- Moe: Look what Yuk did for my friend here. Hair in such abundance that the chipmunks nest there in the mating season.
- Moe: Our first duty is to see that you take your rightful place in the world.
- Prince Charming aka Quatro: l'm sorry, various and assorted fathers, but you won't get rid of me that easily - even if l turn out to be the emperor of China!
- Snow White: [singing] Lonely, lonely little star, How you twinkle from afar, All alone yet still you glow, Ever bright, To let me know, There's a place, ln the sky, Called Happiness, On the far other side, Of the moon, Where you walk through a bright, Golden door, To whatever your heart, Wishes for, Dreams are real, In that place, Called Happiness...
- Queen: How l've hated wearing black. A whole year of it! One more day and my widow's weeds would've strangled me! Free at last.
- Moe: Your Highness, lords, ladies and jellyspoons, it is a privilege to bring to you in person the one and only renowned prestidigitateur and entrepreneur par excellence - Quatro the Great.
- Prince Charming: lt's time to rid our country of this tyrant! l give you my heart, my arm, my sword! Will you follow me?
- Count Oga: Fang of snake, tail of rat, eye of toad, and claw of cat. Deadly nightshade, hippo fat, spider's eyebrow, wing of bat. Just right. Drain it. Drain it to the diabolic dregs.
- Prince Charming: When the king was alive, you were free men. Look at you now - slaves! Slaves to a queen so infamous the whole land cries out against her crimes!
- Curly-Joe: l wish we were more of us - and prettier.
- Snow White: l wouldn't want you to be any different. l love you just as you are, all three of you.
- Moe: Behold the secret of the ages! Yuk, the recipe of which was imparted to my illustrious partner and myself by an incumbent judo expert, in gratitude for saving his life when threatened by an emotionally unstable cobra on the far-flung mud banks of the flooded Hoogli. Now, as a river, the Hoogli is only oogly. But this unique concoction not only cures all the known afflictions that confound mankind but it reduces weight, kills moths, and restores the hair!
- Queen: [to Count Oga] You needn't make it sound as if I enjoy annihilating children. I only do it when it's... unavoidable.
- [hawking an all-purpose "medicine" called Yuk]
- Moe: Become the envy of your friends. Surprise your wife. You, lady, grow a beard and surprise your husband!
- [The Stooges come upon Snow White sleeping in the Seven Dwarves' cottage]
- Curly-Joe: The dwarves must lend this place to everybody.
- Snow White: [to the Stooges] I love you just as you are, all three of you.
- Larry: Gee. Only our mother ever said that without laughing in our faces.
- Snow White: Aren't you going to kiss my hand?
- Curly-Joe: I always say it with flowers.
- [gives her a flower]
- Snow White: Only one?
- Curly-Joe: I get tongue-tied.
- Moe: Can we help you, sir?
- Prince Charming: Don't you recognize me?
- Moe: It can't be... It is, it's Quatro!
- Moe, Larry, Curly-Joe: Quatro!
- [they hug him]
- Moe: But, we heard him say they killed you. You're not a ghost.
- Prince Charming: Well, I'm alive. A full of brought back my memory. I'm a king now.
- [At the castle, the Queen stormed into Count Oga's laboratory with the chest box]
- Queen: Traitor! You shall be hanged, drawn and quartered!
- Count Oga: I, your majesty? What have I done?
- Queen: Snow White is still alive!
- Count Oga: Impossible.
- Queen: My mirror has just told me... And my mirror never LIES!
- Count Oga: But, you have a heart to prove it.
- Queen: [looks at the chest box] This? This is the heart of a pig!
- [throws the chest, Oga drops the potion and catches it, crashes and she comes to him]
- Queen: SNOW WHITE IS STILL ALIVE!
- Count Oga: Then, Hordred has betrayed us both.
- Hordred: [drops a dagger] I can't... I can't do it. Forgive me, your highness. Forgive me.
- Snow White: But, why? Why should you want to kill me?
- Hordred: The Queen. She's jealous of your beauty. You must never return to the palace. Understand, princess?
- [she nods]
- Hordred: Now, run. Run for your life, run!
- [she runs off into the forest]
- Hordred: Run, princess, run! Never come back.
- [Rolf has warned her from the castle]
- Rolf: Your highness! Your highness!
- Snow White: What is it, Rolf? What's happened?
- Rolf: His majesty. He's suffered from his under attack. Please, come... Come, your highness. Quickly.
- [She comes inside the castle with him]
- Prince Charming: Mirror, l beseech your help, no matter what the cost. ln the name of love eternal... show me where l can find my beloved Snow White. Where is she? Tell me where.
- [the mirror shows him the cabin where Snow White lives]
- Magic Mirror: On mountain high, beyond the blue... thy faithful heart will guide thee true.
- Prince Charming: I thank you with all my heart.
- Moe: Food for the prisoner!
- Turnkey: You've come to the wrong cell. This man needs to be executed.
- Moe: On an empty stomach? Don't be so unpatriotic.
- Turnkey: Ahh. I don't hold with all this mollycoddling.
- [He unlocks the door, Three Stooges stops him]
- Turnkey: Hey, how come a whole loaf of bread for just one man?
- Curly-Joe: Because of his last meal. Now, if it was me, l'd start off with oysters and white wine.
- Turnkey: Ah. What is this obnoxious concoction?
- Moe: That's... sandwich surprise!
- Larry: Yeah, for the man who eats everything.
- Turnkey: What are trying to do, poison him?
- Larry: Poison him?
- Moe: That's a finest food in the queen's kitchen.
- Turnkey: Oh.
- [he began to eat. But, Larry slaps his hand]
- Larry: Hey, that's not for the help.
- Turnkey: Ah.
- [he resumes to eat a sandwich. But, he screams in pain with a file weapon, he grabs it]
- Turnkey: A file! Guards!
- [the Three Stooges bonks his head with a plate]
- [first lines]
- Narrator: Once upon a time, in a far off land of Fortunia, there lived a noble king and his lovely young queen, who lacked but one blessing, to make their joy complete.
- [the page turned to Larry]
- Moe: Not you, come out of there!
- [grabs and pull Larry's hair out]
- Narrator: I beg your pardon, ladies and gentleman.
- [turning the page]
- Narrator: The good queen longed for a child to love, whose skin would be as white as snow, her lips as red as rubies, and her hair is black as ebony.
- [the page turned to to Curly]
- Moe: Who let you in?
- Curly-Joe: My hair used to be black.
- Moe: Out, before you get a pair of eyes to match!
- [slaps Curly out]
- Narrator: Really, this is most-- Sorry.
- [turning the pages]
- Narrator: The queen's prayers were answered. A child as delicate as a snowflake was born to her, and they called her Snow White.
- [turning the pages]
- Narrator: But the king's joy was swiftly changed to grief for his frail and gentle queen was taken from him and summoned back to heaven.
- [turning the pages]
- Narrator: The king mourned her with a broken heart; but at last, in submission to the pleading of his people, he wed again.
- [turning the pages to Queen]
- Narrator: But, alas, the new queen's heart was cold and evil.
- Queen: Mirror mirror on the wall, who is fairest of them all?
- Magic Mirror: Only truth reflects me, indeed. No one lives as fair as thee.
- [turning the pages]
- Narrator: But, she reckoned without Snow White, who even in childhood, showed the promise of a beauty that would one day far outshine the queen's.
- [turning the pages]
- Narrator: Now, it so happened that there dwelt in the neighboring kingdom of Bravuria, a fearless and handsome prince.
- [turning the pages to Moe]
- Curly-Joe: He said handsome.
- Larry: Yeah, get out of there.
- [They both grab Moe out]
- Moe: Hold on, I'm a citizen!
- Narrator: Gentleman, I must protest.
- [dissolves to a young prince]
- Narrator: This is Prince Charming, the hero of our story... destined to love Snow White with all his heart.
- Moe: Come back here, you! That belongs to me! Give it to me!
- Narrator: Gentleman, gentleman, not in front of royalty.
- Curly-Joe: No, you don't!
- Narrator: [sighs] A thousand pardons, ladies and gentleman.
- Larry: Hey, wait for me!
- Narrator: And If, by now you're wondering what on earth the Three Stooges have to do with the fairy tale of Snow White, it's very simple... ln this version, we're telling the story of...
- [closes the book and reads the title]
- Narrator: Snow White and the Three Stooges.