Schlock (1973)

Saul Kahan: Detective Sgt. Wino

Photos 

Quotes 

• National Guard Captain : Well, looks like the guns got him.

  Professor Shlibovitz : No... 'Twas beauty killed the beast.

  Detective : [long beat]  What's *wrong* with you?

• Joe Putzman : Excuse me, Detective Sergeant Wino, I'm Joe Putzman. I was wondering if you'd like to reassure our viewing audience that this reign of terror in our town will soon be over. That these ghastly series of banana murders will soon cease. Can you tell us anything, give us one ray of hope that our streets will soon be safe to walk again?

  Detective : No.

• National Guard Captain : You Wino?

  Detective : Detective Sergeant Wino.

  National Guard Captain : Yeah, okay. Where are the kids? What are they doing? Burning their draft cards? Huh? Rioting? Wearing that damn long hair? That's what really grinds me, that long hair.

  Detective : Say, aren't you the barber from down on 3rd Street?

  National Guard Captain : Yeah, that's right. You need a trim!

  Detective : I was thinking of cutting my sideburns...

  National Guard Captain : Yeah, we can style them. Why don't you come in and have a shampoo too? Say about four o'clock Monday, huh?

  Detective : Monday's no good. How about Wednesday?

  Cal : Can't you guys discuss the haircuts later? That thing's got Mindy!

  National Guard Captain : Yeah, speaking of haircuts, ya punk...

• Detective : [surveying a park littered with dead bodies]  When I discover who or what is responsible for this... they're gonna be in *big* trouble.