Mr. Hobbs Takes a Vacation (1962)

James Stewart: Roger Hobbs

Photos 

Quotes 

• Peggy Hobbs : Didn't you get his last name?

  Roger Hobbs : No, I just called hey Joe, it's from my experience that there's usually one Joe in a group of fellows.

  Peggy Hobbs : That's a fine way to get a date for your daughter, paying him $5.

• Roger Hobbs : I've never sworn at a cook in my life.

  Peggy Hobbs : Well she said that you did when you came downstairs this morning.

  Roger Hobbs : This morning? When I came down... I never even spoke to her. I asked the kids how they'd like a little sun on the beach and they... an-an-an...

  [They look at each other, realizing the misunderstanding] 

• Roger Hobbs : If this house was good enough for Edgar Allan Poe, it's good enough for us.

  Peggy Hobbs : I'm sure it's better inside.

  Roger Hobbs : Everybody stand back... in case of bats.

• Roger Hobbs : We've got one consolation. In the whole history of the world, there has never been a child brought up right.

• Roger Hobbs : Don't you think he had a rather intelligent face? It looked to me like the inside of a small canteloupe.

• Roger Hobbs : Just so there won't be any misunderstanding, son... nobody was any more surprised than I was.

  Danny Hobbs : Just like Christopher Columbus, huh, Dad?

  Roger Hobbs : That's right. That's right- me and Chris Columbus, Magellan... Drake, Mortimer Snerd...

• Roger Hobbs : Where's the switch? The switch?

  [light switch clicks] 

  Roger Hobbs : Well, I'll be a son of a gun.

  Peggy Hobbs : Isn't it wonderful?

  Katey Hobbs : Netta Nickerson says that most of the houses out this way... haven't any conveniences at all.

  Roger Hobbs : I haven't seen a bulb like that since I was seven years old.

  Peggy Hobbs : Dad, really, what are we going to do in a place like this?

  Roger Hobbs : But a bulb this weak, you can't even call it a light! It's a dark. You turn that thing on in the middle of the day, the whole room goes black.

• Mr. Kagle : [Roger is reading Mr. Kagle the plumber's written instructions aloud while Peggy who wants to bathe watches]  "Engage clutch, and motor will start. If it doesn't, you did something wrong. Also, be sure and adjust throttle to maintain 50 pounds pressure... or else you'll blow up the whole damn place."

  Roger Hobbs : Anybody who wants to take a bath around here tonight can jump in the Pacific Ocean.

• Mr. Martin Turner : You haven't done much walking have you Hobbs?

  Roger Hobbs : Only since I was about two years old!

• Roger Hobbs : There ought to be an un-Edison, an un-Thomas Alva Edison who un-invents things, and the first thing they ought to un-invent is that television.

• Roger Hobbs : I'm scared to death I'll run into them someday on the street without their wives... and won't even recognize them! Do you realize that I've seen Mr. Stanley Carver... exactly three times in my whole life before today? The next time I saw him after meeting him for five minutes in Cleveland was at the altar. "The dark one on the left," somebody said. And I gave my own flesh-and-blood daughter to this complete stranger.

  [in disbelieving disgust] 

  Roger Hobbs : "The dark one on the left."

• Roger Hobbs : How 'bout a little sun on the beach?

• Roger Hobbs : This is simply to explain to you... why, after last month... you never again were able to suck me into another gay, happy, carefree vacation... with the family-may God bless and keep each and every one of them... individually. Paragraph.

• Mr. Martin Turner : Who took these?

  Roger Hobbs : Peggy. She does all the photography around here.

  Mr. Martin Turner : Wha'd she use?

  Roger Hobbs : A camera.

  Mr. Martin Turner : Asterbex?

  Roger Hobbs : Probably.

• Roger Hobbs : [about Katey's dancing partners]  First an Albino and now a pygmy!

• Roger Hobbs : I'd be more religious if something wouldn't happen to that television set. Just praying that lightning would strike it, not the entire industry, just our set.

• Roger Hobbs : From now on, we're going to live our lives... and they can live their lives... and happy landings to everybody. Good night, honey.

  Peggy Hobbs : But what about the- the family?

  Roger Hobbs : Well, what about the family?

  Peggy Hobbs : I mean, communicating with the children.

  Roger Hobbs : Oh, to hell with it. Let them communicate with us for a change.

  Peggy Hobbs : Honey!

  Roger Hobbs : We're not going to worry about this anymore. You understand?

  Peggy Hobbs : Uh-huh.

  Roger Hobbs : Good night.

  Peggy Hobbs : Good night.

  Roger Hobbs : [laying still listening to the surf through the open window]  You'd think that lousy surf would lay off for two or three minutes, wouldn't you?

• Peggy Hobbs : Did you ever see any place quite so horrible?

  Roger Hobbs : Not since Dragonwyck.

• Peter Carver : I don't like you!

  Roger Hobbs : You little creep.

• Marika Carter : That's a grandma?

  Roger Hobbs : 36-26-36 and still operating.