Father Goose (1964)

Trevor Howard: Houghton

Photos 

Quotes 

• Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Mother Goose is requesting a chaplain.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : A chaplain? Good heavens, he's killed her.

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : No, sir. They want to get married.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Married? Goody Two-Shoes and the Filthy Beast?

• Walter Eckland : All those miles of open sea and back again, a man would need something to keep warm, now, wouldn't he?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Two bottles.

  Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Three.

  Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Five.

  Walter Eckland : All of them, Frank.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Got a pencil?

• Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : We could have transferred George Dickens from the interior if he hadn't gotten himself eaten that way.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : You needn't make him sound such a shirker, Stebbings.

• Commander Frank Houghton RAN : There's a bit of paperwork to fill out, Walter. Who's the Maid of Honor?

  Catherine Freneau : Umm, Elizabeth Anderson.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : And the Best Man?

  Walter Eckland : Uh, Harry MacGregor.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Harry?

  Walter Eckland : Just believe me.

• Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [Speaking of Walter]  I believe I've found our nail, Sir. A rusty one I grant you, but they don't come any sharper.

• [Eckland has just discovered that there was no snake when Houghton, who believes Catherine is dead, is calling] 

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter? Are you there, Walter? I have the chaplain, I thought it might be a comfort if he said a few words.

  Walter Eckland : Never mind the chaplain, Frank. She's alive. The snake's dead.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter, explain yourself.

  [Eckland puts down the microphone] 

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter? Walter?

  [shouting] 

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Walter!

• Walter Eckland : [after Frank's ship bashes a hole in Walter's boat to get him to go to Matalava]  FRANK, HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND? LOOK AT MY BOAT!

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [on a bullhorn, pleased with himself]  Terribly sorry, Walter! Our steering must have jammed! I'm sorry!

  Walter Eckland : IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO WORK ONE OF THOSE THINGS, WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SO?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : I am sorry!

  Walter Eckland : OH, STOP SAYING THAT! LOOK AT MY BOAT! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Become a Coast Watcher, I expect! Luckily, we put a little surprise ashore! Oh, Walter... we'll stand by until you get safely in!

  Walter Eckland : FRANK, I'LL SUE YOU! I'LL SUE! I'LL SUE THE ENTIRE WAR!

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Quite right, Walter! I'll be your witness!

  [adding] 

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Oh, and Walter... Thanks for volunteering!

• Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [after explaining the Coast-watching service]  It's ary important work, Walter. Damned important. You'd might like to volunteer.

  Walter Eckland : Oh, I'd love to, Frank! But, I've just signer on for another watching service: the "Watch Out for Walter Eckland" Service!

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : A great many lives are at stake, Mr. Eckland!

  Walter Eckland : Now listen to me, both of you! Now, several years ago, I made peace with the World. Now, if the World isn't bright enough to make peace with ITSELF, it's just going to have to settle things without me!

• Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [Telling Walter the code-names to be used on the radio]  I'm Big Bad Wolf, Stebbings here is Bo Peep, and you're...

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Mother Goose, Sir.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : That's it. You're Mother Goose. Now try and remember all that, Walter. It's bloody important.

  Walter Eckland : Yeah, bloody.

• Walter Eckland : [on the radio on his island]  When do I get off?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : I told you, as soon as we find a replacement for you. In the meantime, try to relax. Oh, and I'm very sorry about your boat. I really am.

  Walter Eckland : Is Big Bad Wolf *really* sorry? Because if he is, Big Bad Wolf and Little Bo Peep can DO something for Mother Goose. THEY CAN GO...

  [Stebbings cuts the radio off before any profanity goes through] 

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [to Stebbings]  I don't really blame him, do you?

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Sir, I don't think we've accomplished anything. I don't think he'll report in. I mean, you can lead a horse to water, but can you make it drink?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : [calmly]  When he gets thirsty, he'll drink, Stebbings. He'll drink.

• Walter Eckland : [about the Coast Watching Service]  We've been friends for a long time. Do you really think you can talk me into it?

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : No, I suppose you're right. Stebbings, confiscate all the small craft on this pier.

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : But this is the only one there is, Sir.

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Confiscate it.

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Yes, sir.

  Walter Eckland : Frank, you can't do that! I'll go over your head! Who's in charge here?

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : He is!

  Walter Eckland : Frank, you can't do that to me! That boat's all I have!

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : You said we've been friends for a long time, Walter. Do you really think you can talk me out of it?

• Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Bride's full name?

  Catherine Freneau : Catherine Louise Marie Ernestine Freneau.

  Walter Eckland : [Gives Catherine a strange look]  Eh!

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : Groom's full name?

  Walter Eckland : Walter Christopher Eckland.

• Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : Good heavens!

  Commander Frank Houghton RAN : What is it?

  Lieutenant Stebbings RAN : He... he made a gesture, sir!