Tony Oliver: Lupin the Third (2003 Pioneer dub)
Quotes
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Mamo : Obviously, eternal life would be wasted on a vulgarian like that man there.
Arsene Lupin III : That's not true. I eat meat!
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Arsene Lupin III : Time does us all in, Mamo! That's the way it's supposed to be.
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Fujiko Mine : [gasps] Lupin?
Arsene Lupin III : Alas... only what's left of him.
Fujiko Mine : Hm. What exactly is that supposed to mean?
Arsene Lupin III : [walks to her with a rose] It means, my dear Fujiko, that you are a rose, and I have been pricked by the thorn of your indifference...
Fujiko Mine : "The thorn of my indifference?" Oh, brother...
Arsene Lupin III : [smells the rose] Fatally pricked, and now, almost completely wasted away, my darling.
Fujiko Mine : [chuckles] Fatally pricked, huh? You gotta love karma!
Arsene Lupin III : Yet, there is still one thing that could save me.
Fujiko Mine : What might that be?
Arsene Lupin III : If your petal-like lips would but caress my own unworthy sad ones, I might yet survive, my love.
Fujiko Mine : I would, but you know you'd just prick yourself all over again.
Arsene Lupin III : [throws the rose away] Boy, you're all thorns. And after all I went through to get you that damn Stone!
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Mamo : [shows off the people he's cloned] This is the work of 10,000 years. A masterwork, if I say so myself. The leading lights of science, philosophy, art. All under one roof, and all are perfectly real!
Arsene Lupin III : Hm! So, sort of a Noah's Ark?
Mamo : Let's just say that if you've never given any thought about the world, starting now would either be a particularly good idea, or a pathetically pointless one, if you catch my drift, Mr. Lupin.
Arsene Lupin III : Uh?
Mamo : Because the time is nigh, Mr. Lupin, but sadly the guest list is... quite short. Only the elite of history's most brilliant and beautiful people!
Arsene Lupin III : Oh, uh... I'm sorry to hear that.
[laughs hysterically]
Mamo : I imagine you are.
Arsene Lupin III : No, I mean, it's just after all that work... an ugly, demented gnome like you isn't even eligible!
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Arsene Lupin III : [after being attacked by a thug with a mallet] Steroids have completely ruined croquet!
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Arsene Lupin III : I don't believe it!
Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : [laughing] Serves you right, lover boy!
[an explosion occurs behind the two men, causing them to fall over]
Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Ow.
[They get up and exchange glances]
Arsene Lupin III : Shall we?
Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Let's go, buddy!
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Arsene Lupin III : Hey look who's got his game face on!
[Goemon slices the helicopter's blades in mid air. The action freezes for a moment as Goemon reflects on the fact that the steel-cutter has only cut steel]
Goemon Ishikawa : An unworthy target defiles the weapon.
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Daisuke Jigen : I have a sinking feeling about this.
Arsene Lupin III : You just gave me a great idea, buddy.
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Arsene Lupin III : Hey, you want a pillow back there, Goemon?
Daisuke Jigen : Just drive the damn car.
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Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Ah son of a bitch!
Arsene Lupin III : Hey Pops, take it easy, exercise can be awfully dangerous at your age ya know!
Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Shut up you!
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Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Lupin! Lupin! Don't you know you're supposed to be dead?
Arsene Lupin III : So it seems, and that's what's been troubling me.
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Goemon Ishikawa : Bad enough that your infantile addiction to this woman has consistently rendered you an unreliable business partner. But even now, as she conspires with others to have us killed, you continue to defend her! It shows that...
Arsene Lupin III : Please. Go on. Shows what?
Goemon Ishikawa : ...that you are a weak man of no conviction and no honour.
Daisuke Jigen : Come on. You're being a little too harsh, aren't you, Goemon?
Goemon Ishikawa : It is only natural for you to defend the actions of Lupin, especially since you are responsible for some of his sins as well.
Daisuke Jigen : What? Why, you pious jerk!
Goemon Ishikawa : What?
[a standoff between Goemon and Jigen ensues]
Goemon Ishikawa : I've always wanted to slash that ridiculous hat of yours!
Daisuke Jigen : Huh? What was that?
Arsene Lupin III : Guys, come on!
Goemon Ishikawa : It's probably hiding a bald spot as big as your ass!
Daisuke Jigen : Now that's it!
Arsene Lupin III : Hey, wait! Come on! Look! You're right, OK? I'll turn over a brand new leaf! The woman is history! Word of honor! Now shake hands, and let's move on, OK?... I said let's go, alright, guys?
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Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : Get back here! LUPIN! What the hell are you up to?
Arsene Lupin III : Oh, I'd say... at least several hundred feet, with any luck. See ya!
[takes off]
Inspector Zenigata (2003 Pioneer dub) : What the hell? Hey! HEY!
Arsene Lupin III : [chuckles] Bye! Catch you later!
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Fujiko Mine : [referring to Mamo's promise of eternal life] I can't believe it. It was all a lie!
Arsene Lupin III : Maybe it wasn't. I think he was researching immortality...
Daisuke Jigen : He's just another wacky old rich guy.
Arsene Lupin III : Or a clone.
Daisuke Jigen : Say what?
Arsene Lupin III : You said it yourself. The guy had the bucks to pull anything off! Technologically, it's not a big deal anymore. Just a little dab of DNA'll do ya, and theoretically, if you repeat the process over and over again, you - or, successive copies of you - could live forever.
Daisuke Jigen : Well, it certainly would explain the mystery of your dear departed doppelganger...
Arsene Lupin III : And a single strand of my hair is really all anybody would have needed to do it.
Daisuke Jigen : Anybody with a few billion dollars to play with...
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Daisuke Jigen : Don't be a friggin' idiot!
Arsene Lupin III : That's just it... I'd be an idiot if I didn't go!
Daisuke Jigen : The world is full of women, Lupin!
Arsene Lupin III : It's lousy with women. But not with love.
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Mamo : The process has its limitations.
Fujiko Mine : Limits?
[Over in a hallway, Lupin talks to a dying older Mamo clone]
Mamo : The transfer of the chromosomal data is never accomplished with complete fidelity. There are... anomalies, infinitesimally small in each case, but the cumulative effect of such - chaotic - pollution... can be observed after only a dozen or so generations, and what you see before you is a 130th generation facsimile. I am but a faint, distorted echo of myself.
Arsene Lupin III : But you were always distorted by your obsession.
Mamo : But is it not... everyone's obsession?
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[Lupin finishes the food while Fujiko sleeps]
Arsene Lupin III : Typical! You all want to be the center of a guy's universe. But as soon as he actually acts like it, it's "Oh, I didn't mean like that. I mean, adoring me is fine, but wanting me's kind of icky."
[He finishes the food and throws down the pan, grabbing a hatchet]
Arsene Lupin III : Well... we can drivel about love vs. desire all night. But I think... we can both agree that you drive me crazy!
[He slashes at Fujiko's door with the hatchet]
Fujiko Mine : Lupin, what are you...?
[Lupin breaks the door down completely and laughs maniacally]
Fujiko Mine : Lupin, now just...!
[Lupin throws off Fujiko's cover and jumps straight out of his underwear, diving up and over in an arc at Fujiko. As he goes in for the landing, he finds himself getting woozy. He lands on the ground beside Fujiko, completely nude. Fujiko gently shakes him]
Fujiko Mine : Lupin? Lupin!
[She realizes he's fast asleep and picks up the medicine bottle she used to drug his food]
Fujiko Mine : I didn't know this stuff was so damn potent.
[Lupin begins to snore softly. Fujiko takes out a transmitter from her bra]
Fujiko Mine : This is all for your own good, lover.
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Arsene Lupin III : Ah, let your hat go, Jigen. It's time you started to look a little hipper anyway.
Daisuke Jigen : Yeah, like I'm gonna take fashion tips from a guy who dresses like a circus ringmaster.
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Daisuke Jigen : Well, that rat in the bathroom was the size of a friggin' chinchilla, but this coffee's amazing.
[Lupin yawns. Jigen offers him the coffee]
Daisuke Jigen : Here you go.
[Lupin takes the cup]
Arsene Lupin III : Fujiko started to tell me about Goemon. What happened back there?
Daisuke Jigen : [flicking the tip of the Zantetsuken to Lupin] That.
[Lupin picks up the tip and inspects it]
Daisuke Jigen : His Zantetsu sword. Freaked him out. Said it broke because, get this, he's not worthy.
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[Fujiko freezes Lupin with a spray. He stands, mouth frozen open]
Arsene Lupin III : Hey, Fujiko, what the hell are you doing?
Fujiko Mine : Don't be mad at me.
[She places a flippant kiss on his lower lip and walks away]
Fujiko Mine : Bye-bye.
Arsene Lupin III : [hopping helplessly around] Wait, Fujiko! Hey! Don't go!
[He falls over]
Arsene Lupin III : Uh! Ow.
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[Mamo seems to walk on thin air]
Mamo : Something the matter, Mr. Lupin?
Arsene Lupin III : Uh...
Mamo : No?
[Lupin gingerly tests the thin air and finds it's re-inforced glass underneath]
Mamo : Well, come along, then.
[Lupin edges onto the glass and laughs]
Arsene Lupin III : I was giving you more credit than you deserve.
[He suddenly falls through the air and lands on the ground]
Arsene Lupin III : Aw, me and my big mouth.
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Daisuke Jigen : [playfully dumping water on Lupin] Hey, Lupin!
Arsene Lupin III : Hey, hey, cut it out!
Daisuke Jigen : Surf's up!
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Goemon Ishikawa : Don't forget that Lupin is a masochist, Jigen.
Arsene Lupin III : Come on. That's not true. I do not enjoy being made a fool of.
Daisuke Jigen : Well, you sure do fake it pretty good.
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Arsene Lupin III : [seeing Jigen coming in to save him] Oh, I could kiss him!
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Arsene Lupin III : [explaining how Mamo gave him, Jigen and Fujiko the vision] He simply pumped the room full of some kind of gas that knocked us out. Then he took us out of here, put on a little show for us, and then brought us right back.
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Arsene Lupin III : Hey, Mamo! I've got the stone now, so guess what? Tag, you're it! I quit!
[He hits the security camera with a mallet]
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Mamo : Cloning was my entree to godhood.
Arsene Lupin III : Are you saying I owe my very existence to you?
Mamo : Lupin, you're nothing but a random byproduct of my whim. And yet, being an idiot has its advantages. A smarter man than you might be tempted to wonder what really happened last spring. Was it the copy that was executed... or the original?
Arsene Lupin III : Why, you son of a bitch! I know who the hell I am!
Mamo : You see, it's a philosophical riddle.
[He disappears, cackling]
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Arsene Lupin III : Now, where were we?
[He leans lustfully towards Fujiko]
Fujiko Mine : Hold on, Lupin, I have to tell you something.
Arsene Lupin III : It can wait. Aw, now.
Fujiko Mine : [enjoying Lupin's advances] No, please, I'm serious.
Arsene Lupin III : Come on!
[He tries to kiss Fujiko]
Fujiko Mine : No, stop. Oh...
[She giggles. The two of them end up in Mamo's throne room. Mamo sits at the other end of the room and watches the couple with outrage]
Arsene Lupin III : It's all right, baby. We're all alone.
[Fujiko tickles him]
Arsene Lupin III : No fair! Cut it out! Resistance...
[Fujiko knees him in the crotch]
Arsene Lupin III : ... Is futile.
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[Lupin enters a courtyard. A pair of hands covers his eyes, frightening him out of his wits]
Arsene Lupin III : [screaming] Let me go, let me go, let me go!
[He backs against the wall and sees Fujiko emerging from behind the staircase]
Fujiko Mine : Hey. Remember me?
Arsene Lupin III : Fujiko.
[He hesitantly steps down]
Arsene Lupin III : Uh... You seem so... I mean, are you okay?
Fujiko Mine : Oh, I'm doing just fine.
Arsene Lupin III : Yeah? Well, I could be doing a lot better.
Fujiko Mine : Aw... That's just pent-up testosterone talking.
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Mamo : You are so brave. Very well. If that's what you want, I'll grant you a hero's death. And since I'm feeling magnanimous, I'll even reveal to you, that it was your clone who died last spring! Now, rest in peace!
[laughing maniacally, he sends beams of lasers to home in on Lupin. Lupin holds up the tip of the Zantetsuken and deflects the beams back at Mamo]
Arsene Lupin III : [in thought] Thanks, Goemon... wherever you are.
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Arsene Lupin III : Well, there it is. Surrounded by a friggin' army of mercenary eggheads.
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Fujiko Mine : [telling Lupin that Flinch tortured her to make him sympathize with her] I don't care about the damn stone anymore. Just hold me.
Arsene Lupin III : [realizing this is an opportunity for him to possibly have sex with her] There, now. Of course I will, sweetheart.
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[Lupin climbs a staircase and sees a figure with long white hair, wearing a purple suit, sitting at a harp and playing it]
Arsene Lupin III : Are you the hospital director, or just another one of the inmates?
Mamo : You seem to be under the misapprehension that this is some sort of an asylum for the insane. I assure you nothing could be further from the truth, Mr. Lupin.
[the figure turns around and reveals his grey, ghoulish face]
Arsene Lupin III : [gaping, horrified] Uh...
Mamo : Yes, I am Mamo. I've obtained the Philosopher's Stone now.
Arsene Lupin III : [confused] You're the big scary bad guy?
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Arsene Lupin III : Why, baby, you do love me!
Fujiko Mine : [amorous] Possibly.
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Daisuke Jigen : Now he's trying psychology.
Arsene Lupin III : Psychology doesn't work on an idiot savant.
