Heavens Above! (1963)
Isabel Jeans: Lady Despard
Photos
Quotes
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Lady Despard : How is he doctrinally?
Archdeacon Aspinall : Oh, middle of the road. Not too high, not too low.
Lady Despard : Good! Sir George had such a horror of Roman practices.
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Lady Despard : Does he have any money of his own?
Archdeacon Aspinall : Oh, yes.
Lady Despard : Good. A poor parson's such an embarrassment.
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Lady Despard : Does he drink?
Archdeacon Aspinall : An occasional glass of wine.
Lady Despard : Well, that will be a welcomed change, after the last one.
Archdeacon Aspinall : I can assure you, Lady Despard, Beecham was a teetotaler before he came to Orbiston Parva.
[the previous vicar]
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Lady Despard : And I can make you have 500 dozen eggs a week - to give away.
Self-Service Store Manager : Give away? The head office would never touch an idea...
Lady Despard : I've neve heard such nonsense. Every time I pass this shop you're advertising free gifts.
Self-Service Store Manager : Ah, yes, that's not the same thing. That's incentive marketing. What you're suggesting is unfair trading. Couldn't do that.
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Lady Despard : If it hadn't been for the Despards, the church would have fallen down years ago. Repairs to the tower. The damp rot in the battery, not to mention the dry rot in the pulpit.
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Leslie Hughes : [the milk company manager] But you couldn't do that. I mean, where's the profit? There's gotta be a profit somewhere - for someone.
Lady Despard : I don't want to make a profit.
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The Reverend John Smallwood : It's not those people I'm worried about. I'm worried about you.
Lady Despard : Me?
The Reverend John Smallwood : Yes. You see, from a Christian point of view, you're in a bit of a fix, aren't you? I mean, we've all got a few weights to do on the way to heaven. But with the weight you're carrying, well, um, I'm worried whether you'll be there at the finish.
Lady Despard : What exactly do you mean - the weight I'm carrying?
The Reverend John Smallwood : Well, I was thinking of that bit about the rich and the eye of the needle.
Archdeacon Aspinall : Now, come, come, Smallwood. Nowadays that passage is given a very different interpretation.
The Reverend John Smallwood : Yes, I dare say.
Lady Despard : Are you really telling me that because I'm rich, I might...
[the scene switches to the kitchen where the Smith adults are arguing]
Winnie Smith : ...go to hell.
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Major Fowler : Good morning, Mrs. Despard. This is a pleasure. We don't often see you here.
Lady Despard : Well, I simply had to come and have a look at the new vicar. I couldn't stand the last one.