping, there's lots and lots of boobs being shaken, but unless you're an insane breast fetishist or a HUGE burlesque fan, anyone hoping to get a thrill outta this stuff is in for a letdown. This film is BORING, folks. This film brings new meaning to TEDIOUS! The stripping's not kinky or explicit enough to be titillating, and each strip goes for way too long. The music that accompanies it is...well, actually, quite humorously bad.

But! Lame as the stripping is, there is just enough Wood magic to keep da boat afloat. The angstrom-thin plot sees a wooden WASP couple being taken prisoner by ghouls after a car breakdown and forced to watch the above-mentioned strip n whip marathon. Inbetween acts, and sometimes during them, we get the 60s equivalent of DVD commentary, provided on screen by Ed's old pal Criswell. Cris, as the 'Emperor', presides over the festivities, reading his lines off cue cards in his inimitable shouting pseudo-Shatner-on-LSD style. "A pussy cat was born to be whipped!" is but one of his profoundly insightful comments. Criswell is DA MAN in this movie, proving with his 'performance' that you don't need to smoke wicked pot to act completely stoned. Cris's sidekick, a buxom pale-skinned Vampira clone dressed in what would come to be known (by everyone except Vampira and her lawyers) as "Elvira gear", also chips in with droll asides now and then. We cut to our tied-up 'heroes', the WASP couple, now and then, to learn how scared the woman is and how determined the man is to get away somehow. The stripping continues. There's some gold coins. Then more gold coins. Criswell laughs and calls for yet more gold coins. We cut to more stripping. Vampira Clone pouts and purrs a line while thrusting her Valles Marineris-deep cleavage outwards as far as she can. (Bless her.) Then a mummy and a werewolf come on and do a bizarre comedy double act that goes nowhere. Then there's a snake. Then more stripping, then OH MY BRAIN HURTS.

Ed Wood, now well into the alcoholic spiral that would kill him in 1978, scripted this megaturkey for his pal Stephen Apostolof to direct, garnering about 600 bucks for the sale of the story. Apostolof (billed in the credits in very cryptic fashion as "AC Stephen") seems to have taken tips on direction from Ed here, as can be witnessed in the initial car ride sequence. True to Plan 9, day and night freely interchange about four times during the course of one scene. Once our heroes are captured, we never move from the one 'spooky' forest set...there's plenty of fog, plenty of trees, plenty of Criswell shouting, plenty of female toplessness, but no actual motion of plot whatsoever. The film's not very long, maybe 70 minutes tops, but seems to make the 15-hour-plus Paris Alexanderplatz look fast-paced.

This movie is bad bad bad, but as the final collaboration between Ed and the world's most inaccurate TV psychic (Cris, of course), this is unmissable. As many other people have noticed, Cris and his busty assistant bear an odd resemblance to Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky...a good deal of humour can be gained from taking the duo's on screen comments out of context in a "Bill and Lew" way.

One final note - "Monica" is by far the sexiest woman in the movie, and yet is the only one that doesn't take any of her clothes off. This seems deeply wrong to me, and probably killed the film's only chance of being even vaguely erotic.

This is trash, but it's Ed Wood trash (even if he didn't direct it)...and what's more, it's about the easiest 60s Wood trash movie to find, so go ahead and see it. Some great Woodian moments amongst the ultra-boredom. Too cheerful to be offensive, yet too tame to be arousing. More fun than you'd think, if you approach it with the right mind....or lack thereof. Criswell rules!

'You sure picked the wrong night to find a cemetery', says, what I presumed to be our heroine to our hero, in the opening of "Orgy of the Dead" which was written by Ed Wood but 'directed', if that's the right word, by someone called A. C. Stephen, aka Stephen C. Apostolof. Yes, we are in all-time-worst-movie territory again but this time in color and with a hell of a lot of dancing, not to mention Criswell doing some narration.

Who in their right mind actually paid money to see crap like this? The dead, perhaps? Oh wait, what's this? Tits? Now I get it; this was never meant to be a 'horror' film, (though it is a horror), but a 'nudie', of which there were many in the sixties. On that level, it's no worse than any other, (alright, maybe it is), but while there is a lot of lascivious dancing, (mostly just swaying about with nothing on), there's no actual sex. Any sexual activity usually took place in the darkness of the auditorium and while there's a Wolfman and a Mummy, actual zombies seem to be in short supply. Gob-smackingly awful.

Even though it is listed here as a 1980 movie, it seems much in the style of the 1960s. The dialog is terrible, and the plot is barely there. Also barely there are the thong-style bikini bottoms worn by the topless dead dancing women! By the fading light of the full moon, they strip and strut for the "Ruler of the Dark", (his side-kick is great, probably the best dressed/best actress in this movie) allegedly as punishment for their immoral ways in life. It was also an ironic touch to catch and tie up the couple who were watching all this (it could happen to you!) Overall, a gratuitous skinflick, with a whole lotta shakin' goin' on, and some pretty good thematic music, but a no-brainer beyond that. At least it's an attempt to bring erotica and horror together...

If you have nostalgia for 1960s skin flicks this is it. Lots of bare-breasted jiggly boobs. The chicks are svelte and pretty in a naive 60s sort of way (they all kinda look like second rate Raquel Welch/Ann-Margret clones). Reminds me of trench coated low life's beating off in empty, sleazy, smoke-filled movie theaters. There's really nothing much else to say. No plot, no dialog, just semi-nude strippers prancing around on stage. But they're young and thin and sexy. If all you're looking for is some innocent fun before the advent of hard-core bj flicks this might be your cup of tea. If you get your kicks by fantasizing about the chicks in the Adam's Family or Munsters going around bare-breasted this may be it for you.

This movie sucks! This coming from a lover of bad cinema. I love Ed Wood movies, I have a healthy collection of Franco flicks, but this is so far beneath any concept of the word 'good' or even 'decent' that I feel pain in referring to it as 'cinema', which (sorry to say to any one that liked this unadulterated piece of trash) it isn't.

A young couple experiences car trouble and are taken captive by a group of monsters and are forced to watch semi-attractive girls sporting K-mart quality costumes prance around topless. Oh the horror! Looks like it could have been shot by a high schooler in his back yard, except that no high school kid could convince that many girls to show their goods for a camera. The sets are bad, the costumes/make-up are bad, the acting is bad, the story is...wait, there isn't a story.

Some one, some where out there will probably be mis-guided into believing that a series of half-naked dancing girls will at least make for some exploitive thrills. It doesn't. I've seen 'Saturday Morning Specials' with more sex appeal.

For the love of whatever you believe in, don't watch this! 1/10