You Only Live Twice (1967)

Sean Connery: James Bond

Photos 

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Quotes 

• Tiger Tanaka : It can save your life, this cigarette.

  James Bond : You sound like a commercial.

• Blofeld : ...You made a mistake, my friend. No astronaut would enter the capsule carrying his air conditioner. Let's see who he is.

  [the guards remove 007's helmet] 

  Blofeld : James Bond. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Ernst Stavro Blofeld. They told me you were assassinated in Hong Kong.

  James Bond : Yes, this is my second life.

  Blofeld : You only live twice, Mr. Bond.

  James Bond : [DELETED LINE]  Well, they say twice is the only way to live.

• [Bond has just sent Blofeld's henchman into the water. The piranhas immediately attack him] 

  James Bond : Bon appetit!

• Tiger Tanaka : My friend, now you take your first civilized bath.

  James Bond : Really?

  [Bond is surrounded by four young Japanese women wearing only white bras and panties] 

  James Bond : Oh, I like the plumbing.

  Tiger Tanaka : Place yourself entirely in their hands, my dear Bond-san. Rule number one: is never do anything yourself - when someone else can do it for you.

  James Bond : And number two?

  Tiger Tanaka : Rule number two: in Japan, men come first, women come second.

  James Bond : I just might retire to here.

• Blofeld : The firing power inside my crater is enough to annihilate a small army. You can watch it all on TV. It's the last program you're likely to see.

  James Bond : Well, if I'm gonna be forced to watch television, may I smoke?

  Blofeld : Yes. Give him his cigarettes. It won't be the nicotine that kills you, Mr. Bond.

• Mr. Osato : You should give up smoking. Cigarettes are very bad for your chest.

  Helga Brandt : Mr. Osato believes in a healthy chest.

  [Bond eyes Helga's breasts] 

  James Bond : Really?

• [about to make love to Helga Brandt] 

  James Bond : Oh the things I do for England.

• [Being bathed by Tanaka's women] 

  Tiger Tanaka : You know what it is about you that fascinates them, don't you? It's the hair on your chest. Japanese men all have beautiful bare skin.

  James Bond : Japanese proverb say, "Bird never make nest in bare tree."

• [James is in bed with a Ling, a Chinese woman] 

  James Bond : Why do Chinese girls taste different from all other girls?

  Ling : You think we better, huh?

  James Bond : No, just different. Like Peking Duck is different from Russian Caviar. But I love them both.

  Ling : Darling, I give you very best duck.

• [Choosing a masseuse] 

  James Bond : Well, I'll just settle for this little old lady here.

  Tiger Tanaka : Good choice, she's very sexyful.

• M : [buzzing intercom]  Miss Moneypenny, give 007 the password we've agreed with Japanese S.I.S.

  MoneyPenny : Yes sir.

  [to Bond] 

  MoneyPenny : We tried to think of something that you wouldn't forget.

  James Bond : Yes?

  MoneyPenny : "I, love, you". Repeat it please, to make sure you get it

  James Bond : Don't worry, I get it.

• James Bond : Do you have any commandos here?

  Tiger Tanaka : I have much, much better. Ninjas. Top-secret, Bond-san. This is my ninja training school.

• Helga Brandt : [Bond is captured by Helga Brandt]  I've got you now.

  James Bond : Well, enjoy yourself.

  [Brandt slaps him] 

• Henderson : [Hands Bond a martini]  Oh, that's stirred, not shaken. That was right, wasn't it?

  James Bond : Perfect. Cheers.

  Henderson : Cheers.

  James Bond : Russian vodka. Well done.

  Henderson : Yeah, I get it from the doorman at the Russian embassy - amongst certain other things.

• Tiger Tanaka : You like Japanese sake, Mr. Bond? Or, would you prefer a vodka martini?

  James Bond : Oh, no. I like sake. Especially when it's served at the correct temperature: 98.4 degrees fahrenheit like this is.

  Tiger Tanaka : For a European, you are exceptionally cultivated.

• Tiger Tanaka : ...You are James Bond, aren't you? I am so very pleased to meet you Bond-san. I really am. Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Tanaka. Please call me Tiger.

  James Bond : If you're Tanaka, then how do you feel about me?

  Tiger Tanaka : [the code response]  I... love you.

  James Bond : Well, I'm glad we got *that* out of the way.

• MoneyPenny : Oh, by the way, how was the girl?

  James Bond : Which girl?

  MoneyPenny : The Chinese one we fixed you up with.

  James Bond : Oh, another five minutes, I'd have found out.

  MoneyPenny : She'll never know what she missed.

• Tiger Tanaka : [Three young Japanese women giving Bond a bath]  Your English girls would never perform this simple service.

  James Bond : I think I know one or two who might get around to it.

  Tiger Tanaka : Miss Moneypenny, perhaps?

• Tiger Tanaka : Chasing girls will be the end of you, Bond-san. I have told you that before.

  Aki : He didn't chase her! He did it so that I could get away. He wouldn't touch that horrible girl. You wouldn't, would you?

  James Bond : Oh, heaven forbid.

• James Bond : [while lying in his body bag]  Request permission to come aboard, Sir.

  Submarine Captain : Permission granted.

  James Bond : Thank you!

  [stands up] 

• [Bond is about to have his chest waxed so he can pass for Japanese] 

  James Bond : Why don't you just dye the parts that show?

• Tiger Tanaka : [after Tiger's helicopter drops an enemy car chasing Bond and Aki into the Pacific ocean]  How's that for Japanese efficiency?

  James Bond : Just a drop in the ocean.

• James Bond : Uggghhh... Siamese vodka?

• James Bond : Hello, Penny.

  MoneyPenny : You better go right in. You're late, as usual - even from your own funeral.

  James Bond : Well, we corpses have absolutely no sense of timing.

• James Bond : I'd like you to examine these as soon as possible. They're from Osato's safe.

  Tiger Tanaka : This is an order for naval stores. 500 kilos of butter. 50 containers of lox. What is lox?

  James Bond : Oh, it's American name for smoked salmon. But, it's also the technical name for liquid oxygen - which makes rocket fuel.

• James Bond : The last time someone gave me a massage, it was in Hong Kong. But, unfortunately, I had to cut it short. We were rudely interrupted by a couple of gunmen. So, we never got 'round to finishing it.

• Tiger Tanaka : I have much curiosity, Bond-san. What is Little Nellie?

  James Bond : Oh, she's a wonderful girl. Very small. Quite fast. Can do anything. Just your type.

  Tiger Tanaka : A toy helicopter?

  Q : No, it's certainly not a toy! You'll see. We've made one or two improvements since you've used her last. I'll give you the drill.

  Tiger Tanaka : This can only be for children! Don't use it, Bond-san; take my helicopter instead.

• Q : [Showing Bond the improvements to little Nellie, his one-man helicopter]  Right. Now, pay attention. Two machine guns, fixed.

  James Bond : Synchronized to what?

  Q : A hundred yards; using incendiaries, and high explosives. Two rocket launchers, forward-firing, one on either side.

  James Bond : Fine.

  Q : Now, two heat-seeking air-to-air missiles; sixty miles a minute.

  James Bond : Good.

  Q : Flame guns. Two of them, firing astern.

  James Bond : What range?

  Q : Eighty yards. Two smoke ejectors, next door to them. Aerial mines; now, remember to use them only when directly above target. That's about the lot, I think. You know the rest, don't you?

  James Bond : Yes.

• James Bond : Hello, Base One. There's nothing here but volcanoes.

• Tiger Tanaka : If Henderson's theory is right, why would a foreign power want to launch missiles from Japan?

  James Bond : Because if ever they were discovered, they could deny all responsibility. Especially if some private organization's doing the work.

  Tiger Tanaka : Osato?

  James Bond : Perhaps.

  Tiger Tanaka : Mister Osato *is* one of the greatest industrialists in Japan.

  James Bond : No, he's merely a front.

  Tiger Tanaka : Who *is* big enough?

  James Bond : SPECTRE.

  Tiger Tanaka : Could be.

• James Bond : [into radio microphone]  Tiger, contact M. Tell him to send Little Nellie. Repeat: Little Nellie. Suggest she be accompanied by her father. Most urgent. Understood?

  Tiger Tanaka : Understood.

• Tiger Tanaka : [discussing Osato Chemicals' supertanker, the Ning-Po, which is known to be smuggling rocket fuel]  We shadowed the Ning-Po to the outer islands.

  Aki : It was very dark. Hard to see her all the time.

  Tiger Tanaka : But we know she stopped somewhere. Look at these photos.

  [Tiger hands James photos of the Ning-Po] 

  Aki : Look at the water line.

  James Bond : [noticing the higher water line of the ship in seperate photos]  You're right. Fully laden here, and empty here.

  James Bond : [getting up]  I want to take a look at the island now. Is Little Nellie here?

  Tiger Tanaka : Yes. And her father.

  [James, Aki, and Tiger enter a nearby garage where an agitated and sweating Q is waiting] 

  James Bond : [sarcastically]  Welcome to Japan, Dad. Is my little girl hot and ready?

  Q : [annoyed]  Look, 007, I've had a long and tiring journey, probably to no purpose, and I'm in no mood for your juvenile quips.

• Helga Brandt : A Dom Perignon '59, Mr. Fisher? Are you really sure you won't change your mind?

  James Bond : [Posing as Mr. Fisher]  Well, if *you* insist.

• James Bond : Is this the only room there is?

  Kissy Suzuki : Yes. That is your bed,

  [points to one side of room] 

  Kissy Suzuki : I shall sleep over there.

  [points to other side of room] 

  James Bond : But we're supposed to be married.

  Kissy Suzuki : Think again, please. You gave false name to priest.

  James Bond : Yes, but we must keep up appearances. We're on our honeymoon.

  Kissy Suzuki : No honeymoon. This is business.

  James Bond : [pushing aside his oyster dinner]  Well, I won't need these.

• Tiger Tanaka : Bad news from outer space.

  James Bond : Yes; now the Russians are accusing the Americans.

  Tiger Tanaka : Next time, it will mean war.

• James Bond : Now what the hell's the score?

  Aki : What do you mean? My job is to help you.

  James Bond : Like you helped Henderson?

  Aki : I'm taking you to a place of safety.

  James Bond : No, this time I'm taking you. I want some information. I want it now.

  Aki : I have no information to give you.

  James Bond : Well, we'll soon see about that. Slow down.

• James Bond : Now, you're going to need some very close, uh, protection tonight in Tokyo, because, uh, well, that's when they'll try and get at you. You'll need the best man we've got.

  Helga Brandt : And, uh, who do you suggest?

  James Bond : Well... Me.

  Helga Brandt : I'm afraid I have another appointment tonight, Mister Fisher.

  [drops smoke bomb inside the cabin, and triggers an arm restraint] 

  Helga Brandt : I'm awfully sorry to leave you, but I have to get off.

  [exits the airplane and parachutes off the wing] 

• MoneyPenny : Instant Japanese! You may need it.

  James Bond : You forget. I took a first in oriental languages at Cambridge.

• Helga Brandt : Do you know what this is?

  James Bond : I'd rather not.

  Helga Brandt : Plastic surgeons call it a dermatome. They use it to slice off skin. I hope you won't force me to use it.

  James Bond : Now... What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

• James Bond : It's just a ship and a strip of land. It could be anywhere.

  Tiger Tanaka : My men found a microdot on the paper. Enlarge! It says: Photograph taken by female American tourist from coastal vessel. The woman has been liquidated as a routine precaution.

  James Bond : Can we see the photograph again?

  Tiger Tanaka : Of course.

  James Bond : So they killed an innocent tourist for taking this? Can you make it bigger? Ning-Po.

  Tiger Tanaka : Check motor vessel Ning-Po. Full details. All recent movements, and present whereabouts.

  James Bond : What's that on the left?

  Tiger Tanaka : Focus on the left! Aha! Ama. Diving girls.

  James Bond : Can you identify that coastline?

  Tiger Tanaka : Given time, yes.

• Mr. Osato's Secretary : Please come in, Mister Fisher. Mister Osato is expecting you.

  James Bond : Thank you.

  Mr. Osato's Secretary : You are three and a half minutes early. Please be seated.

• [Coded message to headquarters] 

  James Bond : Little Nelly got a hot reception. Four big shots made improper advances toward her, but she defended her honor with great success.

• James Bond : [to Aki]  Well, I think it's about hotel time.

• Tiger Tanaka : [rushing into Aki's house after hearing gunshots]  Do shita?

  James Bond : She's dead. Poisoned.

• James Bond : Gas! Get over the side! Quick!

  [they dive underwater and swim out of the cave] 

  James Bond : Phosgene gas to keep the visitors away. You noticed the sulphur on the walls?

  Kissy Suzuki : The yellow?

  James Bond : Yes. There was once an underground outlet for the lava from the volcano.

  Kissy Suzuki : There must be a long tunnel.

  James Bond : Uh... Miles of it. Leads all the way. Right up to the top there. And that's where we have to go next. Do you think you can make it?

  Kissy Suzuki : Of course. It's business.

• James Bond : Is that deep?

  Kissy Suzuki : They usually are. Very.

  James Bond : [throws a rock onto the water's surface, but the rock clangs and rolls across the surface]  It's metal!

• James Bond : ...So what's the plan for me?

  Tiger Tanaka : First, you become Japanese. Second, you train hard and quickly, to become a ninja like us. And third, to give you extra special cover, you take a wife.

  [007 and Aki beam at each other, but Tiger steps between them] 

  Tiger Tanaka : Regretfully impossible. You must marry an *ama* girl, one who is known on the island. The girl I have chosen for you is an agent of mine.

  James Bond : Is she pretty?

  Tiger Tanaka : Pretty? Ha! She has a face like a pig.

  James Bond : To hell with that idea.

  Aki : But this is duty.

• Henderson : Now look. I think London's theory about the missile being fired from this country is right. I don't know how or where. And don't ask me *who's* doing it, either. But, uh, I have a fairly shrewd idea that a major foreign power is behind it all.

  James Bond : You mean apart from Russia and Japan?

  Henderson : Oh, it's not Russia, old boy, I'm sure of that. It's not Japan, either. Although, a large Japanese industrial concern i--

  [abruptly stops talking] 

• Tiger Tanaka : [007 has just survived an assassination attempt by a SPECTRE agent disguised as one of Tanaka's ninja-trainers]  ... You killed him.

  James Bond : Hmmm; he tried to kill me...

  [DELETED LINE; shows Tiger the SPECTRE assassin's bamboo-staff/spear] 

  James Bond : ... Unless this is standard JSS training equipment, which I doubt.

  Tiger Tanaka : [DELETED LINE; eying the spear]  Hardly, Bond-san.

  [He looks closely at the SPECTRE assassin] 

  Tiger Tanaka : This man is a stranger, from outside.

  [DELETED LINE] 

  Tiger Tanaka : Let me see that, please.

  [One of his men passes him the spear. Tiger wipes some blood from the weapon and raises the blood to his tongue, then spits hard] 

  Tiger Tanaka : ... As I suspected; cyanide.

  James Bond : It's a good thing we're nearly finished here.