The Horizontal Lieutenant (1962)

Jim Hutton: Second Lt. Merle Wye

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lt. Molly Blue : So I date a lot. I admit it. I'm shopping around. I'm 22, Merle. By the end of this war, I may be 30.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : That's why I say, "Gather ye rosebuds, while ye may."

  Lt. Molly Blue : Oh, I wish I had a dollar for every time that's been suggested. You could at least be a little more original.

• Lt. Molly Blue : You will be careful... out there? Promise me you'll be careful.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : They say one inch deeper in a foxhole makes all the difference.

• Col. Charles Korotny : [in his office, chewing out Lieutenant Wye]  You call yourself an Intelligence Officer... From all the intelligence you've given us, Kobayashi could be building a flattop, back in those hills!

  Col. Charles Korotny : [Lt. Wye starts to protest, but Korotny cuts him off]  I'm not surprised! I had a premonition about you the day you came through that wall. However, you don't seem worried. In fact, you seem quite content to remain on this island - possibly due to the presence of a well-stacked lady lieutenant. Well, I'm gonna' fix that wagon, but good!

  Col. Charles Korotny : [Wye starts to protest, but Korotny cuts him off again]  If you haven't laid your hands on Kobayashi by Sunday next, I'm gonna' have you transferred to Molobussy Rock. Ever hear of it?

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : [meekly]  No, sir.

  Col. Charles Korotny : *Nobody* has! Except the six people stationed there. All men.

  [let's out an evil chuckle] 

  Col. Charles Korotny : You read me clearly?

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : [meekly]  I read you clearly...

  Col. Charles Korotny : Out!

  [orders Wye out of his office] 

• Second Lt. Merle Wye : Hey, Blue, what do I do with your tie?

  Lt. Molly Blue : Hang yourself!

• Second Lt. Merle Wye : [narrating, as relevant images are displayed on screen]  This is me, October 1944... the day I was inducted into the United States Army. This is me again, when I was enrolled in Officer's Candidate School. And here's another of me... the day they assigned me to Military Intelligence. "Military Intelligence"... man, what mental pictures that brought up. I could see myself busting enemy codes wide-open all over Europe, snooping out troop movements in Oriental saloons, languishing in the arms of some foreign spy while I wormed the plans out of her. That's what I dreamed about. You know what happened? This:

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : [scene changes to him sitting on the bench at a baseball game, dressed in baseball uniform]  That's no disguise I'm wearing. That's me, languishing in Fort Garrett, Honolulu, 4,000 miles from the nearest Japanese Kamikaze. There I sat for months, Second Lieutenant Merle Wye of Military Intelligence, third-string outfielder on the G2 ball team. What a way to fight for your country. Little did I know I would soon be a casualty of World War II.

  [right then gets hit in the head by a foul ball] 

• Sgt. Roy Tada : Lieutenant, how you happen to get into intelligence department?

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Just how do you mean that, Tada?

  Sgt. Roy Tada : I don't mean something.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : It's very simple. I studied languages in college, and naturally, they assigned me to Japanese interpretation. Why not?

  Sgt. Roy Tada : Why not?

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Yeah, except I studied French.

  Sgt. Roy Tada : Oh, sure.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Sometimes I wonder how the High Command makes decisions in this army.

  Sgt. Roy Tada : Maybe they use a ouija board.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : You know, if it weren't for you Niseis I'd still think that sukiyaki was an enemy general.

• Lt. Molly Blue : No. No more questions, Merle...

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Blue, we've got to. Just a couple.

  Lt. Molly Blue : Not in her condition.

  Lt. Billy Monk : Her condition? She's been bouncing around these mountains like a gazelle. If I was in her condition, I'd try out for the Yankees.

  Lt. Molly Blue : Nevertheless, this girl is going to the hospital, and now. Call a field ambulance.

  Lt. Billy Monk : Would you mind letting us give the orders?

  Lt. Molly Blue : Don't argue with me. Just do it!

  Lt. Billy Monk : Lieutenant, you're monkeying with Intelligence.

  Lt. Molly Blue : I'm glad you told me. I'd never have guessed.

• Lt. Billy Monk : [Showing the newly-arrived Merle Wye around the island]  Here's where we are now, see, and here's the harbor, there's the command headquarters, here's the new hospital, and here's the civilian detention camp. Well, that's the whole island. It's not much, but you'll learn to hate it.

  Lt. Billy Monk : [continues]  Now, these cliffs are full of caves, where the Japanese prisoners are holed up, including your friend Kobayashi.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Has anyone ever seen this Oriental raffles?

  Lt. Billy Monk : Nor hide nor hair. He's as slippery as an eel in a pail of lard.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Doesn't seem to bother you very much.

  Lt. Billy Monk : Heh! Why should it? He's your problem now. Yes, sir, I'm washed up with Never-never Land. As soon as I finish briefing you on your duties, which should take about 3 1/2 minutes, I'll be winging my way to Honolulu and into the arms of some comfortable girl. I may stay in that position for several months.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : Well, don't count on it. That ball club plays 6 games a week, not counting exhibitions.

  Lt. Billy Monk : So I've heard. But a guy at my age could always wrench his back in the first game, which I fully intend doing. Anyhow, I'll be out of Never-never Land.

  Second Lt. Merle Wye : You keep calling it "Never-never Land." I don't get it.

  Lt. Billy Monk : On this rock, kid, there are 4,000 American men, and 18 American women, heh heh... "Never-never Land". Can you think of a better name?