- Jane Hardy: [startled by someone at her back door] Oh!
- Reverend Winston: Miss Hardy, please.
- Jane Hardy: [laughing, relieved] Oh! You scared the hell out of me!
- Reverend Winston: I should probably take that as a compliment. *Ha ha ha ha ha!*
- Jane Hardy: [leaving the grocery store] Hello, what's your name?
- Alice: Alice, but my mommy said not to talk to you.
- Jane Hardy: Why would she say that?
- Alice: Because you live in the funny house.
- Jane Hardy: Oh, my house is funny, is it? What's so funny about it?
- Alice: It's haunted, and you're a ghost!