Chris Kattan: Various, Mango, Self, Mr. Peepers, Doug Butabi, Suel Forrester, Azrael Abyss, Gator, Gay Hitler, Michael Gelman, Buddy Mills, Christiane Amanpour, David Gest, Gollum, Josh Zimmerman, Paul Begala, Scientist, Al Pacino, Al Pacino as Grouchy Smurf, Alvin Krone, Amelie, Andy Cantrall, Andy Dick, Anne Heche, Antonio Banderas, Arte Johnson, Jr., Bartender, Ben Affleck, Bill Gates, Bono, Brian, Brian Glazer, Britney Spears, Buck Dharma, Buddy Mils, Campaigner, Chris Kirkpatrick, Christopher Lowell, Clay Aiken, Contestant, Cult member, David Duchovny, David Kendall, David Lee Roth, David Spade, Doug Batubi, Douglas Feith, Dr. Anthony Fauci, Eddie Lewis, Gelman, George Michael, Geraldo Rivera, Guest, Guy, Hiroshi Fujisaki, Hollywood, Jay Kay, Joel Grey, John Edwards, John Galliano, Johnny, Johnny DeSanto, Johnny Jones, Julio Iglesias jr., Kelley, Ken, Kid Rock, Kippy Strug, Klaus Von Braunman, Kyle DeMarco, Larry, Marty Feinblatt, Melanie Brown, Menachim Begin, Michael Bloomberg, Michael Jeter, Mills, Octo Olrich, Paul Begalia, Paul Shaffer, Prince, Ralph Decastiglione, Raymond Munns, Reporter, Richard Kyle Pierce as Juan Gonzalez, Rick Jennings, Ricky Martin, Rudy Galindo, Samm, Sean, Sebastian, Son, Sonja's Husband, Squiggy, Steven, Townsperson, Villain, Walter, Wayland Flowers, friend