- Col. James Langdon: If I can find the time, I'm going to sit down and write the social history of bourbon.
- Ann Langdon: You went out there to talk, why did you have to shoot the man?
- John Henry Thomas: Conversation kinda dried up, ma'am.
- Shortgrub: You ain't expecting trouble, are you John Henry?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Trouble? Well, let's see... We got Maximilian on one hand and Juarez on the other, and bandits in between. And on top of that, we're Americans in Mexico taking a cavvy of horses to a very unpopular government. Why should we expect trouble?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: [Thomas has just learned that the war ended several days before] Major, I've just received word that Lee surrendered to Grant three days ago.
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: Yes, sir.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: You knew it?
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: We received the news yesterday.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: I don't think you understand, Major, the war is over.
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: NO, sir.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Are you telling me that you intend to keep fighting?
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: Haven't we just proven it, sir?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: But why?
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: Because this is our land, and you're on it.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: We're all Americans.
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: Yes, sir... that's always been the saddest part of it.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Good day, sir.
- Maj. Sanders, CSA: Colonel, thank you for your courtesy.
- Station-keeper: See'd your dust all day. What you drivin'? Buffalo?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Stage arrived yet?
- Station-keeper: It's overdue. I ain't askin' cause I don't care, but if your name's Thomas there's a couple of poppinjays waitin' inside ta see ya. They been here for two days now. I give 'em water the first day and they've took'n root.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Government agents?
- Station-keeper: I ain't asked. They ain't said.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: [after seeing Cpl. Little George for the first time] You sure you wanna go through with this?
- Bobby Joe: Biggest Reb I ever saw...
- Col. John Henry Thomas: That's the biggest *anything* I ever saw.
- [takes Bobby Joe's hat]
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Here... I'll write your folks.
- Bobby Joe: Huh? Oh... yeah.
- [Union Captain allows last escaping wagon to cross river]
- Yankee sergeant at river: Sir, I don't mean to...
- Union Capt. at river: I know, sergeant! But if I can't have the whole dog, I don't want the tail!
- Yankee sergeant at river: Yes, sir.
- Col. James Langdon: [on finding his men still in uniform] General Robert E. Lee surrendered, am I right?
- Capt. Anderson: Yes, sir.
- Col. James Langdon: That means that officially we no longer exist as an armed body; yet everywhere I look here today I see armed men, wearing uniforms and flying the battle flag! Get it down!
- [during a tryst with Charlotte, she tells him she's sixteen]
- Blue Boy: I like that you're so young. It gives us more time to be together.
- [kisses her]
- Col. John Henry Thomas: [Thomas and Langdon are talking to the Mexican bandit] Is the flap on your holster snapped or unsnapped, my Confederate friend?
- Col. James Langdon: Snapped, my Yankee friend.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Then, I guess I'm his pigeon.
- [Draws and fires as the Mexican goes for his gun]
- Shortgrub: Where to, John Henry?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: Shortgrub, I've been tryin' for three years to get you to call me Colonel. Now it's too late.
- Shortgrub: Where to, John Henry?
- Col. James Langdon: [takes the bottle of whiskey from the Sargent] Let's just say we haven't seen the end yet.
- Col. John Henry Thomas: [takes the bottle from Col. Langdon] You will if you keep drinkin' this stuff.
- Short Grub: Are they biting?
- Judd Mailer: Nope.
- Short Grub: Maybe you're not holding your mouth right.
- D.J. Giles: You're selling horses to Maximilian in preference to your own country's army?
- Col. John Henry Thomas: No, I'm selling horses for $35 in preference to 25.
- Yankee sergeant at river: Seems I've heard that bird before, sir, at Missionary Ridge. And if I'm not mistaken, that's a gray-bellied sapsucker.