- Inspector: I just want to borrow a thousand francs. What's the matter? Don't you trust me?
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: Si, I do trust you, but I have to tell you about these pesos.
- Inspector: Not pesos! Francs!
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: You're welcome.
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: [jumps out and faces Spider Pierre directly] Okay now, Señor Spider. You better give it up, or I'm going to let you have it!
- Spider Pierre: [breaking the fourth wall, pointing at Deux-Deux] HE is going to let ME have it?
- [Pierre starts laughing hysterically, then gets sprayed in the face with bug poison by Deux-Deux and is subdued]
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: [calls out] Hey, Inspector! I think he's got the DDT's.
- Inspector: [to Spider Pierre while chasing him] You criminal you! I'll show you that you cannot break the law!
- [as he was yelling, Spider Pierre climbs up the side of a building, and Inspector initially runs up after him, but slides back down onto his back]
- Inspector: Make another note, Deux-Deux. He is also breaking the law of gravity.
- Inspector: [after initially failing to run up the side of the building after Spider Pierre, he returns with plungers strapped to his legs] Okay Spider, I'm coming to get you.
- [Starts up the wall quickly]
- Inspector: I warn you! This is your final chance!
- [Spider opens one of the windows, then runs up the building. Inspector is all but running after him now]
- Inspector: You better surrender!
- [He then disappears into the open window, then we hear a woman scream]
- Woman: [as Inspector runs out of the window into mid-air trying to escape, she appears brandishing a broom] Ooooo! You peeping Tom!
- [Hits him upside the head with the broom, he falls straight down, lands on the plungers, then springs back up to her]
- Woman: Ooooo, you want some more!
- [Hits him again, the same thing happens, and continues to throughout the scene]
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: [as he watches this] Well, that's cop biz for you. It has its ups, and downs.
- Inspector: [Narrating] We spotted Spider running into an alleyway, and we gave chase.
- [They show Spider Pierre doing so, and he and Deux-Deux following in their police car with the siren going]
- Spider Pierre: [On the other end of the alley he is watching, and pulls out a weapon that looks like a handgun, but has a spool of thread on it] I guess I will have to use my "spider-webley-specialist.
- [Activates it and spins a spider web onto the walls at the end of the alley, then watches as the Inspector's car runs into it and is stopped by it]
- Spider Pierre: Au revoir, copper!
- [the car is slung backwards back down the alley, and we hear a crash]
- Inspector: [Cut to their car] Sergeant, get out and see who ran into us.
- Sergeant Deux-Deux: [He does and is shocked to see they hit the Eiffel Tower and damaged it badly] Holy Frijole! Hey Inspector! Get an eyeful of the Eiffel! Boy, is it awful!
- Inspector: [narrating] Soon after that, the steel doors of prison closed upon Spider Pierre. Unfortunately, they closed upon me also. That stupid Sergeant Deux-Deux had loaned me his child's play money and I was up a counterfeit rap. However, when I get out, I decided to go straight...
- Inspector: Straight to Sergeant Deux-Deux's house and clobber him!