- Captain Jamieson: Max, what course are we on?
- Max the Computer: It's a far out course, Captain, deep into the cosmos and heading into infinity. Hey, I like that!
- Captain Jamieson: Why on Earth did they ever make these abusive and emotionally unstable computers?
- Captain Jamieson: Max, can you pinpoint this thing precisely for us?
- Max: Not a chance.
- Captain Jamieson: Max, don't be a stiff! Now, are there foreign bodies on this spacecraft?
- Max: Well, let me see...
- [the Creature appears on a monitor]
- Max: There he is! Ugly, isn't he?
- Rodzinski: Mayday, Mayday, Mayday! The creature's on top of Jameson and Jameson's on top of me, the inconsiderate shit!
- Annie McHugh: If I were attacked by a pack of wild subterranean bush pigs and you possessed the only bush pig blaster in the universe, I would not want your company!
- Annie McHugh: Let's just hope that Dr. Stark is in a better world.
- Rodzinski: He's in that thing's stomach is where he is!
- Max: Goooood morning! It's a bright new day aboard the good ship Vertigo! The time is 8:30 in the a.m. The weather outside is a brisk 200 degrees below zero.
- The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your face. It could just be so yummy. I'd like to have your face, in my tummy.
- The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your smile. / Your smile is so beguiling. / If I could eat your smile, / I'd be smiling.
- The Creature: [singing] I want to eat your knees! / Oh they would really please me. / So let me eat those knees, /Don't you tease me!
- Annie McHugh: Max, I need you to do me a favor.
- Max: Max has the facts!
- Annie McHugh: Come on, Max, this is no time for you to be a little snot. We're going to need your help.
- Max: You want the facts? Just ask Max!
- Max the Computer: Good Morning Dr. Stark. Check out the observation window for a heavy revelation. This looks like a red letter day for you, Doc. It's an unknown and undiscovered planet and it looks like you discovered it, Doc.
- Dr. Stark: An unknown and undiscovered planet and I discovered it.
- Dr. Stark: I have work to do.
- Annie McHugh: Oh doctor, aren't you going to see the movie with us, you know it really might relax you.
- Dr. Stark: I'm perfectly relaxed. Science relaxes me.
- John: Would you care for some pie, before you...?
- Dr. Stark: Science is my pie. Curiosity is my sweet tooth. Knowledge is my candy. Bye.
- Annie McHugh: Dr. Stark, I sense something is troubling you.
- Dr. Stark: Troubling is not the exact word I would use. Amazed, incredulous, mind-boggled... any of those words would be appropriate.
- Annie McHugh: Remember, a major part of our training was to remain asexual.
- Rodzinski: I am asexual: a sexual fiend!
- Dr. Stark: Lyrics? What do I care about lyrics! This is an alien organism! You were expecting Rodgers and Hart?