Murder by Death (1976)

Richard Narita: Willie Wang

Photos 

Quotes 

• Willie Wang : Who do you think is the murderer?

  Sidney Wang : Must sleep on it. Will know in morning when wake up.

  Willie Wang : But what if you don't wake up?

  Sidney Wang : Then YOU did it.

• Willie Wang : [as they are about to leave Twain Manor]  ... I don't get something, Pop: WAS there a murder, or WASN'T there?

  Sidney Wang : Yes: Killed good weekend. Drive, please.

• Willie Wang : Why do I do all the dirty work, Pop?

  Sidney Wang : 'Cause your mother not here to do it.

• Willie Wang : Here's the bridge, Pop. Doesn't look safe to me.

  Sidney Wang : One way to find out. Drive across.

  [gets out of car] 

  Willie Wang : Aren't you gonna come with me?

  Sidney Wang : Weight of two men may be too much for bridge.

  Willie Wang : Then why do I get to drive the car?

  Sidney Wang : 'Cause I smart enough to get out first.

• Sidney Wang : Did you see that?

  Willie Wang : No.

  Sidney Wang : Neither did I.

• Doctor Watson : [cutting-room floor-scene on the foggy road, near the movie's end; as the Wangs are departing from Twain Manor, they pass a vintage car heading up TO the Manor. The other car is driven by Holmes and Watson]  ... I say, old boy! Could you possibly give us directions to - Hello, it's Mr. Sidney Wang!

  Sherlock Holmes : [smoking his famous pipe]  Greetings, Mr. Wang.

  Sidney Wang : Ah, greetings to you as well! You have something to ask, I believe. Directions to where?

  Doctor Watson : Ah, yes! We've been "cordially invited to dinner and a murder," by a Mr. Lionel Twain.

  Willie Wang : *Lionel Twain?* Listen, you guys don't wanna...!

  Sidney Wang : [cutting him off]  Never mind him, please. Here - you go up this road, past bridge to "22 Twain." No can miss it.

  Doctor Watson : Ever so much obliged. Good day, then!

  [he and Holmes drive off] 

  Willie Wang : I don't get it, Pop! Why didn't you just tell them it was all a ripoff?

  Sidney Wang : Ah, let idiots find out for themselves! Drive, please.

• Willie Wang : [driving across rickety bridge]  I don't think I'm gonna make it, Pop. It's gonna collapse.

  Sidney Wang : Don't worry. Father find other way to house.

• Willie Wang : [DELETED SCENE, RESTORED FOR TELEVISION - Willie rejoins the others after covering up Twain's body]  ... I can't believe you missed it, Pop. The world's five greatest living detectives, and not one of you noticed that *Twain was clutching a note in his hand!*

  Sidney Wang : Give it to me.

  Willie Wang : Oh, no; it's mine.

  Milo Perrier : Oh, give it to your father, you idiot!

  Willie Wang : [gloating]  "Idiot?" We'll see who's the idiot, Mr. Perrier! The $1 million goes to whoever solves the crime, and that could be me just as easily as you! I've got more brains than my father gives me credit for! "#3 Adopted Son?" I'm sick and tired of being just your #3 Adopted Son. I'm *Willie Wang, Young Detective!* This clue belongs to me, and nobody's getting it from me, you understand? Nobody...!

  Sam Diamond : [with his gun leveled at Willie's head]  Better stand back, Tess. I don't want you to get hurt when the bullet comes out his other ear.

  [takes the note and reads] 

  Sam Diamond : "Please call dairy and cancel future deliveries of milk; Lionel Twain deceased."

  [hands back the note] 

  Sam Diamond : So much for your clue, kid.

  Willie Wang : [very sheepish]  Uhm... Sorry about that, Dad.

• Willie Wang : Some fog, eh, Pop?

  Sidney Wang : I've already heard the weather report. Drive, please.

  Willie Wang : It's as thick as pea soup. Not a soul around for miles. Know what l think? Perfect place for a murder.

  Sidney Wang : Conversation like television set on honeymoon: unnecessary.

  Willie Wang : Where are we going, anyway, Pop? Who is this Mr. Twain? What'd he mean, "dinner and a murder"?

  Sidney Wang : Questions like athlete's foot: After a while, very irritating. To stop car, please.

  Willie Wang : What's wrong?

  Sidney Wang : Stop car, please. Shut engine off, please. Listen.

  Willie Wang : I don't hear nothing. What do you hear?

  Sidney Wang : Double negative and dog.

• Sidney Wang : Someone gone great trouble to make welcome guests not so welcome. Ring bell, please.

  Willie Wang : Are you nuts, Pop? Someone's tryin' to KILL us!

  Sidney Wang : Yes! Should make exciting weekend. Ring, please.

  Willie Wang : [sullen]  I sure wish it was Monday morning.

• Willie Wang : I don't get it, Pop. Who would hire a blind butler?

  Sidney Wang : Very clever. How he know how much he get paid?

• Sidney Wang : Look at invitation. What number of house?

  Willie Wang : 2... 2...

  Sidney Wang : Correct. 22 Twain's

  [choo choo train, i.e., Lionel Train] 

  Sidney Wang : house. Continue.

• Willie Wang : Good night, Dad.

  Sidney Wang : Should have adopted pussycat.

• Dick Charleston : Excuse me, I was wondering if you've seen a white... Wang!

  Willie Wang : A white wang?

• Sidney Wang : What number of house?

  Willie Wang : Two, two.

  Sidney Wang : Correct. Two-two, Twain's house.

• Sidney Wang : I was adopted. I have my papers. That is why I have adopted all my children.

  Willie Wang : I was wondering.

  Sidney Wang : Oh, he loved me very much. But he was not very observant. One day, when I was 19, he call me to his study, notice for first time I was Oriental and kick me out of house.

• Willie Wang : Holy Shanghai!

• Screaming Door Bell : Aaaaaahhhh! Aaah! Ah!

  Willie Wang : Holy cow! There killing someone in there.

  Sidney Wang : Calm yourself.

  Willie Wang : Didn't you hear the scream?

  Sidney Wang : Oh, no. You heard scream. More experienced ear heard doorbell.