- Antoinette Lilly: Have you ever been married?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: Sure. A long time ago.
- Antoinette Lilly: Did you love her?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: With all my heart. Sometimes that just isn't enough.
- Antoinette Lilly: What happened?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: I caught her in bed with my best friend.
- Antoinette Lilly: What did you do to him?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: I shot her.
- Antoinette Lilly: What! What about him?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: He was my best friend!
- Dr. Canterbury, Head of Sanatorium: Billy, my considered diagnosis is that you have the worst ailment known to man - no money!
- Bronco Billy McCoy: Now look! I don't take kindly to kids playin' hooky from school. I think every kid in America ought to go to school... at least up to the eighth grade.
- Young kid: We don't go to school today, Bronco Billy. It's Saturday!
- Antoinette Lilly: But why do I hate him so?
- Lorraine Running Water: The Apaches have a word for that... it's called love.
- Antoinette Lilly: Good morning!
- Lefty LeBow: What's so good about it?
- Antoinette Lilly: Smell that fresh morning air! Look at the blue sky above!
- Lefty LeBow: Have you been drinkin' some of Doc's Snakebite?
- Lorraine Running Water: Do you understand what Bronco Billy and the wild west show are all about? You can be anything you want. All you have to do is go out and become it!
- Bronco Billy McCoy: I've got a special message for you little pardners out there. I want you to finish your oatmeal at breakfast and do as your mom and pa tell you because they know best. Don't ever tell a lie and say your prayers at night before you go to bed. And as our friends south of the border say, 'Adios, amigos.'
- Bronco Billy McCoy: Go ahead, let the tears fall in the beer.
- Antoinette Lilly: I'm not crying!
- Bronco Billy McCoy: There's nothing wrong with cryin'.
- Antoinette Lilly: The smoke in here is hurting my eyes!
- Antoinette Lilly: What are you going to do?
- Bronco Billy McCoy: I do the thinking around here.
- Antoinette Lilly: I hadn't noticed.
- Antoinette Lilly: [Sarcastically while driving in rural country] When do we get to the next VILLAGE?
- Station Mechanic: [about his wife] You want her fixed?
- John Arlington: Sometimes she makes me so mad I could kill her!