Dangerous Davies: The Last Detective (1981 TV Movie)

Bill Maynard: Mod Lewis

Quotes 

• [talking about Dangerous's wife] 

  Mod Lewis : What made you propose marriage to a woman like that?

  Dangerous Davies : It was lack of conversation. There was an awkward silence and I couldn't think of anything else to say.

• Mod Lewis : You fought in Zululand then, Mr Harkness?

  Harkness : Zululand? Yes. I was in that war. Not that it did much good. They're all in Bristol now, you know!

  Dulcie : You can be sent to prison for saying things like that these days!

• [Dangerous and Mod are very drunk as they walk back late at night from the pub to their lodgings in Mrs Fulljames's house. A horse suddenly appears, walking along the road towards them] 

  Mod Lewis : Do you see a horse?

  Dangerous Davies : Indeed I do. That looks like the rag-and-bone man's animal. It should be tethered. It constitutes a danger to traffic.

  Mod Lewis : Why not tether it to Mrs Fulljames's door-knocker?

  [they chuckle] 

  Dangerous Davies : What a lovely idea. Hey, Mod, there's nothing to tie it on with.

  Mod Lewis : Wait. Hold fast a minute. Why don't we just push him inside?

  Dangerous Davies : What a bloody fine thought. That'll give her some *real* cavalry.

  [Mod holds the front door open while Dangerous leads the horse up the steps and into the hall. They run away chuckling. When they return the following morning, the fire brigade are there, leading the horse away and hosing the carpets. Mrs Fulljames is at an upstairs window] 

  Mrs. Fulljames : [frantically]  Did you put that horse in my house? Did you two do it? This horse has pooped everywhere. Every bloody where. Up the passage, up the stairs, in the front room.

  Dangerous Davies : [to a fireman]  You'd better get the jumping sheet. I think she's going to topple out any minute.